If your husband works, do you struggle when....

amother

Purple

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 4:44 pm

Professions aside, the goal should be to spend less than you earn. This will allow you to save and avoid falling into debt. I wouldn't worry so much about expenses to marrying off your children. If you can't spend less than you earn you should focus on increasing your income and decreasing expenses. It's as simple as that.

amother

Denim

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 5:06 pm

If you earn 100k you can spend 100k.
If you earn 500k you can spend 500k.

If you want to send your daughters to seminary, you must earn the money for it.

How much does a rebbe earn?
What are your expenses?
How much can you save for seminary, BM...

Work it out for yourself!!

You can only spend what you earn.

It’s irrelevant if other ppl struggle or not.

If you have expensive expectations you have to find a way to fund them.
You can’t go for a low paying career and fulfil your expectations.

Do you want to struggle this much
Or this much.

amother

Seafoam

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 7:45 pm

Hi there OP
my husband is a Rebbi.
I work too, but part time. I earn about 25K a year.
my husband earns about 60k in his job as a Rebbi.
his salary used to be a lot less, but he has been in this job for many years BH and has had his salary raised over the years BH

Yes, it can be done. A few points:
1) depending on your family size, you might be eligible for various benefits. eg wic, probably not food stamps unless you have tons of kids and you dont have a job.
2) your husband would probably get parsonage - a portion of your income would be tax free. Its basically a housing allowance. personally, we get about $24k of my husband's income tax free. That helps
3) a lot of communities have initiatives that help rebbeim, eg free meat for yomtov, a $200 gifcard for yomtov to a kosher food store, etc
4) sometimes rebbeim get good chanukah gifts from students parents. That helps too.
5) you might be able to get free tuition in the school where your husband teaches. Or at least reduced tuition
6) your husband will need to get a summer job to make ends meet.
7) he might also need to take on tutoring or other evening jobs.

bottom line, its not easy, but it is doable.

when we make simchas, we make them tasteful but simple. Haven't made any weddings yet, that might be harder than I think... but our barmitzvahs are not fancy or expensive.

Do not feel bad about your husbands choice. If he is capable of it , he will be doing mitzvos all day, teaching Torah is a great job to have Smile

what a zchus! and life can be easier working in a jewish environment all day.

If you want to ask me more questions, please do and I will try to respond.

Rena K

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 10:33 pm

There has been a lot of activity on the forums recently around making a living. Don't be discouraged. The advice to talk to people in real life is good advice. It might be uncomfortable, but there are a lot of things you might learn irl that won't be discussed on the internet.

If your DH can be a good Rebbi, and you are supportive, kol hakavod. You will earn a lot more schar, and will also receive siyatta dishmaya.

My parents were both in chinuch but they started a side business to pull in extra money. People do it and there are methods and tips you can try to learn.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Violet

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 11:05 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are any of you that are replying to my post have 7 or more kids and husbands are working? Because that's really who I want to hear from?

I guess I'll answer your question.
Do ppl who work and have big families struggle with big expenses?

In our case we're hoping to have 6 ish kids and not planning on struggling iyh.
My husband is an accountant 4 yrs in and makes 120k. We live oot and I work too. It is likely his salary will increase into the 200s and while I do think we will budget it won't be a struggle to make a low key simcha. This month we saved 4800$ bh. So a low key bar mitzvah could be 2 months savings.

So no. Many people who work do not struggle to make simchos.