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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 5:39 pm
As long as I sit here doing nothing on the couch.
Every single time I stand up, no matter which direction she's facing or how fascinating her toys are, she starts screaming... And screaming.... And screaming.
It's nice to relax but I have to do the dishes... And get my toddler to bed... And switch the laundry... And go to the bathroom...
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avrahamama
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 5:44 pm
Yes I know this well. That's how I end up in Ima so much ... If I get up he starts to scream and pull on my skirt. As long as I sit here doing absolutely nothing there is peace.
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amother
Gold
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 5:51 pm
Enjoy the relaxation time
If you feel like you must then bring a basket of laundry to fold (if you have) or done other task that can be done sitting?
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amother
Silver
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:21 pm
Yup. And if I'm just browsing on my phone she'll keep playing, but as soon as I try to do real work she needs my phone.
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:23 pm
You realize if you ignore the screaming she will eventually stop and then you'll be able to move around right?
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amother
Gray
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:29 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | You realize if you ignore the screaming she will eventually stop and then you'll be able to move around right? |
Well yes, you can always teach her while she's still an infant that mommy isn't there for her.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:32 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | You realize if you ignore the screaming she will eventually stop and then you'll be able to move around right? |
She won't. I mean, for how long?
I've let her scream often for 1-2 minutes and for even up to 10-15 minutes a couple of times when no choice - bathroom, bringing in and putting away fridge/ freezer items, etc.
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:38 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote: | Well yes, you can always teach her while she's still an infant that mommy isn't there for her. |
Because spoiling her into controlling your life is better?
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:40 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | She won't. I mean, for how long?
I've let her scream often for 1-2 minutes and for even up to 10-15 minutes a couple of times when no choice - bathroom, bringing in and putting away fridge/ freezer items, etc. |
If you walk away and tell her mommy needs to do some work I'm right here and just repeat that she's going go scream for more than 10 or 15 min?
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amother
Slateblue
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:47 pm
Try and talk to her when she cries and you have some work to do. Tell her you're coming, be near her. Then go on the floor play with her / cuddle her for a couple minutes and then go back to your task. Repeat and repeat and hopefully you will be able to build up the intervals that she can play while you work, without needing your attention
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avrahamama
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:48 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | Because spoiling her into controlling your life is better? |
Ouch. I don't think my baby is spoiled and I don't feel controlled.
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:56 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | Because spoiling her into controlling your life is better? | There is no such thing as spoiling a baby. Posts like these scare me.
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avrahamama
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 7:58 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote: | Try and talk to her when she cries and you have some work to do. Tell her you're coming, be near her. Then go on the floor play with her / cuddle her for a couple minutes and then go back to your task. Repeat and repeat and hopefully you will be able to build up the intervals that she can play while you work, without needing your attention |
Ideally this is what I'd like to do but I have a hard time focusing on anything when there is crying and pulling on my skirt. My husband is better at that.
When his siblings come home he is a little less demanding. But BH he's so darn cute I don't even care too much.
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amother
Gray
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 8:02 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | Because spoiling her into controlling your life is better? |
She's an infant. Attending to her needs is not spoiling. Yes, this is a need. No, it's not age appropriate to talk to an infant and explain or ask her to wait. That's better than nothing when there's no choice (mommy needs the bathroom) and it's fine for toddlers for a short time period. Not for infants.
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Stars
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 8:05 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | Because spoiling her into controlling your life is better? |
Babies have no ability to make emotional decisions. As such, they’re not trying to manipulate or control you when they demand your attention. They simply are asking for what they know instinctively they need. They need a lot of love and attention in order to grow up as healthy human beings.
Really. That’s all there is to it.
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amother
cornflower
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 8:05 pm
Maybe try feeding your baby more! I feel that way and then I realize my 10 month old is hungry, tired, wants to nurse, needs a drink, or to be held. They are a baby. Lol....
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 8:13 pm
amother [ cornflower ] wrote: | Maybe try feeding your baby more! I feel that way and then I realize my 10 month old is hungry, tired, wants to nurse, needs a drink, or to be held. They are a baby. Lol.... |
Definitely a possibility, she's not a great eater... But she is fine as long as I'm near her!!
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 8:15 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | If you walk away and tell her mommy needs to do some work I'm right here and just repeat that she's going go scream for more than 10 or 15 min? |
Yes the other day I had to put away the groceries I was talking to her every time I passed her, out to the car, back in, down to the basement freezer, back up. I kept reassuring her and she kept crying.
My Dr agrees with you btw. Says to build up and reassure her I'm coming back. It's just not working in real life
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 8:32 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | There is no such thing as spoiling a baby. Posts like these scare me. |
When babies discover cause and effect you can spoil them. Usually a baby playing on the floor has already reached that milestone.
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yksraya
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Sun, Nov 29 2020, 8:37 pm
I used to put them with toys in the kitchen, when I cooked etc. Or sometimes in the highchair near counter, and I would talk to them while I chop the food etc.
I did as much cleaning etc as possible when they napped.
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