When do you bentch/say birkas hamazon

amother

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 7:51 am

Obviously after you finish eating, but right after eating, after dessert, before dessert, after the food and dishes are cleared off, etc?
I have my reasons for asking, but don’t want to share them now.

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 7:52 am

After dessert, makes no difference whether the dishes have been cleared off, though we prefer to keep the bread on the table until after benching.

chanchy123

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 8:03 am

When my kids were younger, on Friday night we’d clear the table, bench, have the kids wear pajamas and only then serve dessert. Now we have the kids clear the table, serve dessert and then bench (all meals).

rakcna

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 8:19 am

After the meal, before dessert, and before we clear. We are makpid not to clear the table prior to birkat hamazon.

amother

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 8:26 am

rakcna wrote:

After the meal, before dessert, and before we clear. We are makpid not to clear the table prior to birkat hamazon.

Why?

avrahamama

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 9:02 am

We clear the table but leave the bread. Bench. Serve dessert.

We dont like benching at a dirty/messy table. We want the brachot of dessert.

silverlining3

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 9:25 am

We bentch when we think we're done eating. Sometimes full table sometimes partially cleared. Husband prefers bread to be seen on the table.

zaq

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 9:44 am

We do what avrahamama does. I can’t stand benching or eating dessert amid the ruins of a meal, and dh likes to let his meal percolate for a while before dessert.And sometimes we decide that we don’t want dessert after all.

You’re leave the bread as proof that you had more than enough food—veachalta vesava’ta. If the table is completely bare when you bench, the impression is that there wasn’t enough food. So you leave some bread to show that you had food left over.

amother

Sienna

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 9:56 am

I find that if we bentch before the table is cleared then no one helps clear the table.
We don't have a set routine though, either before dessert, or after. Table gets cleared before dessert, except spoons, glasses and water.

mha3484

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 10:59 am

I usually bentch when the kids want help going to bed/get antsy because experience has taught me that getting back to the table after that is really really hard.

amother

Tan

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 11:03 am

After dessert. Only things left on the table At the time is the dessert course remains /cups /drinks

seeker

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 1:18 pm

avrahamama wrote:

We clear the table but leave the bread. Bench. Serve dessert.

We dont like benching at a dirty/messy table. We want the brachot of dessert.

1. Widespread halachic opinion is that dessert gets its own bracha even before bensching.
2. If that's not your custom, you still could run into a problem of unnecessary brachos if you bench with the intention of saying another bracha right after.

Written with the full understanding that there are 70 sides to the Torah and I know only maybe a fraction of 3 of them

Success10

Mon, Oct 05 2020, 1:21 pm

seeker wrote:

This is my understanding as well, on both points.