Holding it in | Imamother

amother

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 2:05 am

I'm at my wits end.
Dd is 2.5
She has learned how to hold it in but not how to let it go.
She will hold in her urine for hours during which she becomes increasingly moody and insufferable until she eventually has a meltdown, ends up peeing a gallon which no diaper can withstand, and ruining her outfit and whatever she is sitting/standing in. She also totally freaks while shes emptying
After that shes all jolly again.
- she is the one who asks to sit on toilet. We don't push her. She's obviously not ready. When she sits nothing ever comes out
- she is my 5th so I know how to toilet train.
-no bribes, charts, running water etc gonna help. She has never yet peed on demand. She doesn't know how
- she is mega stubborn
- already spoke to pediatrician. Says they dont have a magic trick to help me.

Advice? Has anyone personally dealt with this?
-

myname1

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 5:14 am

Wow, that sounds frustrating for all of you! How long has it been? How long does she sit on the toilet for? Can you sit with her for a while in there reading books or something when you see she's getting antsy? Put on bigger/double diapers to try to catch it all? Would a diaper with a hole on the toilet help? Seems like something is stopping her from letting it come out in the toilet? Hatzlacha!!

silverlining3

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 8:47 am

Are you maybe becoming frustrated and she senses your tension, therefore taking you on a ride?.?

I had that with my oldest.. 1st time mom, and she didn't like that I was so on top of her with asking every 15 minutes if she needs to pee. She kept it in until she couldn't anymore.. It couldn't go on like this.. I stopped training and decided, when I'll feel ready again, and calm, I'll start again. The next week I started again, asking once every hour or so, within 3 days she was fully trained!

As I'm typing I thought, Are you using a potty? If not, she might be afraid of the regular toilet. (I did use a potty though Smile

)

amother

Taupe

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 9:01 am

Is your child constipated? I’ve gone through this with most of my kids when they potty train-they’re afraid that I’d they sit on the potty or let pee come out that they will also have a bowel movement. They’re scared of having the bowel movement on the toilet, so consequently they hold in both and are miserable! If that’s the case, then I’d talk to your pediatrician and maybe put the kid on miralax or something like that. Hatzlacha! I hate potty training!

amother

Bisque

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 9:07 am

First of all, congratulations! By her learning to hold it in, you have accomplished the first important phase of training. Now she needs to learn to release at the right time. Keep on giving her positive feedback for staying dry and keep an eye on the clock. When you know her time limit for the accidents, try to focus activities near the bathroom. When she starts peeing, put her on the toilet/ potty and try to catch as much as possible in there. And then show her what she accomplished and give only positive feedback. When you feel most frustrated, that's when they start getting it. You're on the way. Hatzlacha!!

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 10:24 am

I would put pull ups on before she gets a UTI... or have her walk around bottomless with a potty in the room (basically start over)

Getting mad at her won't help anything and may cause issues later on in life

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 10:30 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

It's not a parents job to really protect a child from a natural consequence of them not cooperating. If she gets a UTI, you'll treat it. She probably won't. Most UTIs come from improper wiping anyways.

womanwithaplan

Wed, Jan 06 2021, 10:37 am

Had a very similar situation with my son while toilet training him. He would hold in for hours but not be able to let go. (Actually created a similar thread here on Imamother)

Ultimately after trying everyone's ideas and nothing working (kid being tense and miserable all along), I heard of someone that does energy work over the phone and helped a friend of mine with same issue.

Being at my wits end I scheduled a session with her and soon after things started getting much better. If you are interested in hearing more about this you can PM me.