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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
Coffee
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Mon, Oct 19 2020, 5:40 pm
My father has a better relationship with my younger sister and went on vacation with her twice. Honestly, I didn't mind.
He said: Some of your cousins are going to Israel for Sukkos, I think you'll have a better time going with them. They didn't invite (sister to join them) so I'll take her along with me now when I'm going for Shavuos. The way he presented it we were all just so excited. Now as an adult I realize it was so that his trip wouldn't be stressful, and that we all have a better time, and sister can get the one on one attention she so desperately needed.
The other time I was a little resentful, but by then I was more mature and dad did offer for me to come along, but I knew that its better not.
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saw50st8
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Mon, Oct 19 2020, 5:49 pm
Different kids have different needs. There are too many variables.
Does your difficult child want to come? Would they prefer a different special thing locally?
I left my younger kids home with DH and traveled with my kids over winter break once they started school.
I once took my older two boys on a quick vacation for their birthdays (tickets were dirt cheap, it came out less than a birthday party). My younger two didn't join us. I planned to take #3 to Florida this year to visit a friend with daughters but COVID.
If your child wants to come and the only reason you are leaving him behind is because he's a sourpuss then you shouldn't do it.
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amother
Ruby
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Mon, Oct 19 2020, 5:51 pm
I’ve never done a vacation but I have taken one child out for a fun day just the two us (I have done this for all my kids). I think it’s important.
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amother
Coral
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Tue, Dec 08 2020, 8:18 am
amother [ Coral ] wrote: | depends on your family.
I would not. My two girls are very close. They would have a fit if I took one over the other. |
bumping this up.
I have two girls that are very close in age (5 and 4).
My dd5 is off for chanuka and I really want to go to hotel just with her.
It's too hard to take my 4 yr old also - she is a hard child.
Is it not fair for me just to take my 5 yr old?
I do not want to go away with all my kids & dh.
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amother
Puce
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Tue, Dec 08 2020, 8:23 am
amother [ Coral ] wrote: | bumping this up.
I have two girls that are very close in age (5 and 4).
My dd5 is off for chanuka and I really want to go to hotel just with her.
It's too hard to take my 4 yr old also - she is a hard child.
Is it not fair for me just to take my 5 yr old?
I do not want to go away with all my kids & dh. |
Yes, it's unfair to take only the 5 year old. Unless you'd do the same with only the 4 year old in the near future.
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lucky14
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Wed, Dec 09 2020, 7:34 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote: | bumping this up.
I have two girls that are very close in age (5 and 4).
My dd5 is off for chanuka and I really want to go to hotel just with her.
It's too hard to take my 4 yr old also - she is a hard child.
Is it not fair for me just to take my 5 yr old?
I do not want to go away with all my kids & dh. |
I think it would not be nice to the 4 year old. I think it could (and probably would) hurt your relationship with her. Can you imagine yourself being the one left behind? Especially at that age. I have a child that age. He would be devastated and so hurt. There is no need to go away with the 5 year old. It's just something fun you want to do. What other fun things could you do instead?
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amother
Brown
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Wed, Dec 09 2020, 7:41 pm
How does your DH feel to also miss a vacation and instead be left to deal with the difficult child all by himself?
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amother
Indigo
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Wed, Dec 09 2020, 9:44 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote: | bumping this up.
I have two girls that are very close in age (5 and 4).
My dd5 is off for chanuka and I really want to go to hotel just with her.
It's too hard to take my 4 yr old also - she is a hard child.
Is it not fair for me just to take my 5 yr old?
I do not want to go away with all my kids & dh. |
Put yourself in the place of the 4 year old. How is she going to feel knowing that Ima took her sister on a fun vacation, but didn't want you along. And she WILL know.
Its not like you're taking the 12 year old who loves art to a museum, but will take the 8 year old somewhere else he enjoys next week. They're only a year apart. Its pretty obvious.
Based on your last sentence, I'm assuming that you have other kids, but you don't want to be with them, or with your husband. I think you need to figure out why that is before it damages your relationship with them, and with your husband.
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