Do I call boys on bus mother that’s bothering my son?

amother

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:53 pm

My son is in 2nd grade, has been coming home in tears the last few days about a few boys on the bus that gang up against him. Call him not nice names, etc. what’s the right approach? Principal won’t help as far as I know - it’s a big school and I can’t imagine he’s dealing with bus politics!

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, the principal should be taking care of things, no matter how big the school is. That's part of the job.

Fabulous

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:56 pm

My son wasn’t in a huge school but the principals do very much take care of bus politics usually. I would start with the principal and if that doesn’t work, then call mother

amother

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:58 pm

Is it wrong to go straight to the mother? I’m friendly with her....we know each other from way back....My son refuses to go on bus tomorrow Sad

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:58 pm

Most big schools have someone in charge of busing, they are often the ones who remind the kids of the rules and make sure there isn't bullying. I would try them or the principal. Definitely call and complain. Even big schools deal with this.

Fabulous

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 9:06 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is it wrong to go straight to the mother? I’m friendly with her....we know each other from way back....My son refuses to go on bus tomorrow Sad

I wouldn't. It can be awkward and there are sometimes two sides of the story.

mandr

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 9:16 pm

I have the same thing with my son, also in 2nd grade. I spoke to the principal and he dealt with the offending child. I know the mother quite well also (she is on a whatsapp group for mothers of children in our area, we have a separate bus route) and have never brought it up with her. Chances are she knows, and she's feeling guilty. When the principal was made aware of the situation, it got a lot better but it's still not perfect. My son actually came home once with a deep scratch on his cheek that was bleeding!

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 9:17 pm

I would drive my kid tomorrow and march into the principal's office and say my kid refused to go on the bus because zevi is bullying him.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 9:19 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

I would drive my kid tomorrow and march into the principal's office and say my kid refused to go on the bus because zevi is bullying him.

No reason to be over the top and possibly embarrass your son.
Call the principal and explain the problem calmly.
If nothing improves, that is a different story.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 9:36 pm

They should have a bus teacher supervising every route, especially children this young.
If they do, ask the teacher to make sure they are seated far apart.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:21 pm

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

They should have a bus teacher supervising every route, especially children this young.
If they do, ask the teacher to make sure they are seated far apart.

I don't think any school has a bus teacher on the bus for elementary grades. That's usually only for pre school.
DD was bullied on the bus and the principal bh took care of it right when I called. They also recently made a buddy system for the bus, everyone got a seat buddy they have to sit with in a designated seat, & they installed cameras on the busses.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:34 pm

Call the principal.
And please listen to your son and do NOT send him on the bus till this is taken care of. Can you imagine being forced to go on a bus where you are bullied and have nowhere to run? Poor boy.
My boys go to a pretty big yeshiva and when there was a bus issue, I called the principal and he was very on top of the situation.

HonesttoGod

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:48 pm

Speak to the principal. And the person in charge of transportation. There needs to be a bus monitor to watch the kids your son shouldn’t have to endure that bullying.

My kid went through it and I demanded a bus rebbe and the principal came through.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:51 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

When I taught in school, we all had elementary routes.
DS is in elementary and there is a bus Rebbe supervising.

No reason for this neglect.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 11:25 pm

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

When I taught in school, we all had elementary routes.
DS is in elementary and there is a bus Rebbe supervising.

No reason for this neglect.

Oh, maybe young boys do have in some schools. The schools that don't have their own bussing don't have a bus monitor.
Girls schools in my community only have a bus teacher for pre school.

amother

Indigo

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 11:36 pm

My first reaction would be to call the school but if I knew the mother and she was the type to care I would call the mother directly!!!

amother

Crimson

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 11:46 pm

I had this issue last year. I called the school and spoke to the assistant principal. He took care of it the same day and I never had a problem again.
The school my son goes to has close to 3000 boys. They have someone from the administration who is in charge of bussing for the younger grades. I wouldn’t confront the mother unless the school doesn’t help you. Let the school deal with this boy. Definitely drive your son for the next day or 2.

Geulanow

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 12:26 am

First say something nice to the mother and then ask how her son likes school. Then tell her your son has a problem on the bus that someone, without saying who, bullies him and ask if she has suggestions.

salt

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 1:35 am

If you are on good terms with the mother, call her and tell her what's happening. Ask her for her son's side of the story - there are always 2 sides.
My DS once came home from school crying because his classmate trapped him in behind 2 desks and hit him on the head with a carrot (I guess that was the only 'weapon' he had on him).
I asked his mom if she can try and find out what happened, and she asked her son, who said that my son took his pencil case.
I then went back to my son who said that he was only joking - he had done it innocently and had not meant to be malicious, but it was good to get both sides of the story.
All sorted out.
(I think I've told this story before here)

OP, I'm not saying that your DS is actually the bully and deserves this, but if this can be sorted out between parents who are friends, and you can get to the bottom of it, why not try.