Shop local campaign: why are stores like this???

Cheiny

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My kids need new linen and I saw a cute set on pottery barn but I decided I'd rather go to the local linen store. I was looking at some sets I liked and was almost ready to buy a set when the saleslady came over to me and says "these aren't for you, let me show you the cheap sets." I asked her if they do throw pillows to any set, she says "we do but they're very expensive. Come let me show you which sets are for you."
I was so disgusted by her that I walked out. I was ready to spend $600 there but apparently she decided I'm poor and can only afford $89 linen sets.
Why oh why do I bother shopping local?? Yes, I know most stores are nice. But unfortunately, many aren't. I think that now that the stores are begging people to shop local, they shouldn't be pushing people away.

That’s disgusting. I hope you told that tactless person why you’d take your business elsewhere.

Rappel

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:14 am

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

“Are you jewish?”
“Yes.....”
“Just asking because you look like a Spanish girl dressed like a Jew.”
WELL EEEEEFF YOU TOO LADY!
Hate micro aggressions.

Well, between the funny Hispanic girl dressed like a Jew and the rude jerk dressed like a Jew, I think it's clear whom conquered that encounter.

Learning

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:20 am

There are two sides to the story. I also encountered frum stores rudeness but on the other hand: my friend had a frum clothing store in her house. She said the frum customers were so rude to her. Coming to her house and telling her what to do with her children and about how chinuch methods are wrong. She is very sensitive and couldn’t take the abuse and eventually closed her store.

Last edited by Learning on Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:36 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:24 am

I haven't had this experience, but sometimes wish I could have the store to myself without the owner hovering over me (clothing stores), and can just try things on in a relaxed way with no pressure. The no return policies (except for a credit slip) really make you think twice before buying something you may be stuck with.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:34 am

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

I had the saaame thing! But a racist one.
When I was single living in Flatbush I went to this tights store to get winter tights
Couldn’t find what I wanted and I asked the lady for help.
Sales lady looked at me up and down and said
“Are you jewish?”
“Yes.....”
“Just asking because you look like a Spanish girl dressed like a Jew.”
WELL EEEEEFF YOU TOO LADY!
Hate micro aggressions.

Another time once walked into another tight store to get socks for my son and one of the sales lady was following me with a distance, watching my move.
Then when I stood in line to pay she kept staring at me weird. Like I had three heads or something. You know, that strange look where they’re trying to figure out what species you are...
And when she threw the card at me I just walked out never been back.

Yes I notice when people give me looks
No I’m NOT imagining things.
Literally my husband can confirm this and my friends too.
No I’m not “insecure”
Yes I carry myself proudly.

Yes I am proud of my MEDIUM BROWN SKIN.

YES I AM NOT PASTY WHITE OR OLIVE TONED.

just nobody likes to be stared at like a monkey in the zoo. Try standing in India or China and see what I go through. Sheesh.

I’m a bt sepharadi in israel. When I was single Once a frum old ashkenazi chasidish women wanted to give me a complement. She told me :you don’t look sepharadi in a tone meaning that it was meant as a compliment.

amother

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:35 am

Learning wrote:

There are two sides to the story. I also encountered frum stores rudeness but on the other hand: my friend had a frum clothing store in her house. She said the frum customers were so rude to her. Coming to her house and telling her what to do with her children and about chinuch methods. She is very sensitive and couldn’t take the abuse and eventually closed her store.

That's weird. I never heard of such a thing, wow!
We all need to be nice, customers and salespeople alike.

PeanutMama

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 11:43 am

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

Oh heck nah. That’s not okay. Totally get it. Totally.

