Will it just happen eventually? I’m losing it.

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 6:20 am

I give up. DD is 3.5, not toilet trained. I tried EVERYTHING! I mean everything. Leaving her naked, potty watch, prizes, charts, treats, all of it. She’s gotten better and the watch was the thing that worked the most. But she still will not stay dry all day. She’s in pull ups (I know I know but her morah won’t let her go to school in underwear if she’s not fully trained and if I do diapers she won’t even try for the bathroom) When she makes a dirty diaper she’ll ask to be changed (which I guess is an improvement as she used to be content just sitting in it) Will she just decide one day to do it? What more should I do? I’m losing it.

amother

Linen

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 6:27 am

My son was 4 when he just decided he will start using the potty, tried everything also since he was 2.5. He likes to use the kid potty insert over the toilet and a step stool for his feet. He refuses to wear underwear, now I'm waiting for him to one day say ok to that...good luck

amother

Amber

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 6:28 am

I was also losing it. One session with a pelvic PT and 95% solved.
Best thing we ever did.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 6:29 am

Do you put her in big girl panties when she's at home?

In the summer I put DD in panties, and at first we had 5 accidents a day, then 4, then 3, and by the end of the week she was completely trained.

I did a lot of mopping and wiping down the carpet, but it was worth it. (Use enzyme cleaner that you buy at the pet store, that's used specifically for removing urine odors. It works amazingly well.)

Your DD may have ADD, and gets so involved with what she is doing that she's not aware of her body cues. That's why the watch reminders are so important.

Doctors won't even evaluate kids for issues until they are around 5 or 6. Some kids just have immature nerves and muscles down there, and it takes time for them to develop.

If she says she doesn't have to go, bring some books with you and sit in the bathroom with her. Read books to her until she is completely involved in the story. She'll relax, and then she'll go in the toilet. DD had been really constipated and afraid to poop, but once she saw that it wasn't scary, that was the end of the problem. We also got more fruit in her diet, which cleared up the constipation.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 7:01 am

It's hard but you gotta keep trying. My daughter got toilet trained successfully at around that age as well (after 3 previous attempts.)

Makehumusnotwar

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 7:01 am

Ds was 4 years old before he finally agreed to use the toilet. I was nearly hysterical (which probably didn't help much), but this child is very strong-willed and just utterly refused to even talk about using the toilet.

Eventually one day he decided on his own that he wanted to do it, and was almost 100% trained from that day on. Go figure!

Btw, pediatrician was not at all concerned and said that some kids just take longer.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 7:11 am

Kids deveop at their own pace. Give her time. All healthy kids get there eventually, and in the long run it makes no difference when a child was trained.

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 7:01 pm

Both my kids were 3.5
I couldn’t make them do it sooner

SuperWify

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 7:07 pm

Hugs!! I felt this way 1 month ago. I was ready to give up. His morah said not to stop. She took him religiously every half hour. At home we tried to do the same but he resisted.

Long story short... hundreds of accidents, bribes, threats and tears later we are at a much better point. He Bh doesn’t resist now and will even sometimes tell me when he needs to go.

It’s a struggle and it’s real. I feel you!!

amother

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 7:54 pm

Thanks everyone. Thing is, DD was born with kidney problems. Well only know the extent of the damage to her kidney and weather or not she requires surgery once she’s toilet trained so I’m quite anxious. (Making sure though that she does NOT sense my anxiety.) I wonder if it’s possible that she just went through so much with that area, catheters, VCUG etc when she was a baby that’s subconsciously she’s trying to protect herself? I dont know of what I’m saying makes sense...

daughterofgod

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 7:57 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That can actually be related.
But again kids grow at their own pace.
Also, not sensing your anxiety is kinda like impossible. I sensed it so fast.

amother

Ivory

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 8:06 pm

Also wearing pull ups during the day slows things down. But I understand why the Morah wants them.

amother

Blush

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 9:05 pm

I know exactly how you feel. Turns out DD was constipated even though she was pooping regulary. That is actually the number 1 cause of potty issues. We needed to clean her out completely and saw immediate results bh. Dr explained to me that when they are constipated they can't feel if they need to go so leads to accidents.

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