How has these lockdowns affected your teen?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 12:07 pm

I feel like the teens are the most at risk. Too much free time, no structure etc... Has there been an increase in teens going off the derech?

amother

Royalblue

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 4:32 pm

I agree this is most difficult on the teens & young adults group.

amother

Plum

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 4:37 pm

I wasn’t nervous about my son going OTD but I definitely had concerns about the lack of learning and too much free time. That was last year in 8th grade. Now in 9th, if he has to stay home, his yeshiva provides a lot more learning and online class. Emotionally, it actually didn’t affect him at all bh and he liked being home.

My preteen daughter on the other hand had a very difficult time not seeing her friends. She was a changed person when we allowed her to start socializing in person again.

I feel there can be a lot of positive about spending time together as a family. Even if they were watching more than I’d have preferred, I tried to have us watch something together so that it became a family activity.

amother

White

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 4:51 pm

I wouldn't worry about otd, I'd be worried about mental illness. Lockdown has been proven to cause massive spikes in mental illness among all age groups, and teens are particularly vulnerable when it comes to mental illness in general.

amother

Azure

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 11:53 am

I'm 30 and don't have teens, but I've been hurt very much myself but would have been hurt a lot more between ages 16 - 23 . Chesed Shel hashem that I wasn't that age when this happened.

The lockdowns are a huge mistake and in the long run cause much more harm than any good that they might cause by postponing a few deaths.

amother

Slategray

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 11:59 am

My perfectly healthy teen sister is on antidepressants now. She is the only child still at home and it has gotten to much for her the isolation

amother

Seashell

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 1:58 pm

I think teens should be allowed free access to whatsapp and facebook in these times, or whatever social media they are using. It allows them to keep in close contact with their friends and prevents them from becoming depressed.

Speaking as a mom of teens.

amother

Lime

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 4:45 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

It does? I can't speak for teens, but I've had free access to WhatsApp and whatever other social media I use, and as an essential worker I've been going out every day, and it hasn't stopped me from teetering on the edge of depression all summer. The only thing that has kept me going has been fairly intensive therapy - in person, not via zoom.

Social media can help take the edge off things, but can't make up for real, in person contact with friends.

amother

Emerald

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 5:00 pm

Just sent my daughter away to family member for a month to help with her kids as she was going nuts at home no friends in the area as school is 45 minutes away plus being one of the younger children of the family no responsibility so she was on phone to much best thing we are doing for her hopefully she wil catch up with her studies while she's there

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 12:05 am

My teens loved being home. No early wake ups for minyan, no school till 8:30 pm. They thrived.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 12:33 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

My teens loved being home. No early wake ups for minyan, no school till 8:30 pm. They thrived.

Mine too. But they’re having a hard time filling a schedule now, obeying rules etc

amother

Coral

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 1:24 am

My naturally upbeat teen is snapping at everyone, and is miserable even though before lockdown she was a homebody who loved nothing more than reading and drawing. She feels trapped, bored, and had what seemed to be an anxiety attack before Shabbos.

My other teen, an extroverted, social girl full of self esteem now feels unsure about her friendships and herself, spending hours looking at herself in the mirror and declaring herself ugly and needing to lose weight.

Sure, we are hanging in there, and sure, we can be resilient because this is not the worst thing in the world, but it's pretty bad, and to my mind, has zero redeeming features. Lockdown will be remembered as a big, ugly mistake, one with repercussions that will linger for years.

amother

Coral

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 1:30 am

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

Every family has to do what works for them, but I am just as strict about that stuff as I always was, because I am very cautious about starting something that will be very hard to dial back post lockdown. My kids do not have social media or WhatsApp. Instead, I do my best to be there for my teens, play games with them, do projects, read the same books to discuss, and encourage good old fashioned phone calls and SD get togethers.its challenging because they are not the only ones home, and I am a WAHM, but I try to keep my eyes on the future....

amother

Coral

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 1:40 am

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

Well said! Agreed! I feel the same....both about the teetering on the edge of depression, and how social media seems to help, but is no substitute at all for the real thing. I actually went off of every social media platform I've been on since lockdown with the exception of occasionally going on Imamother and keeping whatsapp only for family because I live in a different country than my siblings. They gave me a false sense of socializing, leaving me feel emptier than ever when I signed off.

Edited to add: Social media, etc, started off work related, which is why I had accounts but my kids do not.

Jewishmom8

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 1:41 am

My teens are having a very hard time.
The lack of schedule and structure is very hard on them.

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