I think Hashem is pushing us off the derech

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 12:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My wish solution is to be able to buy a house in a good community and not ever move again. But the issue is financial and my husbands illness. All of the suggestions are great except we can’t afford to move into areas that were suggested due to the prices.

I hear you and am glad you can vent here, whether it's to bounce around ideas or just let off steam.
Please do look at Pittsburgh and Cleveland as places with lower cost of living and quality medical options. Maybe Minneapolis too but I know a lot less about the Jewish community there. There's so much up in the air right now nationally and globally not to mention your own personal stuff; it's a hard time for sure.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 6:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m very sorry that you are having major troubles too. Especially your health. It makes it very hard to keep any faith when your body is falling apart with nothing to help it.
We have considered aliyah but financially I don’t know if it would work and our kids are young but old enough that aliyah may be too difficult for them.

Thanks!
Regarding aliyah, it may interest not just you, but others, to see one of the latest video's featuring R'Zacharya Wallerstein (Entitled: "It's time to go")

As for financing it, shake hands. The only thing which can bail all chutznikim collectively, is collective organizing such as askanim of the past used to accomplish. If R' Sherer and others like him were still here, it would probably be launched already, leaving nobody out. As in the song "No Jew will be left behind"...

P.S. Insofar as affordability, perhaps Maaleh Amot? Haifa? I also heard of a place near Ashdod, I forget which, and there's also something in the Nvei Yakov area but further out.

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 10:04 am

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

Dear OP, your situation is very difficult. Please try to make as few changes as you can so that your family has stability. Aliyah would be a disaster. Better you should make small positive steps to make your life more manageable. Working locally would give you more time and energy. A job in a local store could give you same money as in gan and no commuting. Just my humble opinion.

Praying for you. In fact, crying out to Hashem and begging Him for help, maybe a way to go.

amother

Silver

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:11 am

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

OP, perhaps go with what Chocolate says. Sorry if I was overwhelming, and my multiple attempts have been proving overhwhelming to me. They don't make it easy, to say the least.
Again, my apologies.

Chickensoupprof

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 5:10 am

Quote:

OP I hope you have found something in the past few days. Your situation is really difficult, you want to buy a house in a good community but you are hold by your husbands illness and the financial situation. Trust me I too have now a hard time, I can't move to a community now, I have huge student loans and can't work and rely on my husbands finance. However, I've reached out for help and I can only hope that it will get better.
However, I'm a sceptic and I think you are also now skeptical about everything maybe. And it's a right to do that. I just want to tell you... you can skip tefillah but you can't skip the path towards the shul. Either way, you need to have some action now.

amother

Silver

Thu, Jul 02 2020, 5:11 am

Also, OP - insofar as health issues, I too have often felt frustrated to the Nth degree, for example I'd so much want to try a certain supplement such as "royal jelly" only to find out its not kosher, or I was desperate to have warmer legs rather than pantyhose (they didn't used to have fleece leggings), I couldn't find solutions, so I'd be frozen, or that time I finally thought I landed a job compatible with my health, only to be told by the interviewer "We would have hired you, but the thought of you having to be absent for prolonged holidays such as Passover, is what caused us to reconsider."

And more recently, I so much wanted to travel to Thailand for affordable yet quality stem cell therapy, but no OJ groups were going there, rather only non-jewish ones (I mean for therapy, not vacationing).

byisrael

Thu, Jul 02 2020, 6:00 am

Maybe Hashem is pushing you to find a better situation. Maybe there are dr.'s out there who are even better for your dh then his current ones. Maybe there is a fantastic job waiting out there for you that you aren't getting because your are staying put.

Look I get the deal about Dr.'s dd has a condition that is 1 in 1,750,000, and one point I also was stuck on using certain dr.'s until I found even better ones in a better location. In the end of the day you need to decide whats more important THIS SPECIFIC PRACTICE - or your families emotional,physical, and financial well being.Your kids aren't doing well, you surrounded by toxic family members, your commute is killing you - all because you (or dh ) aren't willing to find another practice. - thats not hashem pushing you otd, it's you choosing this specific medical practice over being frum. Which is your choice and fine - just don't blame Hashem.

Think about it, you already HAVE the diagnosis (the hardest part ime) now you need to continue treatment. Please reach out to someone like shuki berman (he is the biggest mench) and see if he can help you. Ask your current dr.'s where they have colleagues. Maybe instead of you commuting to to your job he can commute + do tele - medicine

And also realize that if being frum is really important to you, sometimes it involves real sacrifices. At one point 3 family members lived in an area where they all had had a beautiful big homes,fantastic army jobs,wives didn't have to work. At one point one family left because there was no Jewish education/ shuls/ kosher in the area he was stationed. They moved to a frum area where they never could afford to buy, the wife had to work full time . They now have children,grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who are happy, healthy, successful and frum. The family members who stayed back with the nice house and cushy job - all the kids intermarried.

byisrael

Thu, Jul 02 2020, 7:05 am

Also try looking for applying for no experience jobs - look at zip recruiter. There are jobs out there for people with no experience.

Because the Northeast Philadelphia ad is in my face I stuck that in a whole bunch of options came up
https://www.ziprecruiter.com/J.....ia,PA ranging from 32k-65k + . Yes thats a low salary, and most of it is sales or customer service - but I bet it's more then a gan ( and probably physically easier)

Try looking in your ideal area. Also if you can give us "needs to be a 2 hour commute from----- people may be able to have better suggestions

I happen to know twin rivers and the reason it's so expensive on zillow is because there are very few rentals, but the community own a few properties the rent out cheap (or they did). Look into it
https://www.cte-twinrivers.org/