What's the difference in mentality?

Chickensoupprof

Tue, Jan 19 2021, 5:01 pm

Ok, I read in the thread about how close you are with your MIL I read something about ''Well I'm American and she is European''.
I often hear these things ''They are Israeli, a bit different'' or ''This is so American!''
So I'm curious what is according to you the difference in mentality?

SuperWify

Tue, Jan 19 2021, 5:12 pm

According my Israeli relative who lives in Europe for many years:

Israelis: tough, brash, but very warm. Tend to overshare.
Europeans: too polite, almost cold. They don’t share anything personal.
Americans: have a good balance of the two.

Ok, don’t take any offense please- I’m merely stating her views.

DrMom

Tue, Jan 19 2021, 5:39 pm

SuperWify wrote:

I think this stereotype depends on where in Europe.

The typical mentality (again, speaking in broad terms) is different in Italy vs. Poland vs. Sweden.

Chickensoupprof

Tue, Jan 19 2021, 5:58 pm

Dr mom you right, Italians can come late and are loud. Dutch are really on time and serious sometimes and really love their way of being so progressive. Polish people are more conservative in lots of ways.

What I have with Americans is that they are immediately all over you “HELLO HOWS YOUR DAY!!! Ooooh myyyy you look AMAAAAAAAZING” feel they are lovebombing me 😅 Dutch are direct, we say “no” and not “oh excuse me it doesn’t fit for me”. Typically dutch is af 5:30 in the late afternoon you get a bit ushered out of the door because “we are going to eat, you need to go away” the Dutch are not like “oh please come eat here would be nice!!!” Except when they are from the Dutch Caribbean, Suriname, Turkish, maroccan or Jewish or anything else. My mother who is despite everything a really yiddishe mame hated it when people felt uncomfortable around dinner time “PLEASE SIT AND EAT” “nonono” or we were once eating dinner and my brothers friend came in my mom offered him every food in the house! Every crumb “no I just ate” “ok sit somewhere else if you don’t eat I get nervous when people don’t eat at my dinner table”. But yeah this is really dutch. A bit private, direct and have our own weird set of rules.

I find Israelis sometimes rude, they don’t say thank you and please. They shout at you and scream. I needed to learn at the shuks to push people away and screaming that I wanted to have oranges.

Roots

Wed, Jan 20 2021, 12:13 pm

WHEN I moved to israel (from NY)I had a bit of a culture shock
now I guess im pretty used to it
in the beginning whe someone once asked me how much I pay rent I felt that the question was really out of place and private
today, as an israeli, it doesnt bother me at all.
but I think to take the good things from each place. im very strict with my kids about littering and standing up for elder ppl on the bus etc which in america is more spoken about (maybe due to the importance of making a kiddush Hashem among non jews)
(but IMHO its the same in israel, I think its extremely important to make a kiddush Hashem specifically in front of the the chiloni community - but thats a different matter entirely..)

zaq

Wed, Jan 20 2021, 12:44 pm

DrMom wrote:

I think this stereotype depends on where in Europe.

The typical mentality (again, speaking in broad terms) is different in Italy vs. Poland vs. Sweden.

Good point. No one has ever described Italians as "cold." Cold-blooded murder in the Mafia, yes, but that's 'nothing personal, just business.'

ShishKabob

Wed, Jan 20 2021, 12:45 pm

SuperWify wrote:

I really liked this way of putting it! I also happen to think it's accurate!

zaq

Wed, Jan 20 2021, 1:15 pm

But why are we helping to perpetuate stereotypes here? There are cultural differences between countries, why does that come as a surprise? For that matter there are cultural differences between different regions within the same country, between different socioeconomic classes living in the same area, and between generations.

Just as an example, younger people in the US consider the use of given names by people who don't know each other to be the correct thing to do; it's 'friendly', and they think that calling a person Ms/Mr Surname is snobbish and offputting. In contrast, many older people, regardless of country of origin, consider it unbusinesslike, rude and encroaching to call a person by given name if there is no personal social connection and the business relationship, if any, is not close or of long standing.

"Hi, Zenobia, I'm Paul from Sleazedelity Trust. How ya doing today?"
"Excellent, thank you, Mr. Paul. Please call me Ms. Zaqarias."

Chayalle

Wed, Jan 20 2021, 1:28 pm

I think of Israelis as people who will put their life down for you while yelling at you the whole time.

DH and I always remember our trip to Israel with oldest DD, who was a toddler at the time. We were out with her in an open stroller in Geulah when it suddenly started pouring rain. An elderly lady, complete with shopping cart full of bags of who knows what, accosted us, yelling at us for being out in the rain with a baby, getting her all soaked, like we personally ordered that downpour., such stupid young parents...and while yelling at us the whole time, proceeded to construct from her various bags a covering of sorts for DD's stroller, tying and taping it into place with her various supplies.....

Later on same trip, there was an unexpected blizzard. The whole city of Yerushalayim was totally shut down, no buses, no taxis, nadda. We had to get from where we were staying in Geulah to SIL in Sanhedria Murchevet for Shabbos, so with no other choices, we set out on foot, DD, stroller, suitcases and all, trying to get thru the snow. A guy in a car stopped us, yelled at our idiocy shlepping in the snow like that, yelled at us to get in his car already, and drove us to the door. All the while, he was calling people on his phone, sounded like elderly people, checking if they had heat, if they had food in the house, etc.....

The tzaddikim of E"Y. Awesome people.