16 month old crying in crib A LOT

amother

Sat, Jan 02 2021, 8:09 pm

My 16 month old started having trouble going to sleep since I gave birth recently. He started to cry after he finishes his bottle or sometimes while
I’m putting him in and doesn’t stop. This can go on for an hour. I go in and sit with him and go out and come back and nothing I’m doing seems to be working. Any advice please?!?!

trixx

Sat, Jan 02 2021, 8:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That's your answer. Sleep is a time of separation and he isn't secure enough to go to sleep. Going out and coming back probably makes him more anxious. Ik it's hard with a newborn but this one is also still a baby. Give lots of cuddles and alone time, and I'd probably sit with him until he falls asleep for the next little while. (don't usually like this bc you don't want to start bad habits but it sounds warranted here)

amother

Lawngreen

Sat, Jan 02 2021, 8:19 pm

Its probably that bottle association was a crutch and now that hes older its not working. Needs to learn strategies to calm and settle without a bottle. Lovie and paci are usually still accepted now- so if you wanted that, it may still be an option. The earlier you get rid of crutches/associations the easier, so be prepared for a "few" challenging nights. Personally, I like to have this by 1 yr old latest because habits are tough to break. You'll likely need some sort of sleep training. Hatzlacha raba !!

amother

Wheat

Sat, Jan 02 2021, 9:11 pm

Don’t let him cry. Try to figure out what’s bothering him and especially if you just had a newborn stay with him to give him extra security.
But to cry for that long... please just no.

amother

Natural

Sat, Jan 02 2021, 9:16 pm

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

Doctor? Ear infection?? Teething? He is too little to notice the baby, probably.

He's not too little to notice that mommy is less available. I agree with giving him extra rocking at bedtime. He needs security.

amother

Turquoise

Sat, Jan 02 2021, 11:31 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

He's not too little to notice that mommy is less available. I agree with giving him extra rocking at bedtime. He needs security.

I agree with this. I mean obviously there is the possibility that something else may be bothering him but I have a child that age and she would for sure notice that something was different if I had another baby now. I can totally imagine this being a very possible cause for the bedtime crying.

editing to add that I assume the OP realized that this is probably the reason since she mentioned it. Sorry I don't have any suggestions on what to do other than the obvious as much attention and cuddles as possible, "sharing" the baby in whatever safe ways you can, etc.

Teomima

Sat, Jan 02 2021, 11:56 pm

Children that age are not manipulative. He's telling you he needs his Ima. He's not getting all the attention he's used to during day and he needs more love and cuddles at night. I would stay with him and hold him.

amother

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 8:20 am

I know he’s still a baby and I don’t treat him like an older kid even though there’s another under him. I also don’t leave and let him cry. I stay with him or leave for a few minutes at time. I’m sure it’s the adjustment all around that’s making him cry in the crib but he needs sleep which he’s not getting too much of because of this problem and I’m trying to figure out how to help him sleep better.
Thank you for all the responses. I will just keep being patient and stay with him and pat his back.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 8:40 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My daughter was older then yours when I had my recent baby, but omg, she didn't sleep for a few months when the baby was born Sad

it was awful, I was so sleep deprived but not even from my newborn, from the one right above. All I can say is give a lot of love and attention and hopefully it will pass sooner then it passed for me!

amother

Natural

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 8:42 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

My daughter was older then yours when I had my recent baby, but omg, she didn't sleep for a few months when the baby was born Sad

Yes, this is fairly common.

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 1:32 pm

Patting his back is different than holding him and rocking him and talking or singing to him.

He needs you. Not just a hand on his back

amother

Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:59 pm

Coming back here to thank everyone for their responses and advice. We cuddle a lot and I make sure to give him extra secure feeling at bedtime(and all the time) and it really improved a lot. Thank you!