Difficulty vacationing as couple, advice plz!!

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Forum -> Vacation and Traveling

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womanwithaplan

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:25 pm

We bh have a great loving marriage.
But..... whenever we went on vacation we ended up disappointed Sad

DH wants to run around all day and take it all in!! He is very energetic and wants to make the most out of every day. He has no interest in wasting a moment.

I, however am much more relaxed by nature, and especially when I go away I just want to let go of everything. I want to sleep a lot, be lazy and to just take it easy in general.

Is anyone in a similar situation?
How can I make it work between the two of us so we're both satisfied after going away together instead of feeling let down?

And please don't advise me to go with sisters or friends. That is a possibility but I want to be able to enjoy going away with my husband as well!!

TIA!!

amother

Mustard

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:27 pm

I know!! Please go with my Husband and I’ll go with yours!

HeartyAppetite

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:28 pm

Split it up for example Just do two days of running around and two days of being lazy,
Or divide your days for example in the mornings you sleep late and sit at the pool and then in the afternoon do something dh likes to do.

womanwithaplan

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:30 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

I know!! Please go with my Husband and I’ll go with yours!

amother

Apricot

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:35 pm

Yes this was me and my husband. I was so disappointed on our honeymoon: he took corner to get ready and daven and I so wanted him to get up early so we could start our day. I hate just sitting around. Anyway 10 years and BH many vacations later we’ve both had to compromise. I’ve had to see things his way and he’s tried to see it mine. It’s hard. But seeing it from his perspective helps me

challahchallah

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:46 pm

In addition to both of us doing some things that the other wants to do, we’ve also found it helpful to be ok splitting up some days on vacation. We both do the activity we want during the day, then come together for the evening and can have a nice time discussing what we did over dinner.

HeartyAppetite

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:50 pm

challahchallah wrote:

This is what my parents did in their vacations.

ra_mom

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 12:56 am

We used to be like that. Now we plan out our itinerary ahead of time so we're both prepared with no surprises or unexpected expectations. We schedule activities in the afternoon (his favorite part of vacay). That way we can lazy around in the morning (my favorite part). It ends up being very refreshing.

Last edited by ra_mom on Fri, Jan 15 2021, 7:08 am; edited 1 time in total

yiddishmom

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 1:00 am

Haha we are the same. As others have said, some days are centered to his presences and some to my preferences....

imasinger

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 7:50 am

A few more thoughts.

- Each reward yourselves for stretching to accommodate. You get bubble bath time after the big hike, he gets a session in the hotel gym on the quiet day.

- Each find something positive to say about at least one of the other's preferred vacation likes. "You know, I liked kicking back and hanging out quietly with you, I wouldn't want it every day, but today was nice, and we had a chance to sleep in." "I didn't think I'd enjoy hang gliding, but it was really fun!"

- Each thinks about the times when energy levels are highest and lowest while planning.

- Each thanks the other for making the effort to stretch, and rewards each other in the currency of their love language.

Enjoy!

amother

Turquoise

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 9:29 am

My husband is like you! We just went on a vacation and I ended up going out myself in the mornings. Then in the afternoons I didn't mind just lazing around because I had gone out

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