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What's it Like Going to a Wedding Now in Your Community
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Oct 24 2020, 7:53 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I don’t understand.
At this point everyone has to fend for themselves. If you feel that u cannot get sick then do not go to weddings of simchas. I’m not saying don’t go to the grocery store or out to buy essentials but if you’re so upset by what’s going on and feel so strongly that the weddings are wrong DONT GO!
There are people out there- myself included- that already got the virus and are ready to resume life and you know what if I get sick again so be it. I’ll get over it. I will not live like we did back pesach time again. It’s not the solution. Life must go on we’re ruining more lives than we are saving bec of the way it’s being dealt with.
Basically what I’m saying is you have to make the decision for yourself. If you’re gonna be upset seeing the weddings and the girls and boys dancing bsimcha then you don’t belong there. No excuses. Period.


This is not about going back to the way we lived pesach time. There is no mention of shut downs like we had at that time. I agree that will ruin many lives with no real benefit.
I used to think like you, but now that reinfection is really happening, it's a game changer. The people who had it in March will soon lose their protection, and we need to be cautious again. No need to panic, just need to be smart.
If you're OK with getting sick, Im not here to change your mind. The problem is you don't live in a cave. These gatherings allow the virus to find new hosts and replicate. It creates a petri dish for the virus to continue to exist in our community. You can be a vector even with antibodies.
If you knew for sure that wearing your mask would save some lives wouldn't you do it? The problem is many chose to deny it. Denial is a natural coping technique.
It's not just about me or you. A pandemic by definition affects the whole world. We can each make a contribution to the greater good. Every person makes a difference.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sat, Oct 24 2020, 8:02 pm
Everybody does what they feel is right.
Some have reg weddings some ask for people to wear masks. You can chose to go or not go. What others do is not anybody’s business.
Can all of you stop bashing and judging what others are doing!
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 7:46 am
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
Everybody does what they feel is right.
Some have reg weddings some ask for people to wear masks. You can chose to go or not go. What others do is not anybody’s business.
Can all of you stop bashing and judging what others are doing!


Yes this is exactly the attitude we need!
The lack of achdus right now is sad and scary.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 8:12 am
IN NY:

Weddings have been going on regularly since June.
5 whole months.

Don’t you think if there were still a real threat a huge wave would’ve long happened already?
How long will you hold onto this panic and not live life?

All of you davening to Hashem, he listened to your prayers a long time ago. Our politicians are the only ones who are keeping the Covid panic going.


And before you attack me that you know this one or that one who died, yes I know, and it’s horrible, but at some point, when cases are low enough, we have to go back to normal.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 8:18 am
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
Yes this is exactly the attitude we need!
The lack of achdus right now is sad and scary.

I agree with you 100%.
I started this thread to share my thoughts, and start a discussion. Clearly, I think masks are important, so I wanted to put it out there. If you have a different opinion, feel free to share it. No bashing or disrespect. Just tell us why, and we can discuss. This kind of discussion can actually bring more understanding and respect for one another.
Achdus doesn't mean we need to agree, we do need to respect each other.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 8:19 am
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
Everybody does what they feel is right.
Some have reg weddings some ask for people to wear masks. You can chose to go or not go. What others do is not anybody’s business.
Can all of you stop bashing and judging what others are doing!


You can’t just choose not to go to a family member’s wedding, and it’s sucks that no one cares.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 8:24 am
We would not go based on our particular health category; however, we do not want to bring everyone down to the lowest common denominator which unlike around purim is now unecessary B”H
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 8:52 am
I just don’t go in order for the kallah to be able to invite more friends.
25 ppl max
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Mothers




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 8:54 am
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
Everybody does what they feel is right.
Some have reg weddings some ask for people to wear masks. You can chose to go or not go. What others do is not anybody’s business.
Can all of you stop bashing and judging what others are doing!


What if someone who “chose not to go” gets infected by someone who “chose to go?” Unfortunately, because this is an infectious disease, what an individual does can affect others, and therefore may become their business (whether they wanted it to be - or not). Saying שלי שלי, ושלך שלך (I.e. I’ll do mine you, do yours . . .) can be מידת סדום . . .
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 8:59 am
amother [ Ginger ] wrote:
You can’t just choose not to go to a family member’s wedding, and it’s sucks that no one cares.

You would chose not to go if you feel strongly enough about it.
It’s not that no one cares, we care to try to bring Life, weddings and schools back to as normal as possible. There is no proof that all this is making a difference so why should people blindly follow rules when they see no use. They are following the guidance of their schools, shuls and local politicians!
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:02 am
Mothers wrote:
What if someone who “chose not to go” gets infected by someone who “chose to go?” Unfortunately, because this is an infectious disease, what an individual does can affect others, and therefore may become their business (whether they wanted it to be - or not). Saying שלי שלי, ושלך שלך (I.e. I’ll do mine you, do yours . . .) can be מידת סדום . . .

