Do you ever feel like walking away??

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Forum -> Household Management

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amother

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 11:59 am

Especially if you never go away or get invited for shabbos/have no family nearby or that is frum to go to. Do you ever feel like you just can't skip a bit and just don't want to make shabbos, go grocery shopping. That you have had it of constant grind. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. But I really just want some time to myself. But not just a little time. I am like a major burnout case!

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 12:01 pm

Yep.

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 12:05 pm

Sure. I always threaten to run away.

amother

Cobalt

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 12:07 pm

ALL.THE.TIME.

amother

Blue

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 12:15 pm

Yep. And I just started my second trimester. I wish I could just lay in bed today.

My house is not in good shape. And I'm lowering allllll my standards right now.

One crock pot for dinner. One crock pot for lunch. Quick vacuum. Move on.

thunderstorm

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 12:24 pm

Absolutely!

honeymoon

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 12:33 pm

Most definitely. Is there anyone that can do it all day every day and not feel burnt out? I'd like to have a chat with said superwoman.

Thank heavens for helpful husbands.. Wink

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 12:33 pm

Yes today!!
And I don't even have so much to do, BH I (and my kids!) did a lot last night. But I was up 4 times with the baby last night and I just have no energy to do anything.

amother

Olive

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 1:08 pm

Please prioritize your self care. Do not allow burn out. Take a shabbos off, have kids & dh plan and get ready made or make stuff they know how.

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 1:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That’s the time to buy all takeout food, disposable nice dishes, don’t do any cooking or baking or washing and take it easy.

Motherhood

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 1:18 pm

Yes. Buy shabbos food and and rent a hotel room or Airbnb near you.

happy chick

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 1:23 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Sure. I always threaten to run away.

Same. But somehow, nobody ever gets scared 🙄

itsmeima

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 1:31 pm

Same here! It's this vicious cycle of cooking and cleaning 🤦‍♀️

tweety1

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 2:28 pm

Pretty often if I may say so. I feel like I'm cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids, cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids. Bh for my blessings, but it sometimes gets to me.

amother

Pewter

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 2:30 pm

Yup. Story of life. And I can't afford an Airbnb with a full takeout shabbos. I want to just go to my parents for shabbos and have the headache be someone else's.

Malkqueen

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 2:44 pm

Shabbos prep isn't that big a deal for me. But the household chores throughout the week feel like an ocean I can't swim through. Lowering my standards doesn't lower the pile of laundry to be washed. Minimizing my expectations doesn't minimize the pots in the sink. I could feel like running away, but the house patiently waits for my return...

DH is as helpful as he can possibly be, but he's culinary-illiterate and laundry-dyslexic. Still wouldn't trade him (or the mess) for another life.

amother

Ivory

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 2:57 pm

Yes. Your feelings are totally normal. I feel like that too.

I’ve decided we’re doing super simple meals these days. I’m so over cooking.

This shabbos is instant pot Mac n cheese for dinner, microwave steamed veggies and some tomato soup I’m defrosting from the freezer. And cheesy garlic bread from the freezer. Dinner will seriously be ready in about 30-40 minutes.

Shabbos lunch tomorrow are peanut-butter sandwiches and egg salad. And hummus and pita chips. Plus whatever veggies are left to use up. I threw bread ingredients in my bread machine & pressed a button - fresh loaf of sandwich bread in 3 hrs. Will make a quick batch of hummus in my food processor. Eggs I just made in the instant pot. That’s it. Minimal work. My picky eaters are all fed. (My family are not big meat eaters and nobody wanted meat this week).

I also have weekly help for big household cleaning.

I also make kids help with cleaning and chores too. My big kid(s) help with laundry/dishes. The preschooler(s) help with cleaning up their toys and sweeping.... etc.

I’m doing grocery delivery or curb side pickup as much as possible to avoid going in stores.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 5:40 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Oh my gosh, your friday night meal sounds like my dream come true! Amazing!!!!!! I want to come!

If I served milchigs on Shabbos, (I barely get away with it on Yom Tov) I would probably get the Official Warning Before Divorce from my husband, who thinks Moshe Rabbeinu said "you shall keep the Sabbath and also have four types of meat, chicken, and fish, or you might as well be off the derech."

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 5:42 pm

I think what gets to me is that I'm always the one who's expected to come up with all the food. I have to plan, I have to shop, I have to cook it, and I have to serve it to everyone the way they like it, and have alternates for all my picky eaters.

Like, can someone just plan a meal for ME once in a while?! I go out for a meal maybe once a year.

amother

Denim

Fri, Jan 01 2021, 6:01 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

I had a husband like that too, but I told him that whoever cooks is in charge of the menu. He took over the cooking briefly (which was great!), but he found it not worth the effort and left me in charge again. We often have milchig for shabbos because I prefer it, and over the years he has come around.

I am happy to take requests for what to serve, but ultimately I do what works for me since I’m the one cooking. Any adult who doesn’t like it is welcome to make themselves something else. Little kids I’ll make something simple different like a sandwich if they don’t want what’s on offer.

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