Managing Cleaning Help for Dummies

amother

Sun, Oct 11 2020, 9:07 pm

Hi, I'm a dummy when it comes to managing cleaning help.

My mother never had help growing up, and I honestly have no clue how to do it. I have some social anxiety, and dealing with unfamiliar situations where I feel unprepared sets me off.

So anyone who is bored or just feeling generous with your time, please help! I literally need sample dialogue of how to screen, hire, and direct cleaning help.

I honestly have no idea how to relate to hired help. I'm either too friendly and chatty or too cold and aloof. I don't automatically know how to give directions, correct, offer food, etc. I just feel completely wrong-footed the entire time. Ideally I'd sneak into someone's house and watch them do it so I have some idea of what I'm supposed to do, but hoping this thread can help me...

Brooklynite1

Sun, Oct 11 2020, 9:28 pm

I do the same thing I think I can be overly friendly but some ladies like that because it’s humanizing. It’s important to be a mensch I think but you don’t have to socialize beyond your comfort level.

Do you live in town? I just end up calling a service and having a lady come and I’ve stuck with one of them for a while. There’s not much screening process in that case I just had them come and kept an eye on things and gave directions nicely (“let’s do this” as opposed to directives).

I give food but whatever I have around I try not to stress about it. Sometimes it’s pasta or scrambled eggs with veggies sometimes it’s nice Shabbos leftovers.

Try not to overthink you’ll get the hang of it Smile

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Oct 11 2020, 10:22 pm

I am not friends with my cleaning lady but I treat her with kindness and respect. I try to treat her the way I would want to be treated if positions are reversed.

Most of the time she doesn't work a full day but when she does I give her lunch. Because she is cleaning the house I generally order takeout to be delivered and so I will get her the same - either pizza, Chinese or equivalent. If she isn't working a full day I tell her to help herself to anything that she wants like water, soda, snacks or fruit.

At this point, she knows the routine better than I do and where everything is. But I will tell her if there is something that needs special attention. I will ask her what cleaning products she likes to use and also she will let me know when she is running low on supplies so I can order.

If you are just setting up a routine with a cleaning lady, I think it is appropriate to tell her what your expectations are - e.g. for a routine cleaning day. If there is something special that needs to be done, then you can ask her to do that when she comes.

I think most people limit the "special" task to only one. That is what I have learned from my mother and the special task is not a "crazy" one - it would be more like cleaning interior of the refrigerator or washing down shelves or cleaning blinds (if you had those - I don't).

I probably err on the side of being a good employer. I give her money for the winter holidays and her birthday. I have also given her stuff like clothing and household items. She even got a new upholstered arm chair which I had made for me which had to be remade Very Happy

She has been working for me for many years and while she isn't "family", she is a person that I have a lot of respect and affection for - she has raised her three children on a cleaning lady's salary and they all have graduated college - one is heading for med school. I paid her through the pandemic even though I didn't want her to come and was rewarded by this wonderful text from her son Smile

My mom wanted me to reach out to express how she feels in regards to the check you gave her.

She’s currently still in shock and is left speechless. She sincerely appreciates your kindness and generosity. She wanted me to thank you from the bottom of all of our hearts. She wanted me to tell you that she views you as angel that helped our family during this hardship.

Thank you so much