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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
I think I will just have to give in



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 11:04 am
I'm due iyh very soon and my husband wants to give a certain name for a very reasonable reason. He has all the rights for wanting that name , yet I really dont like the name and hope I wont regret giving it but in this case it just seems only fair I should give it for my husband's sake .
Would you name your child a name that you didn't like? Had you ever done it and if yeah how did you end up taking it every time you called that name?

The thing is It's not that it's weird or interesting name , it's just that I dont like the name.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 11:06 am
Yes. My husband's father passed away. I don't love the name; the full name is too mature and adult-like for a baby, and there aren't any nicknames for this name that I like at all. But our next boy will definitely have that name. (I just had a girl, but I thought about it all pregnancy.)
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 11:11 am
Yes. My husbands father was niftar almost 2 years ago, and when I found out I was pregnant with a boy, I knew that he would have to have that name -even though my husband didn't insist, and I don't really like the name - I felt it was unfair to my husband to take that away from him (it's not an unusual name at all, just not something I love).
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 11:12 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm due iyh very soon and my husband wants to give a certain name for a very reasonable reason. He has all the rights for wanting that name , yet I really dont like the name and hope I wont regret giving it but in this case it just seems only fair I should give it for my husband's sake .
Would you name your child a name that you didn't like? Had you ever done it and if yeah how did you end up taking it every time you called that name?

The thing is It's not that it's weird or interesting name , it's just that I dont like the name.


My husband's great-grandmother H"YD had a yiddish name, and I don't go for it somehow together with our surname (I don't even mind it on it's own. And it's a pretty common name, I know tons of people who have it.) I named DD the Hebrew version of it (like, Aliza for Fraida, that kind of idea). and I'm so glad I did. She has told me many times that she prefers her Hebrew name over the actual name.

Is this a possibility for you?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 11:14 am
To add, my mother's name was very uncommon, and my SIL's all named their baby after her but call them by nickname. But my little sister has named her baby after my mother and is calling her just that. It happens to be, she's so cute (that's not even adequate - she's heaven, yum, smush, delicious, and a million other things), and I think she just carries the name. It's working.

Good of my BIL to support my sis in this.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 11:23 am
I gave a name for DH relative that I didnt really like. Its a normal name just not something I would ever pick. I have fallen in love with the name and when people ask for suggestions it will be one of the first ones I give.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 12:00 pm
Hi just had that. My husband wanted very much and me not so. But I gave in and this baby is such a cute easygoing Child. I attribute it to the fact that I gave in. And now I love his name Smile
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 3:14 pm
I know someone who gave a name she really disliked because she had family pressure (mostly from her husband). It was after her father but it was 3 uncommon not pretty names. She shortened one and uses it as a nickname but she told me it took her over a year to make peace with it.
I'm due now and I'm still confused about what I'm naming my unborn child. I really can't think of a name that hubby and I both like. He likes very common names, I like something more out of the box. For our first we found a compromise but now for our second we're both stumped. May end up naming after a grandmother but for some reason I'm really not feeling pulled towards it.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Fri, Oct 02 2020, 3:21 pm
My husband really wanted to name after his Rebbe. I have an otd brother with that name and it has bad associations (I.e. he is a criminal/ drug dealer - not just not frum ) so we made it a middle name and call him a name I like.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 1:16 am
Could you give a first name that is a trait that you really loved about that person, then use their first name as a middle name?

I.e., if Grandpa Moshe was a very strong person:
Ram Moshe
Oz Moshe
Yehezkel Moshe

If he was very generous: Nadiv Moshe

I think that plays a very nice tribute
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shevi82




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 1:23 am
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
Hi just had that. My husband wanted very much and me not so. But I gave in and this baby is such a cute easygoing Child. I attribute it to the fact that I gave in. And now I love his name Smile


