S/o Gentle/positive parenting book recommendations

spikta

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 4:01 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Do you properly understand the book? I’m trying to read it - I’m even taking Blimi me hellers book club course but it’s really confusing and hard to apply.

I found that listening to Marshal Rosenberg's lectures on youtube was very helpful in understanding how NVC is applied. He has a lot of examples, and he's fun and funny to listen to.
https://youtu.be/l7TONauJGfc
It's also a good introduction to NVC, and he has several parenting related examples.

Also, if you want to go even more in depth, I recommend the compassion course. It's a weekly email for a year that helps you learn and practice NVC.

MiriFr

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 8:16 am

I’m so happy I found this thread! I’m not an expert, but I enjoyed these books:
The Whole Brain Child- this is actually my favorite book in the world. Short, fun, easy to read, really really really cool
Unconditional parenting
Differently Wired
Hold on to Your Kids
Emotional Agility

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 1:59 pm

Zehava wrote:

Yes I do but I can imagine how it wouldn’t be so clear to everyone. It requires a lot of baseline self-awareness and understanding of other people.

Hi based on hearing it mentioned here a few days ago (probably from you?) I was thinking of ordering the book Nonviolent Communication, but now I saw this comment and I'm not sure. My DH is lacking some fundamental communication skills-- and if I get him a book he would probably read it. He is not super self-aware though. He has a lot of issues and occasionally acknowledges them but more often is in denial and blames everyone else. But much of the time I still feel like it boils down to basic communication and empathy. Do you still recommend this book? I still may get it for myself but is there another book you would recommend? He is very smart but is lacking in emotional intelligence. I think he needs a book that provides straightforward principles of communication and even gives examples and practice exercises. He cannot do role-playing though. He needs specific and practical guidance on how to use positive and healthy communication in his relationships. TIA! Smile

Zehava

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 2:09 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

I would recommend getting the book for yourself so you can communicate with him better

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 2:16 pm

Zehava wrote:

I would recommend getting the book for yourself so you can communicate with him better

yes I might do that. in general I have pretty good interpersonal and communication skills but I get so frustrated by his blaming and negativity... I would still love a recommendation from you or anyone else for a good book about communication for him to read as well.

spikta

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 2:25 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

If so, I think I'd recommend The Compassion Book: Lessons from The Compassion Course, by Thom Bond. I feel that it's a bit more fleshed out than the original Marshal Rosenberg NVC book. There's some useful discussion there about how you even become aware of your feelings, since many people were taught to suppress and ignore them, plus a lot of other emotional concepts and skills that I think makes understanding NVC more accessible. And there are a lot of practical examples and exercises.

Zehava

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 3:57 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

This will help you not take his attacks personally.
In general making someone else read a book is not a great way to change them. It’s generally impossible to change people.

amother

Violet

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 7:21 pm

Zehava wrote:

The title sure doesn’t sound positive or gentle

lol she picked a bad title because the process is not instant. In most of the book she is busy explaining why yelling or repeating yourself is bad for your children and relationship with them. then she has a couple of chapters of techniques to use to to give positive attention to foster cooperation.