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Forum
-> Parenting our children
thegiver
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Mon, Nov 09 2020, 2:17 am
My child has been very needy lately "come now mommy" "I need u to do it for me" and all her responsibilities have practically been tossed to the wayside. She is 5 but used to be more independent and helpful and without cleaning help atm I am always doing something and struggling to keep up with everything. What helps you maintain patience for your children when you are simply busy all the time? What helps u put them first? (In my mind I am saying "if I don't clean this now, it will never get clean"
What's your phrase or motto that helps youseize the moment And be there for ur kids? Even if ur heart is elsewhere. How can I channel my heart to WANT my children first before wanting my sanity?
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amother
Peach
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Mon, Nov 09 2020, 2:32 am
I don’t think there’s any thing wrong with teaching them to assess the situation when asking for something. My 5 year old fully knows this: mommy when you’re done feeding the baby can you xyz? Mommy when you finish clearing up can you xyz. Mommy when you have a minute xyz. This case from me responding to her (formerly urgent) requests: mommy is in middle of xyz but will help you when I’m done. I’m always proud that my 5 year old is learning to put herself in my shoes (or her dads)
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Teomima
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Mon, Nov 09 2020, 3:16 am
Definitely nothing wrong with teaching your child patience, instead of you working on your own ability to drop everything and go running to help her.
That said, when I do need to put my children first, what helps is a few things:
First, I remind myself that ultimately, in the big picture, helping my children is the most important thing I can do with my life. Any job I have, any task I just do, and work I have to get done, that's all temporary. My kids, however, are the most precious things in my life, and time spent with them is never wasted.
Second, good old fashioned deep breaths and counting to ten can do a world of good. And the serenity prayer ("Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change...")
Finally, and this is a little silly, but sometimes I pretend there is a camera watching me, like I'm a babysitter caught on a nanny cam. I want to look good, like I'm doing a good job being caring, loving, patient and competent. This is a lady ditch effort when I'm really struggling, but I find it works.
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amother
Amethyst
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Mon, Nov 09 2020, 7:05 am
“Honey, I see that you need my help. I am coming right away, as soon as I finish doing this. Thank you for waiting!”
Repeat as many times as you need.
Can you teach her or show her how to do it herself? “Wanna see something cool? I’m gonna teach you how to do this allllll by yourself! So next time, you won’t even need me to do it for you! How cool???”
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