3 year old son - scared to have a bowel movement in toilet

amother

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 4:39 pm

we started toilet training my son 6 months ago. He was doing well, all of it in the toilet, almost not missing. Then I had a baby, so it all went down the drain, back to diapers. a few weeks later we tried again. 2 weeks before his 3rd birthday, he refused to have a bowel movement in the toilet, he's scared, he got extremely constipated, went to hospital...doctor said forgot toilet training for now until he's better. Now he's not constipated anymore and back on diapers. so he'll pee in the toilet any time but if he needs to poop he asks for a diaper and he'll scream that "it hurts" if I put him on the toilet. I don't understand why it hurts to poop in the toilet but not in his diaper? He's not scared to sit on the toilet cause he pees in there all the time. What to do? did anyone go through similar situation that has good advice?
I sat with him in the bathroom for a half an hour reading stories, blowing balloons, when it started to come out and he had to push, he freaked out and held it in and jumped off.

gonewiththewind

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 5:34 pm

I'm going through the same thing now with my 3 year old son, and he was refusing to do the dirty thing. So I still put a diaper on him at night and somehow he has scheduled himself to have a bowel movement every night. He seems to be coming out of it on his own and has twice had bowel movements on the toilet, but this is after months of going in his diaper at night. I hope soon to try without the diaper at night.

shopaholic

Fri, Dec 21 2007, 8:52 am

Quote:

This is me exactly. DS was trained at 33 months. He still has not doen a BM in the toilet. His body is trained to wait until nighttime to do it in his diaper. If we forget to put a diaper on him & he goes to bed, he relaxes & does it in his PJ's thinking he's wearing a diaper.

I asked the Dr at his well visit & she said it's normal so I'm not worrying.

rachel19977

Tue, Dec 25 2007, 4:18 pm

Having this problem with ds!

He was doing well, potty trained a month before he was 3 in August. Would miss, but now it's already December. For about this past month, suddenly he wouldn't poop anymore in the toilet. It started in Gan. He'd poop in his pants, and I'd have to come and change him. We tried bribery, not working.

It's getting very embarrasing since they only allow toliet trained kids in his Gan, getting scared they will kick him out! And also hard and run back to Gan and change him w/o being able to shower him. They take him to bathroom with all other kids, but he says he doesn't need to go. 5 min later - whoopsie!

Hope this goes away soon it's hard to get to the Gan and change him almost every day! Was trying to night train but that went down the drain, washing all sheets, blankets, pillow every day in Israel is not fun when you don't have a dryer. Back to diapers at night!

Has anyone else been thru this?

rachel19977

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 4:59 am

It's hard having to go to the Gan and change him all the time.

Asked my sister who works as a Assistant Teacher for 2-4 year olds in Far Rockway, said bribe him, like buy a toy he really wants, let him hold the box and then take it away and let him see it once in a while till he does the poop a couple of times in school. Or, bribe with candy.

As of yesterday, special candy didn't work. His eyes lit up when I asked if he would like Gum. SO I left a stick of gum with the ganennet today. Don't think I'll know an answer till tomorrow, cuz he does it every other day....

Sis also said, stay with ds the day you know he needs to do it in Gan/school. Don't leave till he pooped on the toilet there. That's also hard when theres other kids at home, and you work! Hopefully I'll be able to do it soon.

I still don't get it why the Gan won't change him! They actually did it yesterday cuz I wasn't able to come in AT ALL! But sent home the Entire POOP IN THE UNDERWARE for ME to throw out in MY toilet - why couldn't they throw out the poop there? Odd.

zigi

Wed, Jan 09 2008, 4:21 pm

ds taught himself he was totally trained for #1 but not 2 he would come home with dirty pants almost every day, I put him in diapers for when he went to gan and when he was home no pants. when we were home in the summer he went around with out anything and he finally made in the potty, he still doesn't go in school, he sits on the potty when he comes home, or goes in the early morning in his diaper, because he isn't totally dry overnight, good luck! basically as soon as it was left up to him without any pressure he made the breakthrough,
I gave up training overnight with out a diaper we don't have a machine we have to go to the laundromat, so now we say wow your diaper is dry!!!

rachel19977

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 5:22 pm

Well it has gotten WAY better B"H!!!

Tried the bribe way... First it was toffee, which didn't work, cuz it wasn't "Special" enough.

What worked? GUM!

We promised DS Gum, if he went #2 in the bathroom in school & home.

Took him to Gan the next day, and in front of the teacher and assistant, announced with a proud voice to them with DS looking, that he will get this Fizz candy if he goes #2 in the Gan, and left it on shelf for Teacher to give to him ONLY if he does #2 in the bathroom. It didn't work the first day, but the SECOND day when I added a stick of GUM to the prize... Third day he didn't have any, but Fourth day - Wow did that work! Proud little boy marched over to me and proud Teachers assistant proudly announced DS did #2 in bathroom!!!

And it happend AGAIN, at home and in Gan, no more in the pants!

He'll ask me if he goes #2 anywhere if he'll get gum again. Since this just only started, he'll be getting Gum again if does it again? So far yes, it's been good. Sometimes he forgets he needs to get a prize, and we don't give him.

What also worked, lets say if DS happend to do #2 at home that day and not in Gan, and by the time he was out of bathroom he forgot he needed his Gum, I reminded him when I put him to bed that he did such a good job, would you like your gum now? But, you can't eat it till tomorrow. He sure was a good boy and stayed in bed holding onto that stick of gum till the next day and only ate it till AFTER breakfast!

We were debating on having to buy a big prize like a big ticket toy, which worked for my sisters DS, he was allowed to look at the toy, but not play or open it, and it worked for him. Maybe this idea will help one of you!

Well B"H for that and I hope it all works out for everyone else!!

shopaholic

Wed, Jan 30 2008, 11:42 am

I'm bumping this up again. As I mentioned earlier, DS is like a clock. He does #2 only at night in his diaper. After he woke us up 2 nights in a row to change him because he was sore, I decided to keep him up last night until he did it in a toilet or the potty. At 8:45 he was crying that he's tired so I had to put him to bed. He was dirty in the morning & now his teacher called saying his diaper rash is bad & bleeding.

What am I going to do? A friend suggested a high fiber diet (which won't work because he's so picky) or a suppository. I'm going to the pharmacy soon to buy some.

rachel19977

Wed, Jan 30 2008, 3:04 pm

Prune juice maybe?

Did you talk to DS about it?

Can you cope a couple of nights with him doing it in the PJ's? Get a mattress pad thing under him - this kind: http://www.target.com/Soaker-M.....age=1
Buy 2-3 of them so you can rotate and wash them for the next night.

This is why, NO DIAPER at night anymore! If you have a dryer (I don't, I'm in Israel) - then stop the diaper at night cuz it confuses them. I'm waiting till the summer when my mother brings the pads and when it's warmer for the sun to dry the sheets & pj's and warm water in the middle of the night to wash up DS to take off diaper at night.

Keep us updated!

shopaholic

Thu, Jan 31 2008, 11:27 am

I chickened out with the suppositories even though I bought them & DH went in & changed him before we went to bed & he was only a little wet this morning.

I realized that even if I use suppositories to get him used to using the toilet, he still may do it in his diaper later that night because his body has been like this for so long now.