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Consequence for hitting or hurting parents



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 8:35 pm
My 2 yo started hitting, kicking, scratching sometimes randomly, sometimes when they’re upset. my husband and I really need help figuring out an appropriate consequence and sticking to it. Dc doesn’t mind time out so it hasn’t helped at all. They will voluntarily go there and just laugh and talk.

Any ideas?
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 8:40 pm
Punishment does not help, even when you call it "Consequence"...

Just keep the toddler from doing it, say sternly "no"

You might want to try to find out what prompts it.

But such small children do not plan enough for punishments to be efficient...
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 8:48 pm
We're dealing with this behavior now as well. I say "No!" and hold on to the hands or feet or whatever he's using to hurt me for a few seconds while I tell him it's not ok to hurt Ema and I give him a sad look. It doesn't seem to be helping yet but I'm hoping the lesson will eventually sink in.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 9:00 pm
I put mittens on my daughter's hands when she hit. (It was summer so there wasn't quite so much association with cold or refusing to wear than in the winter.
We talked about Hashem gave us hand for mitzvot. What Mitzvah can you do with hands/feet/mouth (for a biter) child need to have good verbal skills to do this but it worked very well.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 10:22 pm
I really like Janet landsbury’a approach to this and I think is developmentally appropriate

https://www.janetlansbury.com/.....vior/
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2020, 11:33 pm
My 2 yr old also hit and shrieked and the rule we made was that if you need to do that you need to be in your room. DC could come out when ready to remain calm. DC had enough seichel to understand so it worked really well.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 12:10 am
I'm going annonymous because I don't know what kind of backlash I'm going to get for this but...
(mine was an older 2/younger 3 when this happened): when my son used to do this I would put MYSELF in the "time out". I'd go into my room and lock the door. I told him that he was hurting me and I didn't want to be hurt. He would sit outside of my room and cry and then he would calm down and I'd open up the door.
This is what worked for us. He stopped hitting pretty quickly.
Very possibly wouldn't work for yours.
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 3:28 am
We sit child on the step with a 2 minute timer.
Sit next to him if he moves away and hold him on the step. No speaking necessary other than " we don't hit" repeated every 20 seconds or so as needed.
If child is quite bright I agree with saying "I don't want to be near u when u hit " and moving away.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 7:55 am
tichellady wrote:
I really like Janet landsbury’a approach to this and I think is developmentally appropriate

https://www.janetlansbury.com/.....vior/


This is amazing
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