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Help! My kids are mess machines.



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 8:16 pm
This is a question for people who have little kids, and also have the type of house that when people walk in looks neat , without toys and shoes and all manner of random stuff strewn on the floors:
(I know these people exist out there, somewhere)
The rest of you can follow...
Question: how do you do it?
I need tips on how to have a neat house.
Sometimes I go and clean the whole house and clear the floor, but as soon as the kids come home, the house becomes littered. This takes only seconds. So then my choices are:
A. Leave stuff on the floor until I have the energy to clean up all over again or until the cleaning lady comes
B. Follow the kids around and clean up the mess as it's happening.
C. Make the kids (who are old enough) clean up their own messes. But when I try this I turn into a policewoman, always ordering my kids to come back to where they were to pick up, wipe up, throw out, etc. I hate the constant badgering and policing.
So how do others do it? Are your kids just naturally neat and always clean up after themselves?
My kids literally are mess-makers. For example, I come into the kitchen in the morning and this is what I find:
A chair was dragged over to the counter to get out the bowls and left there. The cabinet and fridge doors are left open. Cereal boxes are sitting in the table and there are fruit loops on the table, chair and floor. There is also a soggy bowl of fruit loops on the table. The milk is left out and getting warm. There is spilled milk on the table and floor.
So I call my 6 year old son to come clean up the mess. He will take a towel and put it in the floor and leave it there. Or he will use paper towel and use up the whole roll, and leave it on the floor.
Same with clothes strewn over the floor when getting undressed. And toys when they are playing, and papers when they are coloring. The bathroom is always sopping wet when they take a shower , and the clothes on the floor get wet. There are always books and magazines all over the place. The bedrooms are strewn with clothes and towels and Lego. And cups. Lots of cups and half empty water bottles. The pantry drawers are always a mess because the kids help themselves to snacks. I make rules but they dont remember them...
Does anyone else have this? How do you teach your kids to be neater and to put away after themselves?
Any and all tips welcome. Thank you so much!!
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Bleemee




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 8:23 pm
Instead of always telling my kids to clean up, recently I told them how whenever we leave a space we should try to make sure no one could tell what activity we were doing there. So now if they leave the bathroom with the towels on the floor, I remind them to take a quick peek to see if someone could tell what they did there. Some of the kids find it fun and it’s less directions on my part to then.
I don’t do this all day, I still do remind them to pick up etc (because also that gets old quick).
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 8:43 pm
No such thing! You're not their maid. Police them now so their spouses don't have to suffer later down the line. This is an amazing opportunity to discipline and set ground rules. For example, only one toy at a time. They can't play magna tiles, leave them all over the floor and then go on to play a board game. Also give everyone a job after breakfast. My kids ages 4, 3 and 2 put away the cereal boxes, put the milk bag in the fridge, throw bowls in the sink, and ruck in chairs. If they don't I remind them, and when they do it I praise them for listening and doing a job well done.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 8:51 pm
My oldest is almost 4 and my second is almost two. I have certain things that I insist on and others that l let slide. It has to be age appropriate.

Coats must get hung up. Fridge doors must be closed. Laundry must go into the hamper. Wrappers go into the garage. There's one nosh basket that they can take from by themselves.

If they spill, I tell them to get a dish towel and clean it. After they try to clean, I get the spots they missed.

The rest I clean up with them or just clean myself.

It helps to do it in the moment - when they walk in, remind them about the coats...
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 8:51 pm
Multi-prong approach:

Teach a general life skill of cleaning up after yourself. Model this after meals, "I'm finished eating! I'm going to clean up my place." Model it again after you play a game. "Checkers was fun! Let's put it away so we can find it the next time we play." Model it again at bedtime, "What a fun day! Let's put our clothes into the hamper so they can be washed to wear those pretty clothes another day." And in the morning, "We had such a good night's sleep! Let's make our bed so it will be ready for the next night."

Do NOT do this all the time, just look for occasions to model that behavior. Again, you don't want to be a policewoman!

At least once during the day, do a 5-minute pickup. Announce, "We're turning on a timer for 5 minutes, let's all find things to put away." Very useful skill - teach them to put the easy stuff away first. I tell my kids, "Only pick it up if you know where it belongs."

