So regret my house purchase :(

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Forum -> Household Management

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amother

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:02 pm

My house is 40 years old. Cost way more than we thought to just make it liveable - paint, lights and carpet. Still desperately needs a new kitchen and flooring in kitchen, plus master bathroom is falling apart (couldn’t tell that before and the home inspection didn’t see it). One other bathroom also has all the tiles coming up and tub is chipping. So regretting how much we spent! A month after we bought, a house only 5(!!) years old went on the market for 70,000 more. It’s like brand new. Gorgeous move in condition. Perfect porch for a succa. Full above ground basement. We only have 2 floors and a small area for succa - have to put down cement for a Patio. Other house would be same cost as my house will be after all the work I’m doing, and is a thousand times nicer and newer. High ceilings, all upgraded....o can’t stop thinking about it! Help me have the right attitude!! Or should I sell and look for another home? That house sold very quickly! Only one like it in my area

amother

Orange

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:05 pm

You can’t look back.
You made a decision that was right for you.

Take the $70k and renovate the stuff that needs it.

amother

Violet

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:08 pm

I won’t go into too many details but I was in a similar boat. I realized after we moved in that it would have been a lot smarter to buy a slightly more expensive house in a better location that required less work. But you know what? What’s done is done. It was hashgacha protis. For whatever reason Hashem wants us to live here in this house. Eating myself up over it will just make me miserable for no good reason.

avrahamama

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:09 pm

Most new construction doesn't have the same kind of durability as older construction. Now you have a chance to fix your house up to suit YOUR taste. And ensure that it is down with proper craftsmanship in mind.

Rubber Ducky

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:11 pm

Second-guessing is damaging for your neshama.

You will be able to decorate your home to reflect your taste and that is a bracha.

cnc

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:11 pm

avrahamama wrote:

This .
Houses built five years ago are usually built cheaply with lower quality materials. Your house was most likely a better investment / purchase in the long run.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:18 pm

My house was bought brand new. Its ten years old and showing wear and tear everywhere. My parents house was built in the early 1900s and its solid construction.

steak4me

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:26 pm

Also you’ll take a massive loss if you sell now even if prices went up. Bec you paid closing costs already. You basically only paid interest so far in your mortgage. And you’ll be paying a seller fee and a buyer fee..

tichellady

Mon, Sep 28 2020, 9:28 pm

Hugs. It’s a hard feeling to regret a big purchase. Let yourself feel how you feel and then you can move on and take action

amother

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 7:11 am

It’s so hard to see that a 40 year old house is stronger. The floors are uneven in a lot of places. Closet doors don’t all close properly. HVAC isn’t amazing.... what

amother

Emerald

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 7:19 am

I think at a certain point many many people regret their house purchase. I know we did and my SIL who bought at the same time also did. At the end of the day what helps to get over it is to know that the decision you made was based on the info you had then. You made the right decision for then. Hindsight can change things, but there's no way you could have known that this other house would go onto the market. Also, the concept of bashert: That house was not meant for you. If it was, you would have gotten it because Hashem gives everyone exactly what's destined for them. For some reason, this is the house He wanted you to get. Accept it. You can still try to make a logical decision of what makes sense for you to do going forward, but looking back with regret isn't helpful at all.

amother

Amethyst

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 7:27 am

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Not op, but this is exactly what I needed to read right now!!
I wish I had this kind of emuna and bitachon.
My husband is definitely like this, but I'm far from it...

FranticFrummie

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 7:29 am

My first house was built in 1914. There was not a single thing in that house that was code!

The first year I lived there I cried - a lot. Owning a house is definitely an adventure.

The roof leaked in 6 different places. The basement flooded so high it put out the pilot light in the furnace. Then the sewer line broke outside of the foundation, and wasn't covered by insurance. I paid cash for all the repairs.

I had to remove all the lead pipes, and redo all the wiring. Every time I opened up a wall, my contractors collapsed laughing. It always cost me money when they did that. Sad

I gutted and rebuilt the bathroom, which meant that I had to pee in a bucket for 3 weeks. I had to gut a huge part of the kitchen, because of water damage that was hidden behind the back splash. (Buy me a few drinks, and I'll tell you the saga of the dripping sink.)

The kitchen was CARPETED! Who does that? I thought the carpet was brown, until I pulled up the edges and found out that it was actually patterned. Confused

The carpet was glued to a foam pad, that was glued to old linoleum, that was glued to a gorgeous hardwood floor. Everything had to be removed by hand, down to scraping off the glue inch by inch, trying not to ruin the floor underneath.

