Can I ask for a cash gift?

amother

Thu, Nov 12 2020, 9:17 pm

Someone is coming to visit me for a week. She said she wanted to buy me a bracelet and wanted to know if a 7" would fit me.

Can I just ask for the cash value? Tell her thank you so much, but I'd really just prefer the cash?

I have this problem often.

I have some relatives who come every year for winter break. They usually bring a cookbook for me. While I enjoy cookbooks, I have enough right now and would so much rather the cash, even if it's 25$

They are coming this winter IY"H - can I tell them before they come?

These people are all various degrees of relatives, not strangers, if that makes a difference.

I"m just so done with stuff... I want money (or nothing, but I think they'll feel better if they bring something).

amother

Cyan

Thu, Nov 12 2020, 9:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Its tacky to ask for the cash value, unless you're very close with them.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Nov 12 2020, 9:25 pm

Sorry, no. If you ask for cash, you're saying that you are a hotel, charging for the room and board. If you can't afford to host, then don't. Asking for money puts your guests in an awkward position.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Nov 12 2020, 9:34 pm

I understand where you’re coming from but it is tacky to ask for cash and it would feel weird to give cash as a gift to a hostess. If it’s a different type of situation where someone for whatever reason can’t live in their house for a period of time and needs a place to stay and then they’re helping out with utilities and food bills etc then that’s a different story...

twizzlers1

Thu, Nov 12 2020, 11:42 pm

I just wanted to say how nice it is that you host! That is something that is very hard for me. I don't know if you can say what you'd want instead but I think that it's okay to say that you really don't want a bracelet. Obviously say it in a way that's sensitive. But if she asked you about a size then she clearly wants to get you something that you can actually like and wear.The only piece of jewelry I wear is my ring and a watch and I really do not like bracelets at all. It would honestly feel like the person really doesn't appreciate me if she is staying with me and looking to give me a gift that I wouldn't even like. I don't think her intention is to give you something that you don't like but it is more hurtful I think to get a gift that you really really really don't like than getting nothing at all sometimes.

SingALong

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 5:06 am

I would not ask for cash instead of a gift, doesn’t feel polite. But I might respond and suggest a gift certificate To a local store instead. it still feels like a gift, but you can use the money in a way that works for you.

SixOfWands

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 6:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No, you can't ask for cash.

Yes, you can sell the bracelet (or cookbook, or whatever else it is) after she leaves.

OOTforlife

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 6:14 am

No, you can't ask for cash. You can regift, pawn, sell, or give away if you don't want the item. I also don't think you should ask for gift card, which is just a baby step away from cash. I would be annoyed to get such a request from someone and would consider it presumptuous.

Unless someone asks you, totally open ended, "What would you like for a present?" Then you can ask for anything.

Last edited by OOTforlife on Fri, Nov 13 2020, 6:24 am; edited 2 times in total

mommyhood

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 6:21 am

If this is someone you're close with I think you can ask for an alternative gift but not cash. You can say something like, oh that's so sweet I don't need any more bracelets but my kids would love a new game or a gift certificate to a local restaurant...