What helps u not resent ur kid?

Teomima

Fri, Nov 20 2020, 8:21 am

Every now and then stop and remind yourself of what your priorities are in life. For me there's a little pep talk I give myself: "The most important thing in my world is my family. I love my children more than anything. Right now, they are loved, they are safe, they are happy, they are cared for, and that's everything they need. That is all that matters. Everything else is temporary. Right here, right now, this is what matters and it's where my priorities lie."

Let go of the cleaning. Anything you clean right now will get dirty again later. Instead go kiss your kids, because that single kiss is eternal. It will be with them forever.

Resentment is so toxic in a family, especially for a parent to feel resentful of their children. You really need to learn to reprogram your mind because kids are perceptive and they'll pick up on any resentment you feel towards them and no child deserves to feel resented by the very people that brought them into this world.

Oh and let go of this idea of not getting your way. You're a mom, you won't be "getting your way" till your kids are grown and gone. Just forget about it. Have little to no expectations and you'll better be able to appreciate the small victories: Today I peed without anyone in the bathroom with me! Today I managed to sneak an entire ice cream bar without my kids noticing and wanting some! Today I got a solid seven hours of sleep! Today I got to take a walk without anyone with me! Etc.

PurpleandGold

Fri, Jan 29 2021, 1:08 pm

thegiver wrote:

It slipped: "I hate u" from my mouth Sad

((( when I was distracted and baby starting gagging on something they spilled

It's ok! We all make mistakes. Take those children aside, and say firmly "I said something not true, when I was feeling angry. I will always love you. I am sorry I said that, it must have made you feel terrible, will you please forgive me?". Give them each a long hug.

Then explain "behind the angry feeling is always an afraid feeling. When the baby choked I was so afraid! So I got angry and said something not true. I wish I would have said 'that was so scary for me! Children, you must clean up things that spilled!'"

amother

Lilac

Sat, Jan 30 2021, 1:45 pm

Teomima wrote:

This exactly.
Thank you!
Applause

As I was reading all the responses I was thinking that op wasn't asking for practical advice on having a clean house, but on how to change her approach.

Op, I try to remember that kids are kids. This is normal behavior. It won't last forever and one day I'll miss it. Live in the moment. Prioritize. Is a clean house more important than happy children?

Signed, an ocd mom who's learning to prioritize. And is entering week number 5 of lockdown with all (little) kids home in a small apartment.