How much is your check amount for wedding present

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:38 pm

newima wrote:

$100 for friends, neighbors etc...
$180 Close family and friends
$500 immediate family and best friends

As someone who married off a child recently, I sincerely hope that none of the guests gave such generous gifts as I would not be able to afford to give such large amounts in return, if anything at all.

amother

Purple

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:50 pm

newima wrote:

$100 for friends, neighbors etc...
$180 Close family and friends
$500 immediate family and best friends

wow. I guess you earn a lot more than us....
I don't have extra cash for gifts like that. The most I will ever give is $36. But then again, we're a family of 9 earning under $100k and paying as much tuition as we can manage... and I always have to save up to buy things that I want that are non-necessities. for example, I cant just go into the Judaica store and buy myself a book. That's just not in the budget. Cleaning help is 2 hours a week, that's $30 a week...
so how would I have extra to give such big gifts....

just writing all this because I m now feeling so bad. I gave two people checks for $36 for wedding gifts recently. Do you think they think Im mean? when really, I could barely afford to give that much... Sad

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:57 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

just writing all this because I m now feeling so bad. I gave two people checks for $36 for wedding gifts recently. Do you think they think Im mean? when really, I could barely afford to give that much... Sad

Chas veshalom you should feel bad.
You should never spend more than you can afford.
I personally give bigger checks as a wedding gift, if someone I thought couldn’t afford it gave me back a big check I would feel terrible- the point is to share my Simcha, not to get back my money.
In any case, Simcha gifts are very much dependent on your social circle and neighborhood.
If you think people in your neighborhood give larger sums, maybe I’d just buy a small gift and wrap it nicely with a nice card. Instead of a check. The thought is really what matters.

amother

Plum

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:59 pm

We usually give 100 per person attending (if DH and I both go, we'd do 200). If it was family/super close friends maybe I'd do 150-200/attendee. But in our circles they don't invite the whole world to every simcha so we usually have a relationship with the family and we don't go to *that many weddings.

amother

Plum

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 3:04 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

Not at all. This is very area/community dependent. Plus when we went through gifts for our wedding all we thought was "aww, Mrs. X gave us a gift! What a pretty card!" Maybe if the gift was unusually generous, we'd comment, but there's no reason to feel bad for giving within your means.

LovesHashem

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 3:04 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

wow. I guess you earn a lot more than us....
I don't have extra cash for gifts like that. The most I will ever give is . But then again, we're a family of 9 earning under k and paying as much tuition as we can manage... and I always have to save up to buy things that I want that are non-necessities. for example, I cant just go into the Judaica store and buy myself a book. That's just not in the budget. Cleaning help is 2 hours a week, that's a week...
so how would I have extra to give such big gifts....

just writing all this because I m now feeling so bad. I gave two people checks for for wedding gifts recently. Do you think they think Im mean? when really, I could barely afford to give that much... Sad

Not at all. I got gifts from 50 shekels to hundreds or even over 1000 shekels. I was grateful for every single one and appreciated them all equally. I assume people give what they can.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 3:26 pm

It really depends on your community. When my daughter got married, we didnt expect to receive money gifts. Some people still did, but there was no set amount. I was especially touched to receive a 18$ from an acquaintance accompanied by a beautiful letter.
On the other hand, her chosson comes from a more modern and intowny community, where people are expected to litterally pay for their seat, at least 250 per couple attending. But people who cant afford it dont go to chasunas! I think its such a shame!

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 3:44 pm

I give more to family and close friends. If their kids are in school or the chosson learning and the kallah isn't a doctor-lawyer-accountant I give more than if the chosson is a dentist and the kallah is a CPA. Also depends on whether we attend chuppah only or the meal, and how many of us attend.

Crookshanks

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 5:02 pm

I got married recently...Most checks were between $18-$54, some up to $100. I consider $100 to be very generous unless you're rich or it's very very close family/friends.

amother

Gray

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 5:12 pm

Crookshanks wrote:

I got married recently...Most checks were between $18-$54, some up to $100. I consider $100 to be very generous unless you're rich or it's very very close family/friends.

Yeah me too. $100 is super generous in my opinion.