Can't keep up | Imamother

amother

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 6:16 pm

Anyone else feel like this?
There's always this huge list of stuff I need to buy to look decent.
This season I bought myself three new weekday outfits (I work pretty much f/t) - and I really buy only bargains. I desperately needed a new handbag ($120), which I bought, bought minimal weekday clothes for kids, 1 shabbos outfit, shoes for each kid (Shabbos and weekday), one pair of weekday shoes for myself.
And then I bought two-three really cheap accessories for myself.
A coat for just one of my kids.
And gloves and hats for the kids.

And I feel that as much as I shop, and as much as I spend (and I really look for inexpensive stuff - sometimes I do splurge), there are always another whole lot of items waiting to be bought - and I feel I really need them.

I'm desperate for a new pair of boots, pair of Shabbos shoes, Shabbos dress for simchos (a few coming up). I can really use a new coat, a pair of gloves, a scarf, something to dangle from my wrist (no major expectations there) another few pairs of socks for each kid, a whole bunch of new pants for the boys, more weekday clothes for my kids so I don't have to wash laundry so often, more pjs for the kids. Is this normal?
Am I too needy? Or what?

How does everyone manage to make looking good look so effortless?

TravelHearter

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 6:34 pm

I buy what I need and sometimes what I want. I prioritize, and buy accordingly. I also buy a couple of black basic skirts (these should last more than one season so at this point I have more than what I bought this year). Shells last me a few years. Tops, I get a few new and the rest from the previous year, and you can look put together and even fashionable for decent prices. Styles don’t change that drastically that you need a new wardrobe every season/year. Shabbos stuff, I buy what I need new and even extra because I buy myself some things for yom tov, and again, things last from previous years.
I’m in my low twenty’s.
Shoes is the same- a good pair of each type needed (shabbos, weekday, boots etc). This year I had to get weekday shoes bc those get trashed after one season. But boots, I don’t where often where I live, so whatever is in my closet. Etc.
Kids you can do this way as well- buy whatever they need for x number of days. It’s up to you to figure out how often you REALISTICALLY do laundry and get a couple of extra beyond that. But you don’t need two weeks worth of clothing for each kid.
Accessories for myslef- gifts from DH. Birthday, anniversary, each yom tov...that’s when I’ll get something (and not spend a lot! Swarovski has great prices!)

Last edited by TravelHearter on Thu, Dec 03 2020, 6:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 6:43 pm

TravelHearter wrote:

Kids you can do this way as well- buy whatever they need for x number of days. It’s up to you to figure out how often you REALISTICALLY buy laundry and get a couple of extra beyond that. But you don’t need two weeks worth of clothing for each kid.

I did that. I like to have at least six sets. But guess what, most of what I have was nixed by them - they're rotating three sets - so I really need to give away what they dont' wear and buy new stuff.

You're right with everything - but it adds up -just a new this and that and the other... I can basically shop my whole life.

TravelHearter

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 6:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I hear you! I find myself always looking at sales online. Trying to stop- even though it’s sale stuff for next season.
Why don’t you just shop twice a year? Right before winter and summer spend a week or two outfitting everyone- and get your kids approval before buying stuff for them. Or you can return once they try it on and don’t like it.
That way you have what you need and aren’t always in that headspace...

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 7:35 pm

To me it doesn't look effortless! It looks like people spent time and money on their wardrobes.
Here's my trick:
Chunky or fitted knot sweaters, cardigans and turtlenecks (they last a few seasons); I like Mango, Nordstrom/Rack, Saks Off Fifth, H&M
Black skirts (I have 4, none of them new, most of them 2+ years old)
Denim skirt(s)
One or two printed/colored skirts for black tops
Tights-didn't buy new this year
Shells- replace every few years
Shoes- boots/booties usually last a while; I buy sturdy weekday shoes that are comfortable but may need to be replaced each year
Shabbos shoes- I don't wear them so hard, so I don't need to replace that often
Bracelet- I wear a hand-me-down from my mother in law Smile

same one each day. Maybe google search to find something you like.
Black leather small crossbody/belt bag
Huge sunglasses
Winter jacket-had for 4+ years already
Medium weight jacket- just found one at Nordstrom rack this year
Gloves- check our Banana republic or JCrew or Saks off Fifth or Nordstrom/Rack.

I don't buy anything too trendy, because I want it to last a few seasons.
Also, in the summer I don't look good because I sweat a lot so hate wearing a sheitel and tights, so I wear long skirts and a tichel, and it's hard to find tznius yet flattering lightweight tops...

Kids:
Boys:
6 pairs of blue / black / gray pants (or denim and black leggings for younger boys)
6 sweaters or sweatshirts or long sleeved t shirts (have your kids view them online before purchasing)
6 short sleeved tees
A few mid weather tees
Socks underwear tzitzis undershirts

Girls:
My girl is a baby 🙈 No advice yet.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 8:21 pm

Honestly, I love fashion, especially for my kids. I buy a lot every season. I buy my kids a mixture of high end frum stores and Zara.
My husband thinks that it’s normal because it’s just what we’ve always done so he leaves that whole budget up to me.
There’s all types, some of you out there would think I’m crazy, but I love it. Just being honest.

SuperWify

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 8:39 pm

I buy twice a season. Makes life much more easy.

3 shabbos outfits pre-yom tov. 5-7 pants and shirts.

A couple months later when everything goes on sale I’ll order more shirts and pants.

I’m happy I did that because my son grew so much his pants are already small! I ordered now 3 pairs on Black Friday sale as well as 3 new tops. All in the next size.

As for myself I buy a few new pieces beginning of the season. Shoes I’ll try to buy when I see on sale and not all together to stagger costs.

SuperWify

Thu, Dec 03 2020, 8:42 pm

As for a weekday bracelet- dh bought me a gold one few years ago but the stones just fell out and it wasn’t worth replacing. I sold it (not for a lot, just the gold worth) and put the money towards a new silver one instead. It was $100. I actually gave the box to my dh (scared him- he thought it was real gold Smile

) and told him to give it to me for Chanukah. Can’t wait to “receive” it because my wrist feels quite bare.