I only go to the store on 43rd I think. There they treat me nicely! BH.
Now I don’t shop there often but I step in to look what’s available and plan to go the next few days
(But I always forget.)

amother

Sienna

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 11:56 am

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

This. I often wonder what others feel like, b/c I will usually not stay in a shop where the worker stares me up and down, as I try on a shmatte etc... I cannot think straight and find it very irritative when that happens. I thought it was common sense to give people their space, unless you want to lit shoo them out with out the shoe... ;-)

amother

Gray

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 12:11 pm

Not a frum shopping experience but DH and I were shopping for sofas and we went into a (not frum) store and asked to see leather ones. All they showed us was fake pleather and bonded leather, even though we said we wanted real leather. So we started to walk out and all of a sudden there was another showroom through a door on the side with natuzzis and other higher end sofas. It was so strange! We were dressed pretty casually and DH was wearing a particularly shlubby shirt that I had been begging him to throw out for ages, so I guess they judged us the same way. Who dresses up for furniture shopping? 😜

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 12:57 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

You reminded me about a frum clothing store in the town I grew up in. We would walk in and be completely ignored. Nothing had prices so we would try to get help but be ignored. As soon as we walked towards the door to leave someone would come running after you to help you. Every. Single.Time. And they checked you up and down before they gave you the price. I'm not sure what they based it on but everyone got their own custom pricing.

But in those days they were the only store in town with nice clothing. So we went there anyhow but very reluctantly.

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 1:00 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Ha! I know exactly which store you're talking about...

FranticFrummie

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 1:20 pm

I was in a mall once, and I saw a new store called "Forever 21". I was curious, so I went in to see what type of stuff they had. Before I could even take a look around, a little toothpick of a teenager bopped over to me and said "We don't carry plus sizes, nothing here will fit you."

I was speechless, and just turned and walked out. I'm a big, fat, size 12. If she had said "These are junior sizes." and left it at that, I would have been fine. For all she knew, I could have been shopping for DD.

When I was a teenager, I had a friend in high school who liked to shoplift. She would dress in old sneakers, faded jeans, and a ratty t-shirt. She'd go to stores that were not too high end, but still pretty fancy. Places like Nordstrom's and Lord & Taylor.

The sales clerks would totally ignore her, and she could swipe anything she wanted, right out from under their noses. They made such a point of "not seeing her", that it was like she had an invisibility cloak. She even had lists of things that other girls wanted her to shoplift for them, and they'd pay her a fraction of the ticket price for her troubles.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 3:09 pm

Salespeople usually don't make much and the types that were mentioned here often idealize how people with money should dress or look, and then miss customers that way. Like someone else said, sometimes in frum stores they also don't recognize casual but expensive brand clothes.

And not every person with money cares about brands or dressing up either, they don't have to prove to the world they are not poor lol

amother

Black

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 3:27 pm

I don't get the problem? Mind you, this has never happened to me. But if a woman kept steering me to cheaper sets, what's wrong with just saying, "You know, actually, I just really like the ones I was looking at." The end?

For me, I'm the one who goes to stores after I admired a tie-dyed shirt in the window, and with about three extremely overeager saleswomen come and pile my cart with things to "try", until I realize that each tshirt is $55. $55!!!

For me, it bothers me not to get my money's worth. Can I afford a $55 tshirt? Sure. But it's the PRINCIPAL of the thing. That's why I don't buy expensive handbags, etc. I used to buy super expensive linen until I realized that I like the really soft, comfortable kind without all the weird velvet and brocade and piping the other ones have, and those are the cheaper ones.

So I buy on-sale at Department stores, because Jewish stores never seem to have proper sales.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 8:43 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

I used to joke that you need to leave before entering the store and then you'll get the help. And once you want to leave they don't stop bringing you more stuff to see and try on.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:12 pm

I did a non scientific experiment. I went to a frum store dressed ‘plain’ - regular Sheitel, skirt etc. I was sent to the sale rack because ‘that’s what your probably looking for’. Decided to go back another day for kicks and wore my fur coat, expensive jewelry, and nicer Sheitel. Suddenly, they were being attentive and showing me the regular merchandise, asking me if I needed any chance their sizes, and not shoiing me over to the sale rack. Needless to say I did not buy anything there nor have I gone back. My experiment was completed.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:19 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

I used to joke that you need to leave before entering the store and then you'll get the help. And once you want to leave they don't stop bringing you more stuff to see and try on.

Yes, thats exactly how it was!!