Gift for friend who stayed w me in the hospital

amother

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:56 pm

I'm looking for ideas for a nice gift for a really good friend of mine who stayed w me in the hospital for 20 hrs while I went through a miscarriage (and drove me there/back).
She is 40, single and lives at home w her parents. She has money, bh, and is not high maintenance at all so whatever little luxuries in life she wants, she affords herself.
I, on the other hand, don't have too much money so I can't spend too much but I would go for the $50 range, give or take.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

ruby slippers

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 11:00 pm

Sometimes macy's has really good sales on jewelry- maybe a necklace or bracelet.

a donation in her honor or maybe a there is a place that is writing a sefer torah and you can buy a letter for her.

When all this clears up take her out for dinner and you can get out have a girls date- maybe dinner or nails getting done together or one of those painting studios.

twizzlers1

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 4:56 am

I like the idea of treating her for dinner. Maybe not now but in the future. that is so nice that you have such a good friend that is so there for you even though she is still single. She sounds very special. I hope that you have an easy recovery.

singleagain

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 8:00 am

Are you sure gifts is your friends love langue?

If something buys things for themselves, send to me they might appreciate one of the other langues.

However, I'll ask my standard, 4 questions

What does she LIKE
what does she WANT
what does she NEED

Does she have a hobby

If you have a hobby/like something, more will always be appreciated.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 8:02 am

So nice and refuah shleimah.

Is she the type to value a donation made in her honor?

Shabbos flowers? Since she is not married yet she might appreciate someone getting them for her.

Or is their a friend/family member you could ask?

Gift certificate to a fave place of hers...

Elfrida

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 9:03 am

singleagain wrote:

Are you sure gifts is your friends love langue?

If something buys things for themselves, send to me they might appreciate one of the other langues.
.

I don't completely agree with this. A single woman in her forties has no one who is going to buy her little gifts and luxuries. That means, her choice is to buy them herself, or go without. She has chosen not to deprive herself of things she wants, just because it means buying them for herself, but that doesn't mean that she wouldn't appreciate it if someone else was thoughtful enough to buy something for her.

It's something we can't really judge without knowing her, but the OP can consider it in the context of the person.

If she really is someone who wouldn't appreciate a gift, a donation sounds like a good idea. Maybe to a Hachnasat Kallah organization, in her zchut.

I'd be cautious about the dinner idea. If it was a short term project that could work, but we've really no idea how much longer the situation with corona will last. Going out a year after the event, rather looses the impact.

singleagain

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 9:27 am

Elfrida wrote:

Way to generalize. I happen to be older, single, living with my parents like OP's friends and there are certain situations where gift giving is definitely NOT my love langue. Not bc I'm "choosing not to deprive myself." But bc I honestly don't like gifts from certain people. I consider quality time with that person more important.

All I was doing was pointing out that physical gifts aren't always the best way to say thank you. One way to guess at this is if people buy for themselves, I would think they might not be a gift person.

amother

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 9:45 am

Thanks for all the replies. She's really not a high maintenace, luxury type of person. She's not into fashion, dress, jewelry, etc... She likes to read and mind her own business. When we used to hang out more often, we would take a walk to the park, a museum, or just hang out at Barnes & noble (remember that place?), or the library.
Sometimes the simple people are harder to treat Wink

singleagain

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 9:51 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If she likes to read what about a nice bookmark with her initial or you mentioned Barnes and nobles... They always have the cutest little tchotchkes in the front. Maybe something like that.

Barnes & nobles are still around by the way and I believe they're open you know just with social distancing and masks and stuff so maybe you can you know say let's go and offer to pay for her stuff

I once did that with a friend we went shopping and then at the register I put down my credit card and bought it for her

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 12:01 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

I believe any woman appreciates flowers and a nice box of chocolates. (Her marital status or stage in life is irrelevant to this gift.) With a personal card, this would be a very appropriate gift IMO.

I personally have no appreciation for flowers or nice chocolate.
If you give me flowers I will get rid of them ASAP. I don't like the smell or the mess they make. Expensive chocolate I feel is a waste. Give me 40 full size Hershey bars over a tiny $40 box of Godiva any day.

As single again said, what is her love language?
I would think, take her out as a thank you. A museum and dinner, a hike and lunch.... your time and friendship is probably more valube to her than a thing.
Say that you have so much gratitude for her being with you and that you want to show your appreciation.
Ask her.