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-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Oct 11 2020, 11:31 pm
Ds spent the last few weeks at his otd father and just joined us for a few meals over the yom tov season.
Can I tell him we missed him or better not, because after all he 'has a choice of where To go '?
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amother
Pink
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Sun, Oct 11 2020, 11:33 pm
Of course you can! Keep it guiltfree and positive 
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 11 2020, 11:38 pm
| amother [ Pink ] wrote: | | Of course you can! Keep it guiltfree and positive |
How do I know if he feels guilty or not?
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DrMom
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Sun, Oct 11 2020, 11:48 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | How do I know if he feels guilty or not? |
I think she meant that the way you express yourself should not be loaded with phrasing intended to make him feel guilty.
Like, don't say, "Well, I sure missed you while I was home all by myself on chag and nobody to celebrate with. I hope at least *you* had fun."
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WhatFor
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Mon, Oct 12 2020, 12:00 am
I agree with the other imas. Say it in the same way you'd say "I love you". It shouldn't be loaded or attached to anything that implies you mean anything more than expressing love.
Or you can express the same sentiment without saying those words. Like, "it was so nice to have you with us for the last days/meals. Your presence adds so much/lights up a room/fill in whatever descriptor."
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shirachadasha
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Mon, Oct 12 2020, 4:42 am
| WhatFor wrote: | I agree with the other imas. Say it in the same way you'd say "I love you". It shouldn't be loaded or attached to anything that implies you mean anything more than expressing love.
Or you can express the same sentiment without saying those words. Like, "it was so nice to have you with us for the last days/meals. Your presence adds so much/lights up a room/fill in whatever descriptor." |
I agree. If it's such a delicate situation where you are measuring your words, it's best to focus on the positive. "I'm so glad you came for these meals".
I'm assuming you're the same Ima as from a prior post. Hugs to you. You seem awesome.
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