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Chizuk needed



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:04 am
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:22 am
Oy, that must be really hard to come to terms with that diagnosis. You sound like a great mom being proactive and trying to help your son succeed.

I dont have personal information about this, but as a professional who deals with autism please know that an autism diagnosis isn't limiting your son in regard to where he can get to. Funnily someone once told me that parents would rather have an autism diagnosis which they feel their child can later have removed once the skills are learned and generalized than get an ADD diagnosis. To each their own, but it did show me that there is hope. Please though make sure your BCBA is competent and don't just blindly trust she has the experience and knowledge she needs.

You mentioned that you are getting 3 hours of ABA. Do you live in the states? If yes, your son should qualify for a lot more hours than that. I recommend using them and pushing those hours when he is young as much as possible. Oh, and don't just stop when most but not everything was addressed. If you arent in the states find out what they are working on, be super involved and try to make sure he gets lots of opportunities out of those sessions to ikplement with you. Ask for yourself to be trained if necessary so that your son can get more consistency.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:26 am
Hi - no it's not a death sentence at all!

I'd do more research into ABA many people say it does more harm then good - you are forcing the child to not do things that comfort him or help him express himself. Other therapies help him learn better ways to do those things without taking away what he knows so abruptly, which can really hurt him.

I am diagnosed with high functioning ASD. Most people I tell don't even believe me. As a child I was given a lot of therapy and went to social skills classes and group social skill therapy along with my sister who also has ASD.

I didn't even have to disclose my ASD to my DH when dating, our Rav concluded that as long as I'm open and honest about the behaviors and difficulties I have - does it really matter if there's an official name for it?

I struggle with sometimes coming across as too blunt or insensitive (but not more than the average person I'm told by others), overwhelmed more easily than others, feeling all my emotions more strongly, and just the general feeling of having my brain process and look at the world differently than others.

I have lots of friends, and I am successful. I found out after getting engaged DH was also diagnosed. (He found out after getting engaged). I guess our value for honestly and realness is one of the traits of ASD and is what connected us to each other as well.

ASD can be summarized as a different way of thinking and traits. It's different - not wrong. Just like people with ADHD. ASD people are loving, creative, honest, real, and can fully be successful in life. Many people enjoy the openess and realness of the people in their life who have ASD.

Every kid is different so I can't give you expectations. All I can say is as a parent you should love him and accept him unconditionally and not try to put him into a normal box. Let him be who he is - focus on helping and teaching him to learn the rules of the world around him without telling him he is blemished or incapable or made wrong.

He will be quirky and different - but we all are different and G-d made him this way. Like I said there are many traits and ways of looking at the world people with ASD have that enhance their lives. You need to embrace the different and still help him understand that he needs to be socially appropriate and learn the rules of the world.

And he will find people who love him for him. Because he is different - not learn to love the parts of him you have molded to be "normal".

If he needs to do what you consider strange things to express himself, flap his hands or something, that's not something you should tell him to stop doing. You can teach him to do it privately or with people who understand him and not in public.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:30 am
HUGS! I can relate. I think that you need support. Please share with some close people, maybe even a therapist. Hiding is a normal reaction but tends to backfire in the long run. It gets easier with time.
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