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How much does a wedding cost
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What was the cost of your child’s wedding
Less than 10,000  
 5%  [ 5 ]
$10-20k  
 12%  [ 12 ]
$20-30k  
 16%  [ 16 ]
$30-40k  
 16%  [ 16 ]
$40-50k  
 15%  [ 15 ]
$60-80k  
 22%  [ 22 ]
$80-100k  
 12%  [ 12 ]
Total Votes : 98



Cookin4days




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 3:21 pm
amother [ Salmon ] wrote:
It's cultural. My friend married into a Sephardic NY family, and she said they "needed" to have high end catering, because the guests bring their checkbooks to the wedding, and, based on how nice of a wedding it is, they will decide how much of a check to write out and give....

What in the world??
I’m Sephardic from NY and I have never heard of such a thing in my life. First off you don’t write the check at the wedding that’s just tacky, you write the check before you go and no one does it based on how nice a wedding is. If anything you do it based on your relationship with those getting married
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 3:23 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
$60,000 was for my side - like I said was not just flop and kallah gifts. Was also aufruf and outfitting everyone.

Yes it’s alot of money...
Surprised How much was the girls side? Was it split evenly also 60,000?
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 4:09 pm
For our wedding my parents paid the regular $30k they spend at every wedding. This was a intown tristate area wedding. My parents are very careful spenders and I got lots of housewares and gifts and some cost price from organizations.

My fil wanted it nicer so he spent about $100k on upgrades (liqueur, famous singer and band, extra hot food). He also paid our furniture, very expensive gifts for me, fancy catered shabbos sheva brachos and flights.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 4:13 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
Surprised How much was the girls side? Was it split evenly also 60,000?


I have no idea how much the other side spent. We did flop, gifts, aufruf. They did basic furniture and we did car.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 4:18 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
We bh just made a wedding in bklyn.
We’re the boys side.
Total including everything - was about $60,000.
I used halls flowers for tables but did fresh for behind kallahs chair.
This includes clothing, aufruf, gifts to kallah (bracelet, ring, machzorim, siddur, earings, yichud room necklace) outfitting our family if 10 kah - I also treated myself to a piece of jewelry (which I never did before) this also included my sons ticket back from yeshiva in eretz yisroel.
Everyone will have diff expenses - total everything this is what it cost us.
Yeshivish/ balabatush
What was the breakdown?
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 4:43 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Now I'm getting nervous reading these amounts. Where does the money come from if you have no savings?! Bh my dh works but between all the expenses we could never ever afford this.

You do you. you dont have to spend that much. I am from OOT and it came out much cheaper even with travel expenses to do a full package lakewood wedding for 15k- that included EVERYTHING on the wedding day and it was split between both sides. and the hall was beautiful. I felt like a queen. Also- it helps to look into shidduchim of ppl in the same social standards when possible. that way you are on the same page...
my gown was 800 and that was a real splurge and included all alterations. got Sheva brachos clothes on sale etc.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 5:48 pm
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
My wedding, 16 years ago, cost me 30k. My dress was 5k and the hall / food was 25k. My husband's side paid for the photographer, benchers, band, flowers and any guests above the first 250. They also paid for wine per table. I would say they paid a total of 10k. So figure about 40k, 16 years ago. I personally paid my side from a yerusha (and because I actually had no family to pay) but my husband's mother paid his side. I didn't get any bridal gifts, like a lecht or pearls, either so its not like we spent a lot on extras. For my own kids (I have 3), I am estimating that each wedding will be approximately 30-40k for our half. If the cost of the wedding is less, then there's money for a downpayment on their house. I'm not planning to pay for college or grad school. No one paid for that for me and I did alright in this world...New York area wedding, btw.


You would say the Chosson's side paid 10k for all that? You're probably wrong. If silk flowers were not included in price of hall and they needed a florist, if you had photography and video, if there was more than a one man band even if it was just a one man band and a singer- then they easily went over 10k before paying for wine, benchers and extra guests. People make a mistake thinking flop is cheap. It often costs more than the caterer.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 5:54 pm
Cookin4days wrote:
What in the world??
I’m Sephardic from NY and I have never heard of such a thing in my life. First off you don’t write the check at the wedding that’s just tacky, you write the check before you go and no one does it based on how nice a wedding is. If anything you do it based on your relationship with those getting married

That's what my friend told me. But, she was new to those circles at those times, so maybe she misunderstood. I did see people handing checks to her new husband, though.
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finprof




