My 4 year old wakes me up

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:51 pm

I have a 3.5 and he gets himself dressed and can feed himself. Make everything accessible. Not just preparing the night before but a child sized closet or drawers, cereal in a cabinet, access to dishes, milk in a small jug etc.

Zehava

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:56 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

I don’t understand this rush to make our children independent at such a young age, unless they assert independence.
You won’t be dressing them forever. Three is so young.

Blessing1

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 7:25 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

You don't need to respond but you do sound negative and critical of your daughter. Her behavior is normal. And if you keep on avoiding her she will eventually get the message and stop seeking you out

Edit: also 4 years is too long to be recovering from a birth (and definitely not your child's fault either way). I suspect you have untreated postpartum depression.

I was thinking this as well. It seems more like untreated PPD than fibromyalgia.

Blessing1

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 7:28 pm

Zehava wrote:

I don’t understand this rush to make our children independent at such a young age, unless they assert independence.
You won’t be dressing them forever. Three is so young.

This. I don't see it as an a good thing that toddlers get themselves dressed and serve themselves breakfast. I think it's quite sad.
I understand that some little kids like to do everything themselves, but some posters make it seem like 3&4 year olds are supposed to dress and serve themselves.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 7:35 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

I was thinking this as well. It seems more like untreated PPD than fibromyalgia.

It could be both. Depression can make fibro 10 times worse, too.

amother

Amber

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 7:49 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

How is it sad?
Besides for teaching my kids independence, it also teaches them responsibility, strengthens fine and gross motor skills, and builds confidence. It’s also been proven to be healthy for all around development.
If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. But it’s definitely not a sad thing.
Do your research, and do what you’re comfortable with.

Blessing1

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 8:16 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

It's sad because 3 year old's aren't supposed to be independent yet. What's the rush? Let them be kids. They need to be taught responsibility at an age appropriate level. I don't think it's age appropriate for a 3 & 4 year old to dress and serve themselves. Especially when mom is asleep.To me it just seems like mom can't be bothered to do these things for the kid.

Last edited by Blessing1 on Tue, Nov 10 2020, 8:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 8:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

All the time. I don't know what to do. Mostly mornings and naps bec she is lonely wants something. It's making me physically unwell.

Naps? You nap during the day regularly?

Blessing1

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 8:24 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Naps? You nap during the day regularly?

Read the entire thread, you'll see why naps are necessary for her.

amother

Amber

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 8:46 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

I agree that it’s sad if the only reason that they are independent is because they are being neglected. I’m with you 10000%. But otherwise I think it’s wonderful! My kids are still kids even though they lace up their own shoes. They play and color and are full of life and energy, and they also put away all of the playdough into it’s box on the low-down shelf.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:33 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

There are safety issues leaving 3 and 4 year olds completely unattended for long periods.

amother

Amber

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:34 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

There are safety issues leaving 3 and 4 year olds completely unattended for long periods.

There absolutely are, which is why I will never leave them unattended for longer than it takes for me to go to the bathroom.