If you chose not to go and stay home how can you be infected by anybody who chose to go?
If your scared of exposure you shouldn’t be going anywhere! Don’t go to work, the grocery or anywhere and make sure the rest of your family does the same. If that’s how you want to live your life you can. But don’t stop others from living theirs.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:07 am
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
You would chose not to go if you feel strongly enough about it.
It’s not that no one cares, we care to try to bring Life, weddings and schools back to as normal as possible. There is no proof that all this is making a difference so why should people blindly follow rules when they see no use. They are following the guidance of their schools, shuls and local politicians!


Riddle me this.
You have a married 24 year old daughter, and now your 22 year old son (with whom she is very very close) is getting married. 24 year old daughter has no intentions of getting and spreading Covid. She works in a nursing home, and she’s also a bit concerned about the long lasting effects of Covid for herself, even though she is young and healthy. But she wants her kids to have a healthy mom a bunch of years down the line, too. She has no antibodies, and neither does her husband. Her 2 kids will not be attending because she doesn’t need people holding/kissing/breathing all over them.
Can 24 year old daughter miss her brother’s wedding?
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:09 am
Families DO have the choice to make small SD masked outdoor weddings etc. And if they refuse to do so for whatever the reason then she can make the choice to do what works for her like go to the outdoor chupah and stay away from any closer or riskier "festivities". Tough times demand tough choices. Not easy. Definitely doable. Or she can take a leave of absence from work for two weeks. She has choices and like every functioning adult can make them. Communication is key and achdus. Control yourself not everyone else. The only thing that works.
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amother
Green


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:17 am
amother [ Ginger ] wrote:
You can’t just choose not to go to a family member’s wedding, and it’s sucks that no one cares.

You can go with a mask at reception before it gets crowded and people start to sing and dance. Once people start dancing the air is putrid dangerous.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:24 am
amother [ Green ] wrote:
You can go with a mask at reception before it gets crowded and people start to sing and dance. Once people start dancing the air is putrid dangerous.


I agree. I stayed for pictures, outdoor chuppah, and I danced with the kallah for 30 second. The rest of the wedding I was hiding in the groom’s suite. My mother was livid.
But guess what?? I was one of the lucky guests who walked away unscathed and Covid free 😎
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Fave




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:25 am
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Garbage bags on the windows, lights closed at the door.
Otherwise, BUSINESS as usual.


Same
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Mothers




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:28 am
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
You would chose not to go if you feel strongly enough about it.
It’s not that no one cares, we care to try to bring Life, weddings and schools back to as normal as possible. There is no proof that all this is making a difference so why should people blindly follow rules when they see no use. They are following the guidance of their schools, shuls and local politicians!


Life going back to “normal” may be impossible when times are not “normal.” During a pandemic, focus should be on keeping everyone as safe as possible, while still having weddings, shuls, schools, shopping, etc. I don’t think anyone wants things to be closed, but ignoring that people are dying as a result of a disease, which was passed on to them by someone else (however unknowingly), in the name of keeping life “normal” is very hard for me to understand. Wearing masks, social distancing, limiting crowds, holding events outside (when possible), etc. can keep people safe, as well as keep things open.

Saying “If someone catches COVID at my simcha (or shul, or school, or store, etc.) and dies - well it’s their own fault, because they should have stayed home . . .” is an unacceptable attitude to me and very hard for me to understand . . . Focusing only having everything “normal” puts a lot of pressure on others and seems to me like digging a בור ברשות הרבים, and then saying if someone falls in, that it was their own fault, because they should have stayed home . . .
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Mommyg8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:


<snip>

With all the confusion about covid-19, doctors all agree that we are far from reaching herd immunity. In addition, as we move further away from the onset of this pandemic, the reinfection rate is seemingly increasing. If we continue to allow the virus to spread, many people will get infected. Some will be mildly sick, others more seriously ill, some may be left with long-term chronic conditions, and still others will pay with their life. Due to more knowledge and better treatments available, less people may die, but how many deaths should we ignore? Are we not the nation that values every single life above anything else? It is our Torah that has taught us that nothing is more valuable than life itself.



First of all, it does seem that certain subgroups of communities have some form of herd immunity. You see it by the numbers. But to quote SouthernBubby "herd immunity only works if you stay in the herd"! Weddings by their very nature are mixing communities and that DOES seem to be a problem.

As for the reinfection rate, when I went for testing the doctor I saw said that he, personally, has never seen a reinfection. So it's still very rare. As for what will happen in the future, we don't know, but we can't live our life in constant fear (just take common sense precautions).
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:32 am
I read in the news that just under 50% of Americans fully keep the guidelines and 100K lives could be saved by February if 95% complied. American hospitals are filling up and some can't accept more people.
Of course simchas are our lives but we have a really scary reality out there.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:39 am
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
IN NY:

Weddings have been going on regularly since June.
5 whole months.

Don’t you think if there were still a real threat a huge wave would’ve long happened already?
How long will you hold onto this panic and not live life?

All of you davening to Hashem, he listened to your prayers a long time ago. Our politicians are the only ones who are keeping the Covid panic going.


And before you attack me that you know this one or that one who died, yes I know, and it’s horrible, but at some point, when cases are low enough, we have to go back to normal.


Are you really not aware of the uptick in your community?
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