For you: The things that don't get picked up during a 5-minute cleanup, are things that might not have an obvious home. Make it easy for your kids to help clean up by making sure everything has a clear and obvious and accessible place!

And resign yourself to the fact that the house will be messy for now. They are still learning about things, and they have an awful lot of skills to learn, and I imagine you don't want them to drop every other skill they are learning and ONLY learn how to clean up after themselves. But with good modeling they'll get there in time! The rest of the day, enjoy your kids and your home!
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 8:55 pm
My kids clean up their stuff before bed. They know that whatever they leave out will get thrown away. The mess that my baby makes, I clean up at night. I don't go to bed before the house is clean.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 10:26 pm
My cousin is like this. Even when she had three kids under four in a one-bedroom apt. it was always neat. I really don't know how she did it other than not having tons of stuff and always cleaning right away. But when she works she's just a blur and accomplishes in ten minutes what would take me an hour--and I'm no slouch.

Different methods of work suit different people. My BFF also has a house that's always clean, but she's a tortoise to my cousin's hare. She cleans as she goes, so everything takes a long time what with being interrupted for cleaning, but her place always looks company-ready. My cousin makes a big mess when she works, but she works fast and cleans up even faster. So her place may be a disaster zone for half an hour and five minutes later it's company-ready.

My own method is to clean in snitches and snatches, when I notice something's dirty or messy. One day I'll clean the couch or the windowsill when I notice a dusty film. Another day I'll wipe down the front of the fridge when I notice grime. Most recently I've been paying attention when something goes BANG in the microwave and wiping out the inside as soon as I remove the dish. It takes literally a few seconds and saves a lot of work later on. But I must admit I don't have little kids anymore. When I had, I was far too busy to even notice, let alone do anything about, a grimy refrigerator door. or stovetop.
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taketwo




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2021, 10:36 pm
I can totally relate. I try to tell myself BH I have a mess, it means I have a home with some cute little people in it. I do try to get them to clean up after themselves here and there, and love the above tips.. but even with those, I think it's important to remember that it's a home, not just a house. I will enjoy a clean house when my kids are older, for now I need to find the balance between letting my kids live and preparing them to be responsible for their own mess. It's a work in progress.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Sat, Feb 06 2021, 6:48 pm
I recently sorted out all my toys, put them in boxes, inside my full sized toy closet. This closet has a lock on and we only allow one toy at a time. This has definitely helped with the toy mess. I also keep my kitchen locked unless either dh or me are around. This prevents them trashing and helping themselves in the kitchen.
I try and prevent as much as possible. Although it never seems enough. My kids somehow got into my makeup bag, and colored the bathroom everywhere possible with my lip gloss, mascara, eye shadow etc.
I do find most of the time they play better when they have less to mess with. However, I feel I have to accept that when I have little kids, mess is the price I must pay. When I can face it, I do try avoid things building up as then it's much harder to clean.
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sun inside rain




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 06 2021, 7:17 pm
Sounds like my home and my feelings exactly. Taketwo summed up my approach best and it was a great reminder, bec it is frustrating. I also have a cleaning lady for 3 hours about 4-5 times a week which saves my sanity and makes the stress of the mess manageable.
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 06 2021, 9:03 pm
The more you supervise, the more you can prevent the messes. I couldn't lounge in bed while they were up and about. Lock up what you could. Make cleanup part of activities. We'll play after we clean up lunch. Turn on a timer and music for 10 minute cleaning blitzes. The less stuff you have, the less mess. Every item needs a place. Train them when they are young so it'll be easier when they are older.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sat, Feb 06 2021, 9:22 pm
yup, kids make messes. And even though you can try to teach them, you can only expect what is age appropriate. So if a 3 year old spills his cereal and milk all over, you can't expect him to clean it perfectly. Sure, give him a shmatte and he can help. But he needs you to help. And if you are holding a colicky baby, it may have to wait till later. It's all in the priorities.

Definitely supervising them is a major point, as someone mentioned. That helps with maintaining a certain level of control of what they get into.

But my house is always messy during the day, try as I do to be on top of it, and try as I do to teach my (very young) kids. You're not alone and you're not in the minority Smile
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