Therapists: Howling instead of talking

amother

Thu, Oct 22 2020, 1:22 pm

I have this child staying with us for the past few months because of an unfortunate situation. It seems to me that she is somewhat on the spectrum but I am not the mom and don't have authority to get her evaluated.
Are there any therapists on here who can guide me how to get this child to express her feelings instead of shrieking about every silly thing? I explained it many times but she stares at me blankly...

I would also love to know how to get through to her if she refuses touch.

Thank you so much in advance!

Rappel

Thu, Oct 22 2020, 2:02 pm

I'm not a therapist, so treat my two cents as subjective and amateurish, which they are:

1) Is there anything which does help her calm her emotions? Drinking water? A favourite blankie she sleeps with? A hug?

If you have a key which she likes to calm down to, then when she starts throwing a fit, can you ask her "would you like blankie?" She may nod through the screams. "You can go get blankie." If she's not able to do that, then it may be worth bringing the blankie to her.

It's not ideal that she's dependent on something external for emotional regulation, but it may teach her that she has the power to regulate her emotions, and that she can seek a solution when she's overwhelmed. Once you have that pathway, you can work from there to build up more stable emotional tools.

2) another option for regulating emotions is location based, not object based. If she's losing it, you can tell her: "I see you're having trouble focusing right now. I'm going to take you to your bed so you can have some quiet time and feel better. When you feel like you're ready to talk, you can come off your bed and we'll talk." Feel free to give her a book or a toy to occupy her and help her focus on her bed. But do not let her move from that spot while she's still screaming and crying. Firmly, quietly, move her back to her focus spot until she understands that she's there until she is rational again. The first time you do this, you'll probably have to keep putting her back. The second time, fewer times. Eventually, she may choose to escape to her safe space on her own when she feels overwhelmed. The pros of this method are that she develops a space of her own where she feels safe and can let it all out while she's mastering herself. She also isn't disrupting the rest of the family by tantruming in the living room. The cons of this method are that the initial training is very intensive.

Mommy1:)

Thu, Oct 22 2020, 2:18 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Could be something not sensory. Especially if it's a young child, separation from family and not wanting to be touched and struggling to communicate can be a sign of an attachment disorder, a child struggling with a trauma history.

Play therapy with a child therapist or psychologist who is experienced with attachment and trauma is important.