Commuting year | Imamother

amother

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 4:22 pm

My husband and I want to make Aliyah eventually, but by the time he’d be ready to walk away from his job in the states, our kids would be teenagers. I’d love for our kids to get the experience of living in Israel and learning the language while they are still relatively young so we’ve been talking about trying out commuting for a period of time. Aim for an entire school year and see how it goes. Has anyone done anything like this? Can we send our kids to school in Israel for just a year? Obviously we are talking about post Covid issues.

Elfrida

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 5:22 pm

The plan being that you and the children would stay in Israel for approximately a year, and your husband would go back and forth as necessary? Its doable. I know people who came with that plan - but they ended up staying. Its only really practical while they are young, before languages and different educational tracks become an issue. If you work, what would happen to your job over that year?

You might also need to speak to their schools in America about retaining the places for when you come back.

I'm not sure about the details of applying to school (or if you would have to pay, as a non-citizen), but your first priority would be to decide on a neighbourhood and the school you want to send to, then speak to them. Whole you're not talking about aliyah at this stage, Nefesh b'Nefesh could still be a valuable resource.

natella

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 5:35 pm

Thank you for responding. Yes. That’s the idea. The issues you brought up aren’t a problem for us. I don’t have a job and our kids school will always have space for them because we’re in a small community. I’m more concerned about how difficult commuting would be. I know people do it, but I don’t really understand how they make it work.
Also my oldest is 9. Is that already a difficult age? My parents live in Jerusalem but I’m not sure if it would be easier or harder to be close to them. I’d love to hear from someone who has done the commuting thing to understand how they made it work.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 7:04 pm

We didn't do the commuting thing but I live in a community where it's common. It's doable, but you're on your own a lot, just as your kids need a lot of emotional support. So you have to know what you're getting into, and it helps to get friendly with other moms in your situation.

You'll have a great advantage in having your parents around. Nine is definitely not too old for most kids to adjust.

To the poster who answered, nefesh bnefesh is there to help olim, not families coming for a year without making aliya. Free school is free whether or not you are a citizen.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Oct 26 2020, 1:52 am

There are many anglos who commute for their entire working life after making aliyah.
It is doable. But as the other poster said, you have to know that you are going to be alone, without a spouse, a lot. And your spouse has to be ok with that.

I know a family where the father commuted for a good almost 30 years. Its very doable. You just have to know what you are getting into. As do your kids. They have to know that it will just be ema/mommy for most of that year.

And 9 is definitely not too old. But I would already get hebrew lessons so that its not jumping into the deep end of the pool in terms of hebrew. For many it takes a few months to get the hebrew down pat and to loose a few months of school because of the hebrew and then go back a few months later would be a great shame.

salt

Mon, Oct 26 2020, 2:15 am

It's definitely doable. It could be an amazing experience if you live in an area with like-families, and support.
When you say, you'd be able to come back permanently, when your kids are teenagers, do you mean about 10 years from now.
If so, I'm not sure how many of your kids will really remember their Hebrew by then. eg. a 5 year old, would pick it up pretty quickly in gan, and probably intergrate easily, but when he comes back at 15, I'm not sure how much that 1 year will have helped him.
If you mean that you'll come for a year, with a possibility of staying, then definitely, the younger the better.

natella

Mon, Oct 26 2020, 10:21 am

Yes. Maybe ten years from now.
I think my 8 year old has pretty decent Hebrew instruction in her school. Between that and the exposure I’m trying to give them at home with Israeli kids songs/videos plus trying to use some common phrases together regularly I’m hoping we could build on the foundation they’ll get from that immersion year.
I suppose there is the possibility of staying, but I don’t want to get my hopes up so I’m being pessimistic and assuming commuting will be too hard for us to continue long term.
Does anyone know of areas in Jerusalem that might be relatively easier for us?

heidi

Mon, Oct 26 2020, 11:12 am

My husband commuted for the first 10 years after we made aliyah.
I live in a community where many people commute. I had lots of support when he wasn't around- my friends husbands would come fix the computer etc., shabbat meals with other families whose husbands were away etc.
Very doable, especially considering the benefits of constant influx of American products, American salary etc.
OP, you didn't ask, so feel free to ignore, but I think the idea of a year trial period is a really bad idea.
It takes a really long time for kids to adjust to a new language, culture, country. It's a difficult and unsettling period.
In my opinion not worth doing that to your kids unless they'll benefit in the long term by living here.
בהצלחה

Last edited by heidi on Mon, Oct 26 2020, 11:15 am; edited 1 time in total