How much do you have in your account now

amother

Denim

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 4:07 am

All joint accounts with my husband

checking: About $3500
Credit card: quite a lot of debt, about $10 or $20000
Savings/retirement/stocks and shares: Something over $1 million. Doesn't feel real since its all in shares, mostly in one company. We would need to cash it in to feel real. We will iyh cash in a bit to pay off our cc.

I think if you own a house or other properties is also important. We don't own a house so even though we have a bit of money I feel insecure.

We are mid 40s.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 4:17 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Can I ask which company?
Just wondering why you would keep all your eggs in one basket? Smile

amother

Lavender

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 4:18 am

About $750k. We live below our means to the point that it's oppressive because dh is "saving for retirement". Sad

amother

Teal

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 5:31 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

About $750k. We live below our means to the point that it's oppressive because dh is "saving for retirement". Sad

I don't know what oppressive is to you, but as someone whose dh is now retired, I can tell you that I really appreciate all those years of living beneath our means.

amother

Wine

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 6:31 am

$8,800 in checking, but that will go down to around $4,000 within a few days when mortgage and tuition payments are processed at the end of the month
$20,000 in savings
$360,000 401k
$300,000+ house equity
Age fortyish

lk1234

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 6:31 am

oh wow - just woke up to all these replies on this thread. Thank you to all who responded. I feel there is so much to learn here. There is so much secrecy and "hush hush" if you will regarding people's ACTUAL financial situation. The more people talk and bring to light the reality of their situation I believe the more it can be improved.

One of the posters wrote something about leaving everything to emunah. This is definitely something that I struggle with now. In my 20s I was all about emunah - if you asked me what was in my account, I literally would have no clue. Until one fine day I did have a clue and I was so shocked. I had worked hard my whole life but I could not believe how little money I actually had. I was also thinking, I work - that's my job and then I leave the rest to hashem. NO NO NO - that was horrible. Of course now I believe everything is hashem, my ability to work, the money I get to keep, the money I save through hashem helping protect me etc. HOWEVER I must stay on top of the budget - my choices on how I spend money are my choices. What really made this hard was seeing people around me spending so much money but clearly earning less than me. I was and still am curious about ACTUAL numbers. That is why this thread is so enlightening.

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 7:05 am

I'm finding this thread to be really fascinating.

LK1234, Can I ask what changes you've made to become more fiscally responsible?

My husband brought his first paycheck home last week after being in school for close to a decade. Our finances up until now were so difficult. I work and make a decent salary (about 120K) but with four kids, it gets gobbled up fast. We own our home, have a 30 year mortgage we're paying down each month. We owe about 300,000 in school loans. We live very simply. Our income is now going to double, and my husbands income will (please god!) increase as the years go by. We have about 2,000 in savings at the moment.

I would love some financial guidance. Not sure who to turn to. You mentioned Ramsey. I googled him... looks interesting. Any advice?

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 7:09 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

About $750k. We live below our means to the point that it's oppressive because dh is "saving for retirement". Sad

I totally understand how you feel. I'm the one with the broken kitchen.

lk1234

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 7:48 am

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

The number one must important thing that you need to do is create a budget and live within your means. After that you need to pay yourself first by saving money every month for retirement. This is the sin qua non of all budgeting advice. Now the question is HOW do you do this. You need to be ruthless about how you spend your money and not look at how others spend. Examples- I don't have cleaning help. I learned how to clean my own house, quickly and easily. Small tricks like keeping supplies where they are used, encouraging kids to take off shoes, quick daily clean up of kitchen. Another example, all kids clothes except teenagers are second hand. My kids look adorable but do not have this seasons clothing. Everything is brand name but for a fraction of the cost. I take advantage of anything on sale food wise. I've learned to get comfortable with the word "no". I used to feel like a bad mom if my kids asked me for something and I said no. Now I have literally trained myself to say no. I also explain why we are saying no so that they understand that it is not in our budget- I show them our budget and I am very open and honest about how money works. Things that I think can't be a certain way are a certain way now. Examples are getting rid of landscaper, getting rid of subscription magazines, nail salon visits, hair cuts.