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 7:08 pm
11 years ago, 60 guests at the Saint Louis JCC with a dairy buffet for $7k. My Father in law was the photographer, DJ= computer, I did my own makeup and, dress=Ebay (from a Mormon, no alterations $250). Why spend so much on 1 day? This was to much IMHO but it made the parents happy. 4 kids, 2 houses, several states and jobs later and we regret nothing.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 7:25 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
You do you. you dont have to spend that much. I am from OOT and it came out much cheaper even with travel expenses to do a full package lakewood wedding for 15k- that included EVERYTHING on the wedding day and it was split between both sides. and the hall was beautiful. I felt like a queen. Also- it helps to look into shidduchim of ppl in the same social standards when possible. that way you are on the same page...
my gown was 800 and that was a real splurge and included all alterations. got Sheva brachos clothes on sale etc.


Fabulous! Which hall in Lakewood?
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GLUE




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 7:41 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Cheapest wedding in Lakewood in Bais faiga

Hall Rental $2500 (Of Which $1,700 Is paid By The Kallah Side and $800 To Be Paid By The Chosson Side)
Music and Photography $2500
$5,000 Plus Tax Catering Charge
(Kallah’s Side Pays $6,700 and The Chosson’s Side Pays $3,300)

Price Is Based On A Maximum Of 300 Adults & 20 Kids

My wedding OOT was 30k. And not fancy (no flowers, no bar...). Everything is just much more OOT so it’s hard to compare.

Carona did not bring prices down. Venues are more. Catering is more. You pay way more per person overall.


What about Ateres Malka? My brother got married there last summer it costs less then $6,000 for both sides, you could only have about 150 pp. Is it still open?
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 8:43 pm
I got married in a fancy hall in Bnei Brak

Wedding was split with in laws and parents, each spent 10k. Our side ended up paying closer to 17 which included our flights, my sheitals, my dress, my mother's dress, makeup, an air bnb for the shabbos my family stayed
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 9:44 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Now I'm getting nervous reading these amounts. Where does the money come from if you have no savings?! Bh my dh works but between all the expenses we could never ever afford this.


Many times the wife works and most of the paycheck goes to savings. That’s our plan iyh.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 9:49 pm
GLUE wrote:
What about Ateres Malka? My brother got married there last summer it costs less then $6,000 for both sides, you could only have about 150 pp. Is it still open?


It’s not really used for weddings because it’s smaller then most ppl need. It is cheaper.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Tue, Dec 29 2020, 10:37 pm
Op, 2 questions:

Are you asking how much for each side or total for both sides?

Do you mean just the wedding day itself, or everything in the whole engagement, including shadchan, vort, kids clothing, apartment?

For wedding itself it was about 7-8K each side.
But total for everything we spent about 40-50K each side.

That included:
shadchan
l'chaim/vort
kallah teacher
gown
clothing for kallah/shaitels
clothing for rest of family
furniture
housewares/appliances
gifts for chosson
wedding
shabbos sheva brachos
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 07 2024, 6:10 am
Bumping this up, post covid. I read that it really costs 100k all in each side and was curious to see if imamother had a poll. Can we update this with more votes?
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amother
Pansy


 

Post Sun, Jan 07 2024, 6:14 am
80k
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Sun, Jan 07 2024, 6:26 am
I am starting to make a wedding now. I am as frugal as people come. I cannot see a wedding costing less than 80K and I am beyond nauseous. (FYI I bought my dress on clearance for $190 but will need alterations to make tznius, DD is looking at the gemach where they changed $350 for cleanings and no rental fee. It will still be 80K. I cannot find anything less expensive than $138 pp and a 350 person minimum. I will need to rent a badekin chair ($?) and a chuppah (chuppah is $600 before flowers and it needs flowers). This will spiral out of control, there is no way it won’t. I work to hard to throw money away like this on a 4-5 hour party. I wish I could make a Covid wedding and give the kids the cash to start their life.
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 07 2024, 6:34 am
If you don't mind specifying in town vs out of town, I'd be curious
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amother
Hyssop


 

Post Sun, Jan 07 2024, 6:40 am
Moonlight wrote:
If you don't mind specifying in town vs out of town, I'd be curious


And Lakewood vs elsewhere. Smokey posted $138 pp 350 person minimum which is 48 k
In Lakewood you can do a takanah wedding for 30 k
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