Dd wants a second ear piercing

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Nov 15 2020, 1:04 pm

We asked our daughter to wait till she finished high school which she did. She pierced and wore it for 6 mths or so in SEM and then stopped wearing it. She hardly wears it. But I don't find it offensive. It's just become a bit of a stigma.
Edit to add she only ever wore a small stud. And family made a few comments but we took it in our stride and said this is what she wanted. It looks pretty. She's very tsnius all round.

funkyfrummom

Sun, Nov 15 2020, 1:47 pm

Since your daughter said she would go with what you think is right (if I understood correctly) and since you hate the look, I think you should just ask that she postpone until she is at least 18, as others have said. I don't think you should feel any worry about asking that of her.

This is really more about what hashkafa SHE will follow, and that is still in formation. Yes, of course it will affect shidduchim as the parents of any boy redt probably have their own opinions that affect things (beyond just the sensibilities of the boy, himself). If she winds up following a MO path, 2 earrings is not a questionable thing. I doubt anyone would even notice. But in other circles, it just doesn't seem eidel. Her ideas about what is stylish are being influenced by her friends, but that's totally normal.

In the secular world, multiple ear piercings (2, even 3) is not at all edgy or counter-culture anymore. Many women, even in business settings (I am in NYC), wear multiple earrings. They are small and dainty and the name of the look is a "curated ear." It's not considered tacky. It's fashionable. Just sharing that fyi. Based upon that, I suspect it will slowly be more accepted amongst those who lean more tznius.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Nov 15 2020, 2:16 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

What? I have no idea where you are getting your information from.

Women with NOSE rings are holding down high level, professional corporate jobs. Women with colorful tattoos are getting jobs in every sector of society, doctors, lawyers - and if it can be covered with long sleeves, pretty much anything is open to them.

Wearing a sheitel is infinitely weirder than having a second piercing, as far as job hunting goes.

If you are talking about shidduchim, if a girl really likes her second piercing, and the boy hates it, he's not the one for her anyway. He'll never understand her, and he'll be too rigid in his expectations.

Seminary.
She might not go the typical shidduch route on this trajectory but I have no idea what the seminaries she might want, if she chooses to go, think of a second piercing.