I also used to have this weird obsession with the idea that "I deserve it". I would treat myself to small pleasures like pastries, coffees during the week because "I work so hard so I deserve it". CLEARLY NOT - if I was so poor and mismanaged my money so badly then no I did not deserve it. I'll deserve it once I have an emergency account of 3-6 months of expenses and fully funded retirement acocunt. Then yes- I will deserve it.

There is so much more I can write- nuances that make all the difference. Of course this is my advice being that you are asking me. On other threads people focus on self care, easy solutions and things like that. At this point in my life I'm totally focused on making money so I'm not into those things. In the past I've been into that and probably will get back into that once I achieve financial freedom but not now.

Feel free to ask me more Smile

mommy3b2c

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 8:47 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

We are in my 40s. We both work.

We max out on dhs 401k and our Roth Ira plans every year. We also have separate money in stocks.

We purchased a starter home in our low 20s. We outgrew it years ago. We only did 2 renovation projects, both were mostly covered by insurance.

Our kitchen and bathrooms are falling apart. We dont invite anyone over anymore.

Its really awful. Dh picked up one of our kids and some of his friends from a trip. Instead of dropping the kids off at my house and parents picking them up, dh volunteered to drive an extra hour dropping them off at their homes. He didn't want the friends to see our house.

Yes, we have over $400 k in savings, probably closer to 700k. I don't pay attention or keep track. We have about 10k in cash in our account on a given day.

The money means nothing to me. If I cant afford to redo my kitchen then im broke.

Why are you saying you can’t afford to redo your kitchen? You make no sense. Just redo your kitchen. What’s stopping you?

amother

Beige

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 8:56 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Why are you saying you can’t afford to redo your kitchen? You make no sense. Just redo your kitchen. What’s stopping you?

From her followup posts, it sounds like her husband is opposed to renovating the existing house because he expects to move to a nicer house at some undetermined future date.

amother

Mauve

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:09 am

We have about 1million in savings.
There’s no box for me?! Poor me.

On a different note, I have a bowel movement every morning.
Anything else?

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:15 am

500

amother

Tan

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:36 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

From her followup posts, it sounds like her husband is opposed to renovating the existing house because he expects to move to a nicer house at some undetermined future date.

Then it is not a question of being able to afford it. It is a lifestyle issue.

amother

Denim

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:41 am

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

Can I ask which company?
Just wondering why you would keep all your eggs in one basket? Smile

It was a lot less then $1 million a year or two back.

I agree with you about the eggs but then we wouldn't have this money if we hadn't done that. Big risk but we believed in this company. But thats why it doesn't feel real.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:55 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

From her followup posts, it sounds like her husband is opposed to renovating the existing house because he expects to move to a nicer house at some undetermined future date.

Well there is a lot of dysfunction going on, but she can afford it. Those are two separate issues. She can absolutely 100% afford to redo her kitchen and bathrooms.

amother

Teal

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:25 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Please diversify. Even if you don't make as much right away, you'll be doing yourself a favor in the long term.

amother

Beige

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:26 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Well there is a lot of dysfunction going on, but she can afford it. Those are two separate issues. She can absolutely 100% afford to redo her kitchen and bathrooms.

I agree. It's two separate issues. But you also asked what's stopping her, and that's what is stopping her I believe.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 11:07 am

50,000. We just got married, obvs no kids, we're being supported, so we're not spending so much.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 11:18 am

I'll be brutally honest.

We have been more than once at a point of zero income. It's been 3 years since the last time, and although we don't have any savings retirement etc and nothing majorly in our bank account, we did go back to paying our rent on the 1st. Our only 'debt' is a monthly credit card bill, (not a huge amount) which we are bh able to pay every month in full.

Every single month that all our expensive get covered, it means so much to us, we are truly thankful to Hashem. We see it, He's definitely involved in enabling us to cover our expenses.