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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
Silver
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Tue, Dec 08 2020, 12:04 am
shanie5 wrote: | I had gone to the OBGYN for a regular checkup. I was in my 9th month. The Dr. listened for the heartbeat with his stethescope. He moved it around a lot. Then he put it on a monitor so that I could hear what he heard. So I could slowly come to the realization that he couldn't find the heartbeat. He didn't confirm it, but sent me for a sonogram. While the tech was working, he asked why I was sent (this was over 30 years ago an sonograms were not routine in pregnancy). I said "Dr. couldn't hear the heartbeat". The tech responded "what he's not hearing, I'm not seeing".
For me, this was a very gentle way of letting me understand that my baby was no longer alive. I have always appreciated the way they eased me into it. |
I'm reminded of my miscarriages, the sonographers themselves were always so thoughtful and caring.
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heidi
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Tue, Dec 08 2020, 12:32 am
I had to tell my daughter and sister about someone they were close to who had died.
I didn't know the person and that really helped me be able to give the news and then be there for them. Let them cry and question while I could tried to comfort the people I love while not personally grieving.
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amother
Sapphire
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Tue, Dec 08 2020, 1:58 am
Geulanow, this is such an important and helpful thread. Thank you for starting it - we can all learn so much.
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amother
Maroon
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Tue, Dec 08 2020, 4:14 am
I also like the idea of a one line leadup. And then the news in a direct, yet calm and comforting manner.
I have bad news.
xx died last night.
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PinkFridge
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Tue, Dec 08 2020, 9:41 am
cbsp wrote: | I have a relative that DH calls the "grim reaper" for that reason. Especially when they call at 7am. |
That sounds similar to the "joy spreaders" as we used to call them.
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