I have the same. My little boy is named after my fil. I did not feel it is right just because I dont like the name. He is my husbands father. So we gave the name, the first few weeks were not so easy for me, but I felt I did the right thing.
My son it not so little any more, he is exceptionally sweet and special. I love his name now!! and so glad I gave it as he has my fil full name including the surname.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 1:42 am
Don’t.
My child is almost 14, I still hate myself for giving a name - albeit a second name, because of pressure.
My other child I put my foot down and unfortunately for my dh didn’t name for his parent that had died right before. Rabbi said, if it will come to a point that I will resent said child because of the strained relationship with the person, I’m not allowed.
It took a long time to convince myself not to name and felt extreme guilt for not naming, and got flack from everyone for not doing it. Fast forward a few years, I’m so happy I didn’t cave to the pressure. I would not have forgiven myself.
Rabbi said - my baby, my name. No matter what. I carry it, I name it. Simple.
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tree of life




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 5:01 am
Add another name that you like together you made the baby together you can make a comparise remember if the foot was on the other shoe u wanted a name and your husband didn't what would you want to happen wc have bh 7 kids each have 3 names besides my 7th has 4 no u do not like all the names but I compromised using names we want as the first names mazel tov may u have a easy birth and easy time making decisions on the names
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amother
Violet


 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 7:14 am
If you don't truly hate the name and it's not objectively ugly, use it. Naming a child for someone can mean a lot to the living relatives. It's always good to err on the side of kindness.

I have friends whose names I would never give to a child. But since I like my friends, I never think about their names. Some of my kids have names I would not have chosen out of a baby name book. But they are my kids, I love them, and the name is just part of what I love.
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mandksima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 2:09 pm
We used the Yiddish names from our relatives as middle names and picked a Hebrew first name we both liked. Yiddish names aren't used much in our community but I liked using them as middle names and didn't want to change them. We used nicknames growing up for our first two kids and they stuck but I was careful with the next 3 kids to use their full names as I don't like using nicknames anymore. So, you really do need to like the name a bit at least and then hope to love it. To hate it at first seems hard to be able to grow into fully accepting it.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 2:23 pm
I had to name a certain name for a few reasons but didn't like it. Dh didn't care any which way. In the end I decided I'm doing it and doing it happily. The child is heaven kh. The name really fits and I so don't care anymore.
But I do think that it depends on you and if u decide to not care that's fine, if you're the type that won't get over it don't do it...
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amother
Mint


 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 3:20 pm
I always said I wouldnt name my chld a very common name like moshy, esti etc. well guess what dc3 was due while my mil pased away witha very commo name (think sarah=, and I was so so unhappy to name my daughter this very common name. all my other children have typical jewish pronouncable names, but not supercommon. well while in hospital I called our ruv who said naming our daughter my mil's name is the right thing to do, I may add a second name though. I was 10 hours post partum started crying on the phone and asked whether it was a psak or an opinion, he laughed and said he would never argue with a kimpeturim but I should be assured my baby wlil carry the name with pride, he will daven for her and he advices me to name her that common name. I called dh and he was so so happy that I decided to go with it. we added a second name and I aways said we will call her the second name gues what 4 years later and noone even remembers her second name.
it did grow on me BUT slowly. it is not an ugly name, just something I never concideder giving at all. now I dont regret it anymore.
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 4:08 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Don’t.
My child is almost 14, I still hate myself for giving a name - albeit a second name, because of pressure.
My other child I put my foot down and unfortunately for my dh didn’t name for his parent that had died right before. Rabbi said, if it will come to a point that I will resent said child because of the strained relationship with the person, I’m not allowed.
It took a long time to convince myself not to name and felt extreme guilt for not naming, and got flack from everyone for not doing it. Fast forward a few years, I’m so happy I didn’t cave to the pressure. I would not have forgiven myself.
Rabbi said - my baby, my name. No matter what. I carry it, I name it. Simple.


Your amother, I don't know who you are so don't take this personally, but you sound very selfish.

14 years later you regret giving a SECOND name, a name most people probably don't know she has. Why does it irk you soooo much?


Last edited by Metukah on Sun, Oct 04 2020, 8:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Sun, Oct 04 2020, 7:02 pm
shevi82 wrote:
I have the same. My little boy is named after my fil. I did not feel it is right just because I dont like the name. He is my husbands father. So we gave the name, the first few weeks were not so easy for me, but I felt I did the right thing.
My son it not so little any more, he is exceptionally sweet and special. I love his name now!! and so glad I gave it as he has my fil full name including the surname.
so glad for you. My Ds is just 4months but so sweet and smiley. Heavenly. My big boy even remarked he hadn't dreamt that he will ever have such a cute brother. ...
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