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Toddler and new baby help



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 12:12 am
I had a baby a few weeks ago and ever since my 3 yo has become extremely difficult. I understand that she is jealous on the new baby. I really try to give her lots of individual attention.

She wakes up constantly at night, she always slept thru. She keeps on biting hitting the baby. Claiming all the babies stuff is her blankets/ paci cloths ( I allow her to take from the baby whatever she wants, I use others).

What more can I do ? Will this ever end ? Have I damaged her for life with having another sibling ?
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 12:14 am
That's really hard.
Did you get her new toys, new doll? There's a great book I read to my 2.5-3 yo before an after baby was born called A Baby of Our Own. It explained a lot and I think it helped.
Can you have her help you out, by bringing diapers or blankets or pacifiers so she feels important?
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 12:19 am
lots of great articles on janetlansbury.com
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 1:29 am
My 3.5 year old had a very hard time after baby was born. He was not himself - much more wild and aggressive. Also didn’t sleep well (although we found a medical cause for that)
It was a stress for him for sure.
It passed thank G-d
Good luck!
Get as much help as you can ie mother’s helper babysitter so you have have maybe more time with her while mother’s helper holds baby?
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 4:10 am
ive been through that twice so far and am expeciting now and dreading the thrid time Sad
I keep on thelling myself: it passed, all the siblings are happy and outgrew the phase.
I dont know if it helps you, I was totally certain that I have broken my child. I cried every night: give me my old toddle rback, as if I had lost him...I know how torn I was and how difficult and post partum is never easy even without this struggle. honestly - it is a phase albei a terribly dificult one.
quality time, staying calm, accepting their emotions etc is important. but it doesnt SOLVE the behaviour one day to the next. I dont think it took longer than max three months but hell was it hard. I recommend taking as much help as possible.
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silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 3:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I had a baby a few weeks ago and ever since my 3 yo has become extremely difficult. I understand that she is jealous on the new baby. I really try to give her lots of individual attention.

She wakes up constantly at night, she always slept thru. She keeps on biting hitting the baby. Claiming all the babies stuff is her blankets/ paci cloths ( I allow her to take from the baby whatever she wants, I use others).

What more can I do ? Will this ever end ? Have I damaged her for life with having another sibling ?


I know someone who went through such. What helped tremendously was getting a doll with some accessories for the toddler and naming it the new baby's name.
Ie chany baby

Hope it gets easier very soon. Good luck.
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 3:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I had a baby a few weeks ago and ever since my 3 yo has become extremely difficult. I understand that she is jealous on the new baby. I really try to give her lots of individual attention.

She wakes up constantly at night, she always slept thru. She keeps on biting hitting the baby. Claiming all the babies stuff is her blankets/ paci cloths ( I allow her to take from the baby whatever she wants, I use others).

What more can I do ? Will this ever end ? Have I damaged her for life with having another sibling ?

Did you send the toddler away after birth? (Gasp!)
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 4:03 pm
Thanks for the advice. I wonder if the doll idea would work I’d try that.

She was actually my my mother. Best care ever got loads of Bobby love.
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2020, 4:06 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks for the advice. I wonder if the doll idea would work I’d try that.

She was actually my my mother. Best care ever got loads of Bobby love.


Good, I’m happy to hear. This is a very normal adjustment period that will pass soon. It’s perfectly ok to display signs of jealousy at this age and stage, but I can guarantee you she’ll thank you one day for buying her a sibling. Priceless! Mazel tov and lots of nachas.
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