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How to tell the kids about the move



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Dec 04 2020, 8:18 am
So we still have months to go but I’m already thinking about my kids reaction. I have a 9,8 and 5 year old. They’ve been to Israel once but they were very young so they don’t remember. They have a grandmother, aunt and uncle over there that they speak to. So they know how nice israel is because I grew up over there so they hear my stories. But when we had to go together to the embassy for passports, they kept on saying they only want to go to Israel for a visit, not to live there mainly because they know that kids have school on Sundays 😆. Also they speak Hebrew but not as fluent as Israelis in their grade so my eldest told me he doesn’t want to forget English. I know they’re very comfortable right now on their school, they have friends and even if we move to a new city, they’ll complain because they got used to their school and don’t like changes. I know it’s a big move and will be difficult but I also know it is the right move and we’re actually moving for them. So how should I tell them? Every child is different, I remember I wasn’t upset when my parents told me we’re moving to the US when I was a teenager, however, we’ve moved many times in Israel so I was used to it.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Fri, Dec 04 2020, 8:24 am
Personally, I would’ve gotten them on board as soon as the decision to move was finalized. Telling them just a couple months before such a huge move isn’t fair, IMO. I know they’re young, but I think they should’ve also had some time to build up to moving and you could’ve made it a family thing, like crossing out dates on the calendar, telling them about where you’re going to live, etc.

But that’s just me.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 04 2020, 8:35 am
I agree with the previous poster wrote. The decision to make aliyah should be something that is talked about for years and if not, then months. This type of move is one that kids, no matter how toung or old, need to want to move. Yes, the ypunger ones will adapt, but a 9 year old and a 6 year old could really go both ways.
I think if you are planning on moving soon you have to tell them already yesterday. And keep on talking about it, make it this amazing positive experience they are going to be going on.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Fri, Dec 04 2020, 9:38 am
agree
as for sundays...acknowledge yes it is a big change
at the same time the hours of school are also shorter afaik
encourage looking at the big picture
not apples to apples
not always easy for kids to do however and if they are happy with their friends and schools makes sense that they are not eager to change -- quite normal
validate their feelings, ways to keep in touch, brainstorm, and talk it out
do they know any kids there?
will you be living near your family?
can you find ways to work on their hebrew fluency?
you can do whatever possible to familiarize them with where you will be living etc
the more familiar and open the better
much of a kid's reaction depends upon individual factors, so the reality that you were not upset does not factor in to their reaction .
kids who are happy usually do not want change

what can you do to get them to "buy in"?

telling them it is for their benefit even if it is is not going to help them
try to look at it from their eyes for best approach
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Dec 04 2020, 11:57 am
Thanks for the advice. We’re not moving till the summer but I guess I will tell them soon so they’ll have time to adjust it. I think I’ll have to come up with advantaged moving to Israel so they’ll see why it’s better to move. They just never moved before... especially to a different country.
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