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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:02 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | You're misunderstanding. For lying, grounding for a weekend would be normal. Grounding all summer is something that will likely damage a teen so it's super controlling because it's preferring to damage your child than allow them to lie to you.
It would have been just bad circumstance for me IF I didn't have the option of getting a job at a summer camp or of going to a relative's for the summer, but those were both free, safe options that my mother refused because she didn't want to relinquish complete control over me |
Relative lived in the city surrounded by places like McDonald's where I would have very likely been able to get a summer job. Not super exciting or meaningful, but I believe it would have kept me busy enough that I wouldn't have developed depression and sleep addiction which I developed that summer.
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Raisin
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Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:50 am
I don't know anyone who grounds their children.
Your mother sounds awful. I am sorry you experienced that.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 28 2020, 9:11 am
Raisin wrote: | I don't know anyone who grounds their children.
Your mother sounds awful. I am sorry you experienced that. |
Thank you for the validation.
This thread has gone so much off topic I might ask for it to be deleted. I didn't mean for it to become about my past. I just wanted to say "we all agree that the Covid lockdown is harmful to mental health, so please don't voluntarily do the same thing to your kids".
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cnc
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Mon, Dec 28 2020, 9:30 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thank you for the validation.
This thread has gone so much off topic I might ask for it to be deleted. I didn't mean for it to become about my past. I just wanted to say "we all agree that the Covid lockdown is harmful to mental health, so please don't voluntarily do the same thing to your kids". |
Thank you for spreading the awareness. I agree.
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DVOM
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Tue, Dec 29 2020, 3:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thank you for the validation.
This thread has gone so much off topic I might ask for it to be deleted. I didn't mean for it to become about my past. I just wanted to say "we all agree that the Covid lockdown is harmful to mental health, so please don't voluntarily do the same thing to your kids". |
I'm so sorry for what you went through. Long term grounding sounds awful. I can understand why the lockdown brought you back to that painful time.
I just want to point out that not everyone's experiences of the lockdown were the same.
Having no trauma associated with being forced to stay home, my family and I really loved it. I'm thrilled that my kids are back at school and so are they; I love the structure and routine, and I love the peaceful alone time school gives me, my kids missed their friends and the stimulation and action of school. But the covid lockdown was not damaging for us. We baked, we hiked, we built huts out of logs and twine in the woods, we made nightly bonfires in our backyard, we went to every beach within an hour from home and collected thousands of seashells, we built massive things out of blocks, we followed the course of the Revolutionary War by visiting just about every state park in NJ and dressed up like General Washington and his troops, we went camping for weeks on end. It was sometimes boring and we got on each others nerves, and the pandemic itself was scary, but the lockdown was a chance for us to take life at a different, slower pace and to spend some wonderful time together.
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amother
Babyblue
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Tue, Dec 29 2020, 3:31 am
Grounding is unfair for two reasons. One is what was already mentioned, and the other is that it doesn't affect people equally. For example, if two siblings, an introvert who never goes out and an extravert who goes out with friends every day do the same thing and get grounded for it, it's not equal.
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