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Let's discuss Supernanny



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 5:38 pm
I read one of her books and watched many episodes on you tube. I have learned and been inspired by her, to discipline more, create routines and spend more time with my kids. I see a lot of ppl feel she is too harsh or worse. Would love to have a conversation about it Smile
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 5:40 pm
I used to really like her like 15 years ago. But I do things differently now.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 5:41 pm
While she's very harsh, many of the families she deals with are so dysfunctional and at the brink of collapse that the only way to fix it is by being so harsh. She's probably a last resort to an almost irreparable situation. She's a great marriage counselor & therapist as well. I don't agree with all of her methods though, but in overall, yes, she's a real supernanny!
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 5:42 pm
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
While she's very harsh, many of the families she deals with are so dysfunctional and at the brink of collapse that the only way to fix it is by being so harsh. She's probably a last resort to an almost irreparable situation. She's a great marriage counselor & therapist as well. I don't agree with all of her methods though, but in overall, yes, she's a real supernanny!


I consider her a child whisperer. She's really good at reaching kids and knowing what they need.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 5:48 pm
I find her discipline methods very on cue. I've learned to be a better parent based off of the random bits I found on YouTube. Her stuff really works!

How did she develop her method, that's what I want to know
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 9:13 pm
Rappel wrote:
I find her discipline methods very on cue. I've learned to be a better parent based off of the random bits I found on YouTube. Her stuff really works!

How did she develop her method, that's what I want to know


It seems very behavioral. I'm assuming she took courses in college and together with her natural talent/intuition.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 9:21 pm
I've recently started watching the show . It seems like her method is being firm and consistent with your expectations and discipline but not too harsh. When she leaves the house everyone is calm and happy. I wonder how the families are doing after shes gone.
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studying_torah




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:38 am
I found it very telling that once she had her own baby she was totally lost. She couldn't implement any of her own methods & needed to call in someone else on desperation.
ETA sorry I'm not sure if she has a child , it might have been a similar show w another nanny.

It felt like, she was one of those ppl who can be a perfect mother, without kids.

I found her very judgemental on the show & her methods rediculous.
For example
Put a child back in bed 20 times over and over? And eventually the kid stays?
Sit in time out- I have yet to encounter any child who will remain in time out & not leave the chair.
Or will scream for hours on end & not stop- she doesn't address that.
Etc.
She also never accounts for the family dynamics that might be underlying the issue; which means the method she has successfully used, a parent might not be able to.
I was never impressed with her, sorry.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:46 am
studying_torah wrote:
Put a child back in bed 20 times over and over? And eventually the kid stays?


Have you ever tried it? BH I never needed to, but it might work, I wouldn’t assume it doesn’t


Quote:
Sit in time out- I have yet to encounter any child who will remain in time out & not leave the chair.


My kids stay in time out when they get one. They sit there and cry the whole time.


Quote:
Or will scream for hours on end & not stop- she doesn't address that.


Literally hours on end would not be a neurotypical child.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:49 am
She babysits and sends the parents on a date because happy parents make for better parents.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:53 am
I've used some of her methods with my hardest child (very clingy and whiny in an extreme way) when she was 4-5. It took a few months but it was very helpful and we had a much better relationship after that. It was really amazing to see the difference.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:54 am
Never watched it, but some of those things are totally on target.

Yes, putting a child back into bed 20 times works. It's annoying, it's frustrating, and it's very hard to do it without yelling at the child (which would backfire), but it does work. When my 2 yo twins moved to a toddler bed and kept getting out, I spent the first half hour of each night repeatedly putting them back into bed. Then they stopped doing it.

As far as time out, the Nurtured Heart approach worked for me where standard time out did not.

But I agree about the kids screaming for a long time, some kids are just more intense (mine) and they WILL scream for ages.
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studying_torah




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:55 am
My kids never stayed in time out.

And yes one child around age 3-4 would scream & cry for hours on end. He is still an extremely difficult child.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:15 am
I only saw a few episodes and it was years ago. I remember generally liking her and not thinking she was too harsh -- but she was more cautious than me.

I believe in letting kids do things where they can get hurt, as long as it's not badly hurt. So I'd never let a kid play with fire, but I'd let them skate on concrete wearing shorts and no knee pads (I'd advise them to wear knee pads, but let them make their own decision). I can't remember what it was, but she forbid a child from doing something like that. Most people would probably agree with her, but different strokes for different folks.
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ChanieMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:55 am
Don't forget it's a reality show, and there are really x people around that you cannot see, like the cameramen, etc...

I like her (you mean Jo Frost, don't you?), but you cannot tell how "true" or "authentic" what you see is...

This said, I like that show tells how far a combination of authority and empathy can go with a child...

I find it astonishing how children (or youths) open up to people who want to listen to them...

I don't support the practice of time-out, which is preached very much on this show, but I like many other techniques on there, like organising activities for the children, going shopping without stress, etc...
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:07 am
studying_torah wrote:

I found her very judgemental on the show & her methods rediculous.
For example
Put a child back in bed 20 times over and over? And eventually the kid stays?
Sit in time out- I have yet to encounter any child who will remain in time out & not leave the chair.
Or will scream for hours on end & not stop- she doesn't address that.
Etc.
She also never accounts for the family dynamics that might be underlying the issue; which means the method she has successfully used, a parent might not be able to.
I was never impressed with her, sorry.

Actually, I've found putting a kid back in bed over and over again, calmly and silently, is the perfect method. And my kids have always done very well in time out. In fact, the putting-the-child-back-20-times method is also how I got them to learn to stay in time out (time out was a new method to be, my parents had never done it for me, but it was through the Supernanny show that I learned and found it was the perfect practice for my children. She's the one who helped me see it really is just a quiet moment for parents and kids alike to calm down and reflect on their behavior, and she taught me it was so important to talk with the child to sum up the whole situation after each time out session, and of course to remind them that I love them no matter how they behave).

I also find she does indeed do a lot for family dynamics. She encourages the family to spend quality time together, for the parents to focus on their children more. Quite often, it's the lack of proper, beneficial attention that is the reason behind many of the families' behavioral issues.
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