Anyone not planning to stop hugging/cuddling their kids?

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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huff

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 2:17 pm

I find it so strange to read the thread about people saying what age they stop cuddling or even hugging their kids. What on earth??? I get not letting them into your bed or laying on top of you but a cuddle on the couch? Multiple hugs a day?? Or at least when they go away for longer times or come back from being?
Honestly, to me that whole thread totally zexualised children. It will never be inappropriate to cuddle your kids if you don't connect it to inappropriate things.

amother

Coral

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 2:18 pm

There’s an age where they naturally just don’t want it anymore. And for my kids who don’t need touch, hugs, and cuddles, they stop earlier.

amother

Teal

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 2:19 pm

huff wrote:

I didn't read through the other thread, but hugging is always fine and okay. I do think cuddling with an older child becomes inappropriate at a certain point, probably once they hit their teens. I don't think most healthy teens would even want to cuddle with their parents.

ETA, I just read the other thread. I did not notice anyone saying that they stop hugging or cuddling. Most are saying not in bed and kids outgrow it themselves. I didn't find it sexualised at all.

amother

Copper

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 2:23 pm

It becomes weird the way bottle feeding becomes weird. Not zxual, just not developmentally appropriate.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:10 pm

Any time a child says "stop", you should stop. They may want a cuddle one day, and not want you within a 10 foot radius the next day.

Kids are like cats. They only want to cuddle when it's on their terms. Don't force a kid to cuddle, and don't ignore a kid wanting to cuddle.

causemommysaid

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:14 pm

That thread was started in response to another thread where a 20 yr old man was taking his 9 yr old sister into his bed for "cuddles".

I imagine the responses might have been a bit more aggressive than they normally would have been without this ick factor.

That said, most pple don't have a set age where cuddles stop. It's a gradual thing that happens as kids get older.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:31 pm

I still go in my mom's bed!

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:40 pm

My 12 year old still comes for g'night hugs and sometimes snuggles....but my older girls would be weirded out, and rightfully so. Though we definitely would embrace and hug at times. They have grown up, and don't need the physical touch from me in that way.

ETA - they do lean on me sometimes, like on the couch, etc...but I wouldn't call it snuggling like with my little one.

OP, maybe your children are still young. You will see that they grow up. So continue to hug while you can....

Last edited by Chayalle on Mon, Feb 08 2021, 4:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:42 pm

My grown daughters will still sit very close to me on the couch and lean on me or each other. Laps and shoulders are often used as pillows. Or if there is one chair we can share it or sit on laps. (Can be either person on the lap)
I guess we all need therapy.

singleagain

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:45 pm

I still like snuggling up with my mom sometimes. I just want her comfort and the knowledge that she's close.

amother

Teal

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:46 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Haha no therapy needed! Leaning on shoulders is ok, but I do think sitting on each other's laps is a bit much though past a certain age.

ra_mom

Mon, Feb 08 2021, 3:56 pm

Even teenagers love hugs good night, and for their covers to be tucked around them occasionally too.

That's different than a 9 year old girl getting into her 20 year old brother's bed for snuggling. It would make more sense for him to hug her and then tuck her in to her bed for the night, than what was referenced on the other thread.

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