STOP PRESSING THE THERAPY BUTTON,PLEASE!!!!!

amother

Slategray

Mon, Oct 26 2020, 6:37 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

There is actually very little evidence that therapy is helpful in most cases. Certain therapies have been proven to help with certain disorders, but many types of therapy operate without evidence that they help.

I am 99.9% certain you are referring to non-licensed practitioners or those who are licensed in nontraditional therapies.

There are a wide range of clinically studied therapies that are proven to be effective.

jerusalem90

Mon, Oct 26 2020, 8:05 pm

I feel like a lot of time people don't need therapy, they need support from their friends, family, colleagues, bosses, etc, but instead of supporting them, their friends/family say "go get therapy" and that is sad.

A lot of the time what a person craves is validation, and it davka will count a lot more from the people who aren't paid to give it to you.

A lot of the time what a person craves is a hug, and even if a therapist gives that it would be a poor substitute for a hug from friends/family.

Also telling someone who cant afford therapy to get therapy is a$$anine. Similar to telling someone who is stressed out "oh, you just need to take a month off work and stay at a five star hotel in Cancun".

amother

Slategray

Mon, Oct 26 2020, 8:12 pm

jerusalem90 wrote:

Most people on Imamother will not recommend therapy for those who need validation. Yes, a selfish friend or family member may make such a comment in place of validating, but that's not what the "therapy button" on Imamother is at all.

Incidentally, the word is asinine and is not considered a rude word, regardless of its root word a$$.

Most insurances cover therapy at a clinic. I am currently extremely happy with my trauma therapist at a clinic.

jerusalem90

Tue, Oct 27 2020, 5:34 am

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

What do you mean by "cover"? If it's free or even $15 an hour, that's one thing. If it's $50 an hour with insurance instead of $200 an hour without insurance, I'd still consider that unaffordable for myself, and so would many others.

Very interesting about "asinine".

amother

Coral

Tue, Oct 27 2020, 5:59 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

OP, are you also against 12 Step programs?

What about antidepressants?

If your life is perfect, good for you. Don't look down on those of us who are trying to improve ourselves and become better people.

It's not about that. A lot of people, myself included, have tried therapy and not had it help them at all, just take some of their money in exchange for false hope and later disappointment. So if I complain about my emotional health and someone says "go get therapy", been there, done that, didn't help, so what I hear is "get out of my hair, be someone else's problem".

If therapy works for you, I'm happy for you

LovesHashem

Tue, Oct 27 2020, 6:08 am

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

I've been to bad therapists too. It's not fun. But I eventually got to meet some really good ones who really helped me.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Oct 27 2020, 6:30 am

I truly believe that many therapists out there (who take away loads of your money) are amazing and life changing.
My experience was: I saw a therapist in a popular clinic, she was considered a great therapist.
At one point when I was in alot of pain from abuse, furst session she just took my background information. Thereafter she listened to me, kept saying mhmmmm... wow, I hear you... this must be soooo painful... so what do you think you should do?
Looked at her watch and said session is over.
I always want away crying, still in same pain. Didn't help my situation.
When my husband lost his job, we were struggling financially, I said how hard the situation is, many people mentioned I need therapy.
Hello, will a therapist help us out financially? or will he rob our last cent with talking? Or just letting me talk?
When I'm depressed about a difficult situation, I don't need talk. I need physical help. He won't change our situation.
We once had a SB issue due to struggling financially. People recommended: Therapy!
I convinced my DH to come. He took off from work, traveled in to that TOP 'Therapist', who took all information, did nothing to help us, he validated our emotions and sent us off with a bill off $400!
Hello????

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Oct 27 2020, 7:38 am

I womder if it has to do with personality type or how open you are to therapy. I can only speak for myself. But I've gone to one therapist for myself, she's amazing and she helped me turn my life around.

We also recently started marriage counseling and again, he is really making a difference.

They both cost a lot of money that we don't have, but my sanity and our marriage is more important.

The people close to me who told me to go to therapy, they said it 100% for my sake. Some are even chipping in to help pay for it.

amother

Linen

Tue, Oct 27 2020, 7:59 am

Lots of issues are just dealing with life, and life is hard also in these times with lots of pressure and striving for perfection.
I kinda agree with OP, there are issues which are there because you can go through life without pain, disappointments, and any hardships..

The same with pain in the leg, if you have that much pain you can't move anymore then you need to get help as soon as possible, but you don't rush to the ER with a strained muscle. However, in this society we kinda believe if you work hard enough everyone can achieve the same goal which is not true. Not everyone bocher in a yeshivish family wants to dedicate his life to Kodesh. Some of one want to go to college and that is ok, but if that means the community is like ''oh he just balebatish, he will not get good shidduch suggestions...'' then it is the society self who needs help.

Also there is in the frum community lots of therapists who are not licensed and give dangerous advice. My mil goes to a rov for medical/psychiatric questions instead of a doctor and truly beliefs taking on kabbalos will help you get over things. This is happening a lot what I hear and I don't like that. We need to take seriously that life is hard and that we all carry a peckel.

That does not mean that lots of people need to have therapy or has lots of help from therapy, the thing is not every little thing is for therapy when it eats you and you have troubeling functioning then you should go to therapy. By a licensed therapy.

Btw in the secular, I had twice very bad therapists. One was totally not knowledgeable in DCD, and because of my weird motor skills and everything she thought I was schizophrenic (I was barely 11 Can't Believe It

) bh my parents went to a special institution who gave me the right diagnosis. Another one adviced me not to date my now husband because I was still looking to be frum and should not date someone who is already orthodox... Bh I knocked it off and wrote a hard worded letter to the chef d'' clinique and I married my husband bh. Therapy is not without risks...