When the water boiler dies, you have no landlord to call, and you pray that it's covered under your insurance. Meanwhile, everyone gets cold showers. It's enough to make you reconsider renting!

The thing is, I bought the house from an estate sale, for $73,000, and 8 years later I sold it for
$250,000. Living in a construction zone was not always fun, but I learned a ton, and actually came to enjoy the process. I got a real sense of accomplishment, and got to use my creativity in a lot of areas.

Try to remember that the market will rise and fall. Watch the trends very closely, and seriously consider whether you want to sell, and if so, when would be the right time. You can definitely trade up if you get your timing right, but you have to do a ton of research first.

My best advice to you, would be to try to laugh instead of cry - it will save your sanity.

(Oh, and it gets better. One of my neighbors accused me of being a pr0stitute, because I had "men coming and going all day long". Can't Believe It

)

amother

Denim

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 7:31 am

Yep, same here. However I bought a new house. Not amazed at all. Hope to find a tenant soon. The decision has been made.

ValleyMom

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 7:45 am

Congratulations on being a homeowner-some people unfortunately never ever have that opportunity so be PROUD of yourself!

There are always going to projects when you own a home. The key is to prioritize- what can you live with for a few years and what is absolutely not negotiable needs to be done now??!!

LEAKY roof- NOW.
Ugly but serviceable cabinets can wait...

Try to find the JOY in owning your own home. We have put a sukkah on our grass for 25 years- w survived- I believe you will too!
Just get some citronella candles to keep away bugs and ENJOY being the QUEEN OF YOUR OWN CASTLE.

s c

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 8:17 am

We bought that slightly more expensive but completely newly renovated modern house that you're talking about. When we moved in everything was new and stunning , seemingly done to a high spec. And in the last 15 years since we moved in we have found a lot of shoddy workmanship , electrical work that could have started fires. We have had to redo 4 bathrooms over that period of time due to various issues with them etc and have spent a lot on it. You get the picture? I'm saying the grass always seem greener. Live in your house and see what works and what doesn't work for you and when you do it up over time you'll do it exactly how it works for you and to your own taste.

amother

Black

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 8:33 am

My 70 year old house has creaky floors shaved doors so they close ugly basement carpet and small bedrooms. Solid plumbing, great insulation and properly installed (but old and tiny) windows.

My rented apt in a very popular new development was brand new with high ceiling, bigger bathrooms, brand new kitchen and porch off of it. Beautiful walls and woodwork and huge bedrooms and closets. It also had awful insulation, windows that didn't close fully and toilets that were constantly clogged....

I choose my own house (with my oversized backyard akd front lawn thats covered in crunchy color leaves now! Sunny

) over my brand new apt.

I rememeber the first winter I was amazed that it was getting towards the end of march and I still didnt "feel" the winter. I was used to wear multiple layers indoors from october to april....

Oh, and out utility bill is abt half for this house that is was for the apt! (Solar pannels help too).

amother

Violet

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 9:11 am

Quote:

This is the right attitude.

In my case I had to move because I had a job offer so I had exactly 3 months to arrange a move start to finish. It is extremely difficult to find a house to rent with a large family. I made one trip, looked at 3 houses and put an offer on one of them. And even then it was down to the wire with getting the mortgage approval in time. We signed the day after we moved in so we needed to sign a special dispensation allowing us to move in on moving day. It was the best of the three available THEN. No room for coulda, shoulda, woulda. I could look at the people living in better nicer homes, or I could compare myself to people even worse off than we are. Like my friend who’s divorced and was forced to move out of her nice house on a good block and move into an apartment half the size. My other friend with an old decrepit kitchen they can’t afford to replace. And on and on. So many ppl have much bigger problems than I do.

ora_43

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 9:14 am

You're comparing your house, that you know everything about, to a house you've never lived in. I bet the other house also has its issues. Even if the workmanship isn't shoddy. There's always something - the shower is a weird shape, or the door handles always stick, or the kitchen cabinets are just a tiny bit too small for your best pots, or there's mold, or bugs, or horrible neighbors.

And anyway, a house in worse condition for $70,000 less is a pretty good deal. Remember, if you had that $70,000 on a mortgage, you'd have to make the payments every month, and pay interest, too. It would end up being an extra $110,000. Now you can set aside what you have, when you have it, and make things exactly the way you want.

ora_43

Tue, Sep 29 2020, 9:19 am

The secret to being happy with your house purchase is to compare it to renting. Forget nicer houses. Just focus on the beauty of not having to beg someone else to get the leaks fixed, not having to move, and knowing that someday you'll pay down the mortgage.

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