Teen DD - no emotional regulation when stressed

amother

Slategray

Fri, Jan 08 2021, 2:00 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I tried speaking to DD about her latest tantrum during a calm moment earlier. She said she doesn't want help for this AT ALL because it feels good to release her stress. I told her that screaming "Get away!" to her parents is not acceptable but she just kept justifying her behavior that she needs to 'get it all out of her system' when she's in a bad mood. She doesn't seem to care that she is imposing her bad mood on her everyone else!

First let her now you understand she feels like she needs to get her out of her system. I like the balloon analogy - if it's to full it has to pop - but if you learn how to release the air safely before getting to that point the balloon stays intact and you don't have the scary noise. When she has to much stress and no way to take the levels down she needs to explode - but you want to help her avoid getting there at all.

Ask her how she see's herself in the future - seminary dorm, married with a husband, kids, job - does she think its ok to act like this in those positions? If she doesn't explain that it takes time to make changes and she needs to start now if she doesn't want to act like this in in the future.

I really recommend DBT as well. If she won't go to a group - is she willing to have you learn the skills and teach her?
Stress is an inevitable part of life - learning to manage it is crucial.