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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
Ivory
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 Tue, Nov 24 2020, 12:23 pm
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I think I'm thankful to not even know the definition of the word 'nebby'.
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amother
Olive
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 12:25 pm
Ugh..
reading this thread is making me feel desperate to move to an OOT open minded place where people don’t categorize,label, or classify their community members based on such silly reasons like clothes and money.
What values do kids in such communities get????????
They get to know who’s “nebby”? Who’s “with it”? 🙄
What about real true values???
Ugh ugh ugh...
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amother
Ivory
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 12:32 pm
| amother [ Olive ] wrote: | Ugh..
reading this thread is making me feel desperate to move to an OOT open minded place where people don’t categorize,label, or classify their community members based on such silly reasons like clothes and money.
What values do kids in such communities get????????
They get to know who’s “nebby”? Who’s “with it”? 🙄
What about real true values???
Ugh ugh ugh... |
On the one hand, I agree with you. I hate labels.
ON the other hand, it's good to know what kind of atmosphere and expectations there are in each community. It helps people make decisions about where they want to live.
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professor
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 12:38 pm
If the parent body is "flatbushy" and the school is in boro park it means that, just like my kids' school, most of the students travel from Flatbush.
So he/she will have friends living far away and shabbos will be harder to go visit them for a play date.
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giselle
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 12:40 pm
| amother [ Ivory ] wrote: | | I think I'm thankful to not even know the definition of the word 'nebby'. |
I think I knew what it meant when I was 8.
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amother
Slateblue
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 12:50 pm
| amother [ Red ] wrote: | | Trendy | lol
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 12:53 pm
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So glad that I don't live in Brooklyn.
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amother
Beige
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 1:12 pm
| amother [ Vermilion ] wrote: | | My profuse apologies. Do you have a better way to describe it? |
you can describe it with positive words. and even if not you didn't have to bring up other cities so just you can compare and call entire communities nebs.
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amother
Ivory
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 1:12 pm
| giselle wrote: | | I think I knew what it meant when I was 8. |
I think you have to live in a very ashkenazi, frum, yiddish influenced place to know what it means.
I did not.
I can guess the meaning from this thread though.
In any case, one needs to remember that the definition of the word 'trendy' varies from place to place. Flatbush trendy and 'with it' is not general American trendy and with it. Long glamorous wigs, high heels, face full of make up is not considered a 'trendy' or youthful look in all circles. (ETA I have no idea if that is what's in in Flatbush, just giving an example as to what some consider 'trendy' on this forum. Some people here live in such closed communities they don't realize their trendy is not everyone's trendy).
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amother
Orchid
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 1:35 pm
Here are some more adjectives
Humble
Refined
Down to earth
Welcoming
Warm
Sophisticated
Fashionable
Tight knit
Materialistic
Frivolous
Hollow
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mizle10
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 1:41 pm
| amother [ Bronze ] wrote: | | As I said, if you can not only call 2 entire communities of frum Jews "nebby," but then still have to ask what you said that wasn't nice, I think that says a lot more about you and your BP "chinuch" than it does about the "nebs" in Kensington and Bensonhurst (and I've never lived in either of them). |
This was by far not the meanest answer. Not sure why this one in particular got you upset.
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amother
Emerald
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 1:46 pm
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I always thought it meant something between yeshivish and modern orthodox. Seeing some of the other answers now like wow was I wrong!
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gold21
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 1:58 pm
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Putting people in categories- "nebby" for example, personifies the idea of "Flatbushy". My current neighbors are trendy and with it, but so open and friendly- not Flatbushy at all. They don't box people into neat little categories. So it's more about an ideology than it is about fashion, in my opinion.
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amother
Black
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 2:02 pm
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Growing up in Lakewood all the Flatbushy people thought Lakewood was nebby and then they all moved here. Joke’s on them 😝
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funkyfrummom
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 3:46 pm
I have lived in Brooklyn (various hoods) for the past 20 years, as an adult. I'm very much an "out of towner." I sound it. I look it. I think it. While I DO care what people think (because to not care shows a lack of social awareness), I am at peace with myself and who I am.
That said, this thread makes me sad, and it is a great example of why so many people just don't want to live in Brooklyn. What is wrong with us?
nebech/nebbish = someone you look down on or pity b/c they are unfortunate or in poor circumstances
It is interesting to me that anyone thinks "nebby" (which is just an Americanized way of saying nebech) is anything other than a pejorative term.
Fwiw, I lived in Kensington for a couple years and (as a relative outsider to the community) all of the people I met seemed lovely. There was a wide range of hashkafos, income levels, professions, education, fashion sense, etc. I certainly didn't think the character of the community was "nebby."
OP- When someone describes the parent body of the school as "flatbushy," I would just ask them what they mean by that. That's really the only way to know what they are trying to say, since they are speaking in a bit of a code that might mean something pretty specific to them. There are so many things it could mean, so I would ask the person who said it as opposed to seeking some sort of consensus here, which could be off target.
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amother
Turquoise
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 3:55 pm
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This post is hatred of Jewish people.
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amother
Turquoise
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 3:58 pm
| amother [ Olive ] wrote: | Ugh..
reading this thread is making me feel desperate to move to an OOT open minded place where people don’t categorize,label, or classify their community members based on such silly reasons like clothes and money.
What values do kids in such communities get????????
They get to know who’s “nebby”? Who’s “with it”? 🙄
What about real true values???
Ugh ugh ugh... |
You dont gain much by being oot, because you do come in to populated jewish are you will look with a bad ey.
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amother
Vermilion
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Tue, Nov 24 2020, 5:08 pm
Just to give an example YOB is not Flatbushy even though there are many girls from Flatbush. (I think)
When registering my daughter in school I did ask what the parent body type is bec I dont want her feeling pressured to dress a certain way, have a certain briefcase. This is an important question when living in town. Some ppl dont want this pressure or specifically feel comfortable with it. Some ppl are looking for the more yeshivish and some for the less yeshivish.
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amother
Brunette
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Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:39 am
The funny thing is that I know people who are very Flatbushy, who don't consider themselves Flatbushy 
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Tzippy323
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Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:57 am
I live just into Marine Park. I don’t quite know what you would call my area, but as with all neighborhoods there is a mix. It isn’t right to call Bensonhurst “nebby” simply because some families, maybe even a majority, fit that description. All neighborhoods are a cholent. Just on my block alone, there are children from Prospect, BYA, Masores, Shulamis, Lev Bais Yaakov, and BYBP. There are boys from Torah Emes, Tiferes Yisroel, Torah Vodaath, Torah Temima, and Ohr Shraga. What does that make my block?
Every neighborhood has all kinds. Yes, some types may dominate, but that shouldn’t give a name to the whole community. I’m certain that some schools might pride themselves on being called “nebby” while others would be horrified. All schools are trying to provide an education. Tznius isn’t a defining factor because if we are following Halacha, then we all should be dressing appropriately. If you wear a black hat on Shabbos, or a kippah serugah, that shouldn’t define you. We are all Yidden, and hopefully, following in the footsteps of the Avos. Those who learn a pasuk of Chumash in a blue skirt or a plaid skirt, or a polo shirt or a button down blouse, should not be considered more or less of a Yid. And using “nebby” to describe the parent body, is just plain wrong.
Is it possible that we stop using these labels, and just remember that we are all Yidden working together to bring Moshiach as soon as possible?
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