Did your DD get her period earlier than you did?

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:28 pm

especially if you got it early. I want to know if the generations are getting weaker and getting periods earlier or if genetic play a part here.
not so coherent but idk when to teach my girls...

giselle

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:31 pm

My daughter’s dr said many girls are getting it earlier now. I think the best age to discuss it with them is when they turn ten, unless you have reason to think they’ll get it earlier. Even if you have no reason to think they will get it anywhere near ten, that’s the age that many girls know about it and may discuss it among themselves. You want your daughters to hear about it from you.

amother

Brunette

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:32 pm

I hope not. I got mine the 2nd in my class,at age 11.
I hope hope hope my girls will get it a bit later than that.
Especially since I never grew taller than my 11 year old height, and I don't wish that upon them...

Chayalle

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:33 pm

giselle wrote:

Years ago, I took parenting classes with Mrs. Leah Trenk, and she was pretty adamant that a responsible mother MUST tell her girls by the age of 10, regardless of their personal development, for similar reasons.

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:36 pm

I got it at ten. I was spooked completely. I want to tell my girls early but how early? I don't want to burden them with this at 8...
and it was a huge burden for me at ten, trying to hide it, taking pads to camp. it was awful. I'm so scared.

little neshamala

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:37 pm

My mother got it at 16, I got it at 12.
By early 4th grade, (age 9.5) my entire grade was whispering about it, truths and untruths alike. (One girl with many older sisters terrified us all about a shot you need to inject up there. Looking back, she must have been misinformed about tampons but boy were we scared....)
So even though I didnt at all expect my daughter to get it so young, I explained to her all about it when she was 9....specifically so she can hear it from me in a calm, matter of fact way, instead of the whispered versions from her classmates

little neshamala

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You really do not need to tell it to them like a burden.

amother

Brown

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:22 pm

I only have sons, but I did get mine significantly earlier than my mother did. She started at 16 and I started at 11. That said, my father's sisters all also got theirs around 11-12, so it seems I just took after his side of the family. In general, I look more like them, have a similar build to them etc. So it makes sense. Genetics definitely play a role, from either side (just because your child's father doesn't menstruate, doesn't mean his genes can't play a role. They absolutely can.) But it's also true that puberty is happening earlier these days, so that's something to look out for as well.

amother

Wheat

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:24 pm

My daughter is a toddler, but my mom got it at 12.5 and I didn't get it until 15.

Physically I am just completely nothing like my mom. Nothing in common. Not body shape, face shape, coloring, lips, eyes, nothing!!! I would look more like most randomly selected white women than I do like my mother, so it's not surprising that we got our periods at totally different times.

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:27 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

this is fascinating. so should I ask my sister's in law when they started menstruating? never thought of that.
also, what are signs of puberty that usually shows up before period?
I will google it but I'd like to hear first hand jewish moms experiences.

amother

Brown

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yep. Good idea to find out family history from dh's side. Even my pregnancies and births had a lot more in common with my father's sisters than with my mother.

As I mentioned, I don't have any girls, so I honestly don't know. I don't really remember anything specific about myself, though I was already wearing a bra by 10, so that's probably a good indication. My mother did tell me about periods around 10, but said since she was 16 I'd probably be late as well. So I knew it was coming, but we were both shocked when it happened at 11. The doctor wasn't surprised at all, and explained it probably came from my father's side.

LovesHashem

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 2:20 pm

It isn't that our bodies are weaker. It's the the poultry, meat, and dairy are pumped with so much hormones and junk. I'm sure there's other reasons as well that puberty is getting earlier but this is the main one I've heard.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 2:35 pm

I'm not sure what you mean by "weaker". It's mainly decided by genetics, build and nutrition. Diets change over the generations, but as a rule of thumb, girls tend to hit puberty roughly when their body weight reaches 40kg (~85lbs). These days, that often tends to happen younger than in previous decades, due to the modern diet and lifestyle.

For anecdotal purposes, I'll share that I started at 14, as did my DD1 and DD2. DD3 was 11 (and started over a year and a half before DD2 who is 22 months older!). DD3 looks very much like my mother, who also started at 11. I took after my grandmothers, who were both 14. So it very definitely can skip a generation.

zaq

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 3:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

. so should I ask my sister's in law when they started menstruating? never thought of that.
.

PLEASE don't! It's none of your business even though you think it is. Would you appreciate your sil asking you such a question? In this case, maaseh imahot is not necessarily siman labanot, and even less so maaseh dodot.

Google is your friend. So is your gyn and your dd pediatrician. Look at reliable sites such as university medical centers and government agencies, not Pinterest, Facebook or "Lisa's Latest on Women's Health" .

giselle

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 4:00 pm

zaq wrote:

Can’t imagine why it’s not appropriate to ask an adult sister in law when she got her period. I asked one of mine for the very reason being discussed here. I suppose it depends on the relationship you have with them, or if they’re the type to mind.

Last edited by giselle on Tue, Dec 01 2020, 8:26 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Plum

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 4:00 pm

livinginisrael wrote:

I git it at 12. Dd got it at 9.5

Curious did your daughter continue to grow a lot after her period? I’m concerned about my daughter who started developing early and is short.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 7:14 am

giselle wrote:

Can’t imagine why it’s not appropriate to ask an adult sister in law when she got her period. I asked one of mine for the very reason being discussed here. I supposed it depends on the relationship you have with them, or if they’re the type to mind.

I wouldn't mind at all if a SIL or niece asked me.