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Mitzvahmom
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Sun, Feb 03 2008, 4:00 pm
I had my meeting with my homeopath today.... she wanted to do some meditation...
This is one of the poems she read to help us calm...etc.. I found it really touching and true for most of us.. Especially divorcee's that find ourselves in that void looking for the next stable swinging of a Trapeze
Quote: | Fear of Transformation
Sometimes I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I’m either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along, or, for a few moments in my life, I’m hurtling across space in between trapeze bars.
Most of my time I spend my life hanging on for dear life to my trapeze-bar-of-the-moment. It carries me along a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I’m in control of my life. I know most of the right questions and even some of the right answers. But once and awhile, as I’m merrily swinging along, I look ahead of me into the distance, and what do I see? I see another trapeze bar swinging toward me. It’s empty, and I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new trapeze bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me. I know in my heart that for me to grow, I must release my grip on the present well-known bar to move to the new one.
Each time it happens to me, I hope or pray that I won’t have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place I know that I must totally release my grip on my old bar, and for some moments in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar. Each time I am filled with terror. It doesn’t matter that in all my previous hurtles across the void of unknowing I have always made it. Each time I am afraid I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between the bars. But I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of that the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow, to keep hanging onto that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives. And so for an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of “the past is gone, the future is not yet here.” It’s called transition. I have come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs. I mean real change, not the pseudo-change that only lasts until the next time my old buttons get pushed.
I have noticed that, in our culture, this transition zone is looked upon a “no-thing”, a no-place between places. Sure, the old trapeze bar was real, and that new one coming towards me, I hope that’s real too. But the void in between? That’s just a scary, confusing, disorienting “nowhere” that must be gotten through as fast and as unconsciously as possible. What a waste! I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing, and the bars are illusions we dream up to avoid the void, where the real change, the real growth occurs for us. Whether or not my hunch is true, it remains that the transition zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honored, even savored. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out of control that can accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, the most growth filled, passionate, expansive moments of our lives.
And so, transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather with giving ourselves permission to “hang out” in the place between trapeze bars. Transforming our need to grab that new bar, any bar, is allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens. It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening, in the true sense of the work. Hurtling through the void, we may just learn to fly. |
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chocolate moose
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Mon, Feb 11 2008, 4:07 pm
Oh ? are you OK with that ?
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