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Forum -> Parenting our children
Do you say to your children "I love you"
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How often?
Don't think I ever have/don't/wouldn't  
 0%  [ 1 ]
Special occasions-birthday/accomplish something impressive  
 3%  [ 5 ]
Weekly (maybe when you light Shabbos candles  
 3%  [ 5 ]
Daily (at bedtime or before school...)  
 92%  [ 145 ]
Total Votes : 156



amother
Amber


 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 10:04 pm
Multiple times a day, for sure
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 10:08 pm
quality time fills my kids up and it's my dh's strong point as is gifts and acts of service. kids need to know they are loved and they need to have their love tank filled up. growing up I knew my mother loved me by her acts of service, quality time and the smile in her voice when she spoke to me.
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Chana Miriam S




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 10:38 pm
Yes and they are adults.
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realsilver




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 10:54 pm
lk1234 wrote:
But you do agree that this is not normal, correct? Saying I love you to a child is a basic communication - it's like telling a mother that you need to make your kid breakfast. It's basic.


Although on imamother breakfast is apparently also a question! LOL
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amother
Purple


 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 11:41 pm
No. Can't remember the last time I said it to a kid above the age of 10, and only very rarely say it to younger kids.
Sorry to break the lovely bubble here.
They do get hugs and kisses, at least once a day for older kids and usually multiple times a day for younger kids.
They also get plenty of acts of service and random 'thinking of you' gifts, occassional notes under their pillow or in their lunch bag, and praise and thank yous and other words of affirmation, and, and, and...
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mommy2x




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 11:46 pm
Many times a day!!! Kids need it so badly along with actions that prove it. And I rarely heard it growing up, and when I did, I both laughed and cried inside. Laughed how funny it was to hear and sad how I thought it was funny to hear those words when the only thing I felt my parents did for me was clothe, feed and house me. You don't have to love someone for that
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 11:48 pm
All the darn time
At this point my toddler will tell dh “bye! I love you” when leaving the house. It’s the sweetest thing.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2020, 11:48 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
No. Can't remember the last time I said it to a kid above the age of 10, and only very rarely say it to younger kids.
Sorry to break the lovely bubble here.
They do get hugs and kisses, at least once a day for older kids and usually multiple times a day for younger kids.
They also get plenty of acts of service and random 'thinking of you' gifts, occassional notes under their pillow or in their lunch bag, and praise and thank yous and other words of affirmation, and, and, and...

So why don't you say it?
Not a judgement. Just wondering, coming from a woman who ends every phone conversation with her DD (don't have any sons) who is in college with something to the extent of "bye sweetie I love you". And every conversation with my 72 yo mom ends with send my love to dad, have a good night /have a great day, I love you.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 12:04 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So why don't you say it?
Not a judgement. Just wondering, coming from a woman who ends every phone conversation with her DD (don't have any sons) who is in college with something to the extent of "bye sweetie I love you". And every conversation with my 72 yo mom ends with send my love to dad, have a good night /have a great day, I love you.


The every phone call is culture.
The rest is personality.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 12:29 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
The every phone call is culture.
The rest is personality.

You didn't answer my question.
My question is why don't you say it?
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 1:29 am
Many, many times a day. I can't imagine not expressing my love for them. All I have to do is look at them and I am overwhelmed with love. Of course I want them to know that is how I feel. Children deserve unceasing, unconditional love from their parents. A parent feeling that for their kids isn't enough, the child needs to feel it.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 2:36 pm
All day, every day
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amother
Oak


 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 5:01 pm
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
I do all the time. I don't think my dh really does. My kids are very secure in his love. He shows his love in other ways.

I don't mean to interfere, but if I were you I would encourage DH to get comfortable with the phrase and start using it. Children NEED to hear it from both parents, even if they show love in other ways. My father NEVER said those words to me yet. EVER. I say 'yet' because I hope he will someday...
DH definitely is filling the verbal 'I Love You' void:)
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 5:17 pm
andrea levy wrote:
Yes and they are adults.


I'm OLD, and my dad still tells me that he loves me every time we speak.

I tell me kids as well, every time they leave or come home. When we say goodnight. And otherwise.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 5:24 pm
Really hard for me to say. I love them but it doesn't feel natural to say it. I still do say it every once in a while but get butterflies. DH says it maybe once every few years to a child but he loves them.
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