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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Keep an eye on your toddler!
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:13 pm
I was by a friend for Shabbos once. B'H they have a very big family. They entertain a lot, and that day they had another big family over.

At one point my friend looked around and said "Has anyone seen the baby?"

We searched the whole house, but couldn't find her. We searched the back yard, and couldn't find her. Finally we went out front, and she was sitting in the middle of the street!

She had gone out the door, down two flights of steps, and out the main front door. She was barely old enough to walk, but she could reach the doorknobs, and of course none of them were locked.

Everyone was like "Oh, she's fine." and they just picked her up and went back to the meal like nothing had happened. They acted like this happens all the time.
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:14 pm
But, like, what were they supposed to do? Hold a vigil?
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:20 pm
Are you purposely starting another child safety controversial thread???
We need to do our best within normal reason to keep our kids safe. We don't need to keep our kids on a leash. Things happen to kids even if they're constantly watched. We need to do our best.
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weasley




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:20 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
But, like, what were they supposed to do? Hold a vigil?


If that were me I would be shaken!
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:22 pm
What does being shaken accomplish? The child was found safe.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:23 pm
weasley wrote:
If that were me I would be shaken!


That's a personality thing.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:24 pm
B"H, as you said, they have a big family.
People with IF or SIF react differently.
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weasley




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:31 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
What does being shaken accomplish? The child was found safe.


I'm actually surprised at this response.

Being shaken obviously does nothing.

But

A toddler in the middle of the street with noone knowing the child is there could be taken VERY easily into a car or could be knocked very easily by a car.

I'm surprised someone could see their child in such a potentially dangerous situation and not be impacted even just with immense relief!

I never considered myself a extra worrier type of person but hey maybe I'm just over safe?!
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:44 pm
I think it's a bit off that they didn't seem to bat an eyelash. Yes, these things happen and you get desensitized when it's already your 9th kid, but you still get shaken up thinking about all the "what-ifs" once your child is safe and sound. I'm the more anxious type and others are more chilled, I guess. Either way, not for us to judge, but at face value, no, it's not such a great sign to be so chill about finding your baby in the street.
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:46 pm
I don't bat an eyelash publicly. And definitely not in front of my children. I try my best to stay neutral on the outside and then hide and give a quick cry and try to strategize how to sort it out going forward.
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pizzapie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:47 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
B"H, as you said, they have a big family.
People with IF or SIF react differently.

I don't even begin to understand this mindset. Do you really think that people with large families see their children ch"v as replaceable?!?!
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:49 pm
avrahamama wrote:
I don't bat an eyelash publicly. And definitely not in front of my children. I try my best to stay neutral on the outside and then hide and give a quick cry and try to strategize how to sort it out going forward.


I hear. It's really not fair to judge, I guess. We don't know what the parents were feeling on the inside. Probably embarrassed, for one thing, since there were guests over, so I understand trying to play it down.
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pizzapie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:49 pm
I unfortunately know people like this and no it's not okay. I dont think this is a typical response to finding one's child in the middle of the street unsupervised. Bh there was a happy ending but there is no guarantee.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:55 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
But, like, what were they supposed to do? Hold a vigil?



This could easily have been my child.
My kid has left the house completely naked nefore I was even out of bed....

I would be shaken but probably not show it.

Bh the child is ok. You cannot have enough eyes with adventurous mischievous children.

My toddler at 16 months old has broken and outsmarted numerous safety gates (opened them, broken them or found a way to sqeeze thru. He's tiny.) And locks. On yom kippur after dark he had a new first when he escaped our backyard to the front. Bh it was pitch dark there so he had the smarts to come back... But it took litterally less than a minute - while I kissed his sisters booboo for him to disapear. Had I known he can get around that fence I wouldn't have stayed outside after dark or sat in that part of the yard to be within reach.

Did I freak out? No. I just sent up a thank you to Him and ask Him to continuously watch over him.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:56 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
B"H, as you said, they have a big family.
People with IF or SIF react differently.

And of course those are the only two sorts of families.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:57 pm
I was visiting my parents, and my toddler was off in another room playing. After a few minutes I went to check on him and couldn’t find him. We started frantically searching every room in the house for him, and I was getting very nervous. Finally I peeked outside and saw him playing in the yard, with my mother watching him. She hadn’t told us she was taking him out and didn’t realize we were all searching for him. Even though he was perfectly fine, I was shaken up for quite a while. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I had actually found him outside alone.

Of course, you can’t judge other people’s outward reactions. But it’s very normal to be concerned in this situation!
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soap suds




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 2:00 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
What does being shaken accomplish? The child was found safe.
True it doesn’t accomplish anything, but it shows that you realise what a big deal it is and what could’ve happened.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 2:04 pm
OMG. people are so nasty on this forum. How many kids one has is not relevant to how well you take care of them. I've read this on a few threads recently. Disgusting assumption. I know parents of 12 who are so calm and gives personal attention to every child. and I've seen parents of a few neglect their children.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 2:08 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
B"H, as you said, they have a big family.
People with IF or SIF react differently.
Rolling Laughter
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blessedflower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 2:12 pm
When I was a child the brink cars used to pass our street to transport money or diamonds accompanied by two police cars. They always drove very fast in heavy cars, with a lot of sirens.
Once my mom was standing in the kitchen and all of a sudden she heard the sirens very loud. She realized the front door was open. So she ran like crazy only to find my, than, toddler sister standing on the street. My mom literally grabbed her away from the racing police cars. She was so shaken up and realized how dangerous it was that my sister was able to open the front door, so she called a handyman right away and had a lock placed on the door very high up so only an adult or older child could reach
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