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Anonymous handout question
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silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 9:28 am
Once when my husband was jobless, and then he finally found a job, we lived paycheck to paycheck for quite some while. So when one time before pesach we received a check in the mail, our eyes lit up!! We called up the sender and thanked him profusely. Though our status wasn't really a secret. We probably would NOT be comfortable with receiving directly cash or a check, anonymously.
(Bh we're doing much better now)

Now, I do think paying ones balance anonymously, say butcher, grocery, tuition, etc, is not so uncomfortable. I might be wrong though.

When my husband once found out of a friend who couldn't send his 4 girls to daycamp due to not having the money to pay, my husband went down to the daycamp office and paid, asking to stay anonymous. His friends ego would've been crushed, had my husband let him know he paid daycamp tuition.

You may wanna consider the personality type of the recipient and how open they are about their financial.

However you end up giving, tzeddaka is an amazing chessed!
May you always be on the giving end.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 9:31 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If you are not doing well financially, and someone in your community wants to help you out before yom tov, would you prefer to get a phone call from the person saying they are dropping off money, or would you rather get money in an envelope in your mailbox anonymously?
Have you ever been in the position of receiving a handout anonymously and how did it make you feel?


There was someone who sent us cash in the mail anonymously once every few months. It would come in an envelope marked "min hashomayim." I still don't know who it was. It was very kind but the truth is we were managing without it. I had no way of letting them know that.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 11:02 am
Thank Gd never been in this situation, nad I pray never to, but giving to the Rabbi sounds the nicest way to me.

This way he can say, oh I get lots of money to disburse to the needy before yt......so the recipient doesn't even need to know its from someone specific.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 8:03 pm
Op here, thank you for all the reply. Its interesting to see how there are different opinions on this subject, but one resounding theme, its difficult to be on the receiving end. How can we give respectfully and let the recipient know they are not a nebach?
I personally really hate getting anything anonymously because then I'm just uncomfortable with everyone.... not just 1 specific person...
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Thu, Oct 01 2020, 9:29 pm
I will much rather know
I appreciate it and I don’t walk around uncomfortable thinking oh maybe it’s that person or someone else etc
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